Will You Ever Forgive me?
/When You Come Back to Me
by The Goddess of Death
Disclaimer: And I don't own Gundam Wing or any song in this story.
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Will You Ever Forgive Me?

Introduction

I sat by her bedside holding her small fail hand tight in mine. My now pale blue eyes stare down at her small body that was filled with tubes and wires going in and out. She looked so helpless like this I don't know how I can take this anymore. It's been two weeks since she was in an car accident and I blame myself. For I started it all with just one word that I knew I had hurt her so deeply. It was just a few days before my next mission with the preventers.

~*~*~*~*~

"Duo can I please go with you this time" she cried to me, I knew she didn't want me to go also it was in December 7th close to my birthday and too, it was getting close to Christmas, Hilde's and I's favorite holiday. We'll spend so much time together every Christmas, I'll sneak her gifts though the window with the help of Quatre and Catherine while Trowa distracted her from entering the death lord's bedroom. (Me). I didn't want her to go for I can so much about her. I couldn't bare to touch her harsh or hit her. She's the only one who always was there. Until the night of December 7th. I can remember how cold it was outside how the snow fell onto the ground covering the ground like white sheets.

I shook my head to her. "No, Hilde you can't go" I just said it like that plain and simple. She looks down at the floor and I could see in her blue eyes that she wanted to go and help me but I remember not to long ago that she tied to help me with Libra and gotten herself almost killed in front of my eyes. She looks back at me and has her rivers of tears steaming down her red cheeks. I reach out to touch her shoulders to calm her down. I don't like to see her cry at all what so ever. I don't want to bring tears to my eyes again like I did when I was just a young one living in the Maxwell Catholic Church staying with Father Patrick and Sister Helen. As soon as I was about to touch her shoulder she steps away from me. "Duo, everytime you have to go on a mission every year it's the same thing, you go off on your missions with the preventers or whoever and I am left here alone. Not knowing if you will come back again to me alive. ALIVE." She yelled at me with tears going down her cheeks. "I have too!" I said back to her. "Why this time" she asked and then she stood silent for the longest time that I've ever seen. Now I don't know what hit me something just blasted out of my month and hit her hard. "MAYBE CAUSE I HAVE BETTER THING TO SO THEN BE WITH YOU….." what in hell did I just say to her. She cover her month with her hand and I saw the tears steam down her face. She slowly step back from me and wipe her tears away. "Fine Duo if that's how you feel, that you care for me was made of crap that is just fine with me" she ran off to her room and slammed the door making pictures from the hallway fall off the wall onto the wood floor. I took a deep breath hoping to day my sorry to her when I open the door. I stand in front of her door and knock slowly. "GO AWAY-" she yelled from her room and I looked down at the floor. "Hilde babe-" I was cut off when she open the door and saw me, I knew she was mad at me more then mad. She was really pissed off at me. Why would I say that. "Don't call me babe anymore" she was carrying a backpack and a pillow. "So where are you going?" I asked as she marched down the hall. Away from me as possible. "Away from you. You said that you have better things to do then be with me." She cried. She grabbed her car keys, her bag, coat and cell phone. I marched after he trying to tell I didn't mean too say that. she opens the door to outside and looks at me one more time. "Please forgive me Hilde" I cry to her. "No, I don't know if I can" then she slammed down and the last thing I heard was the car pulling out of the driveway.

I walked over to the couch and sat down holding on head in my hands crying. "I shouldn't have never said that, maybe I am right I don't have the heart to hurt her or even have the heart to love her like she dream of. Does she even know that I love her with all my heart and soul."

I remember longs nights on cold long nights that I'll hold her close after a mission or war. I'll hear her crying in my arms thanking God that I am alive. But I knew that she was right I might not come back alive. I wanted to make her understand that I care so much about her. But inside I am dying from seeing her crying.

But within my soul I am a death god and she is a human we have two different lives. Maybe I was right I should be alone this is just another Sacrifice for the God of Death.

~*~*~*~*~

It's a human sign

When things go wrong

When the scent of her lingers

And temptation strong

Into the boundary

Of each married man

Sweet deceit comes a callin'

And Negativity lands

Cold, cold heart

Hard done by you

some things look better baby

Just passing through

And it's no sacrifice

Just a simple word

It's two hearts living in two separate worlds

But it's no sacrifice at all

Mutual misunderstanding

After the fact

sensitivity builds a prison

in the final act

we lose direction

no stone unturned

no tears to damn you

when jealousy burns

Cold, cold heart

Hard done by you

Some things look better baby

Just passing through

And it's no sacrifice

Just a simple word

It's two hearts living in two separate worlds

But it's no sacrifice at all

Cold, cold heart

Hard done by you

Some things look better baby

Just passing through

And it's no sacrifice

Just a simple word

It's two hearts living in two separate worlds

But it's no sacrifice at all

~*~*~*~*~

I just couldn't believe what I did now my heart needs a second chance but I don't know if that will work. I have to tell her how much I feel for her and tell her I am sorry I didn't mean to say that at all. So now I sit down and was about to call her cell-phone when the phone rang. I picked up the phone but this phone call wasn't I expecting to hear. "Hello-" I started. "Mr. Maxwell," a dim light voice says back to me. "Yes this is he"

"Yes Mr. Maxwell this is Dr. Hunt from the Elizabeth hospital a few minutes ago your friend came in from a Ambulance after a terrible car accident."

I stood cold deeply cold now my only true friend is in the hospital because of me and my big month. I fell to my knees with tears steaming down my face. I've drop the phone to the ground and sob. I couldn't get up I was weak, weak hearted, weak kneed, weak loved, I am the God of Death I can't love I've should of known better then to fall in love with Hilde. Oh mighty God of Heaven and the Earth don't take her away from me. I took a deep breath and stood up and headed for the door. As I opened the door. Trowa Barton stood there he was out of breath, his white under shirt was covered with blood. "D-Duo, I-I r-ran to get you. Come on I'll take you to the Hospital" he tries to say with the shock on his face and the sorrow within in body. We jump into the truck and Trowa speeded off towards the hospital. "Trowa are you hurt"

"No

"…huh"

"I was walking to your home to drop off some thing for you when I saw Hilde's car the next minute when she turned a red pick up truck had rammed into the drivers side of the car she was in. Making the car flip, I went to go help her out" then Trowa stopped he didn't want to tell me anymore he can already see the sorrow in my eyes.

~*~*~*~*~

~ Trowa ~

I ran to the flipped over car. I kneel down to the window and there she was crying and screaming for help over and over. She started to punch on the window trying to free herself. She looked so battered very badly. Blood steam down her face wounds were all over her arms and fingers. "HELP-ME" I heard her cry I place my hand on the window and tell her I'll get her out of there. I just couldn't leave her there. I grabbed hold of the crack door frame trying to pull it open over and over. As I continued trying to open the broken door. Ambulances, fire trucks, and police man came right down towards me. But it seemed the people that had made a circle around us was just watching. A police officers grab the fire-mans shirt and pulled him back shaking his head. I heard a loud crack and the door flew open. "Hold on Hilde" I says to her as the door flew over my shoulder and I caress her cheek with my hand. She looked scared like a child being taken from it's mother. In order to make sure her head doesn't touch the ground to make it worse. I take off my turtle neck and folded it into a pillow like form. "I need help" I yell to the officers as they run over to me and so did the fire man. "She's losing blood we have to get her out there" a fireman says. One of the fireman went other side while I held her hand as she cried from the pian. "Shh….it's going to be okay." I whisper. A few minutes later they have gotten the steering wheel cut off the seatbelt off of her. I slowly pull her out of the car. I held her up in my arms and then laid her down resting her head onto my turtle neck. I can tell from her eyes that she couldn't stay awake any longer. "No Hilde stay awake you can't leave Duo now" I cry when she gave me a small smile. "T-tell…..D-duo I love him for me" she softy whispered and I nodded. She smiles at me one more time and closes her eyes going limp. Right then paramedic's and fire man pushed me away from her. Her hand slipping from mine. I stood up and saw an officers push me away. "Your going have to leave"

And before I knew it she was loaded into the Ambulance and driven away. My best friend girl friend was in the death ally. I shook my head and went spiriting down the road a few blocks away from the scene towards Duo's home.

~*~*~*~*~

Trowa and I sat in the waiting room for the longest time. Until one of the doctors came towards me and looked down. " Mr. Maxwell and Mr. Barton I am afraid that I have bad news"

No not bad news I want good news, I don't want her to die, because of me I want her to be in my arms safe and sound. But for me being the God of Death. It's just a fairly Tale. Trowa placed his hand on my shoulder as I held back the tears. "Will she be okay will she live?" I ask I knew that wasn't going to happen. "She has eternal injuries, we don't know how long she's have." I stop the doctor from talking when I ran past him into her room. She body was badly battered. She hair was covered by a white bandage going around her head. Her right cheek had a white patch. Tubes and wires were going everywhere in and out of her body. I ran to her side and took her hand. I started to sob over and over begging to God not to take her. "Hilde baby please forgive me, I didn't mean what I said I always love being around you so much. Because I want to commit my love to you" I sobbed as I kissed her fail hand. "Trowa-" he walked in and stood at the end of the bed looking down.

"Yes,"

"I want to thank you for getting her out of that car"

"Your very welcome, she told me something Duo"

"What?"

"She told me after I pulled her out of the car and laid her down she told me that she still loves you as well" Trowa smiled for the first time and I smiled back and look back at Hilde. I stood up and lead down to kiss her forehead right by her bruised eye. I gently pressed my lips to her cold skin and whisper. "I'll always love you"

~*~*~*~*~

It's been weeks now and she still haven't woken up or Trowa haven't left the hospital either he must have seen something that told him to stay. It was christmas eve. Hilde and I time to cuddle up together on the couch and tell how much we care and so for. Outside the snow completely fell to the ground, carolers were signing in the hospital right near the room where we were staying in. I was about to get and go get the gift I have gotten her until her hand moved. Squeezing my hand tight like she was in pain. "D-Duo" I heard a soft whisper. "I'll go get the doctor" Trowa says as he runs out of the room past the carolers and to the doctor. "Hilde, hey Hilde" I look down at her and she opened her eyes to me slowly. I caress her cheek with my hand gently and she smiled. "Hello Duo" she says. "Hilde" she sits up fast and lungs her arms tight around me. And started to cry. "I love you Duo" she sobbed I rest my head on her head gently and smiled as my tears of joy went down my face. "I love you too Hilde" I smiled. The doctor came in and smiled and so did Trowa. A Christmas miracle was just brought down to me and her too. I don't know what the doctor ment by she didn't have long she was awake, in my arms telling me that she loves me and I love her.

The next morning down stairs in the Childrens play room, they were having a christmas party with gifts all of the people there. Hilde had change into a pair of checker PJ pants with a winter flannel top to match. I'll help her into the wheel chair. Her legs were just too bruised and battered to walk and hurt to much. When we were in the Elevator she look up at Trowa and handed him a small red bow. "Here, it's a gift from Duo and I." Trowa smiled and open the little box. A gold colored pin, with the letters. "You're my Hero" with a heart around it. "Thank-you Hilde" he smiled to us and place a kiss on her cheek as token of thank you. As we entered the Christmas party everyone was laughing singing and playing games. I stopped her wheelchair and keeled to her face her holding one hand. "I wanted to ask you something Hilde, what I wanted to say to you that night. Will you marry me" I pulled out a ring with a angel on it and placed it on her finger. "Yes" she says. "I will" she leans forward to kiss. When both of our lips crush together.

~ Wedding ~

I stood waiting for her outside on the beach, it's our wedding. To be united forever until death do us part. The day when we take our vows to love each other. Hilde hasn't come out yet. All of the guys came to the wedding, Heero, Quatre, Trowa and Wufei. Along with Relena, Sally, Noin and the whole gang came to see us. I stood near the priest and smiled until Relena tapped me on the shoulder. I turn around and smile. "Duo it's time to start" she smiled as everyone gotten to their places as the wedding march began. A few moments later she stood in front of me. We were eye to eye. Lip to lip. Then our vows began.

~ a few months later ~

When the doctor said that she didn't have long it was her inside her body inside was injured very badly and they can't do any work on it. The doctor said that she could die at anything so I make every second the best for her. We had walked along the beach on a nice cool April holding hands and with my arm around her. With the wind in our hair until something was wrong she started to feel a little dizzy. I sit her down on my lap and hold her close. Her skin was getting really cold and her heart beat was dying down. She looks up at me and smiles. "I love you" she placed her hand to my cheek I knew it was happening she was going to leave me. I took her hand and kissed it then her lips. "I love you too" I wanted to hold her like that forever and ever. I looked into her eyes and remember that night that I had hurt her. I can tell from her eyes that she does forgive me and always did. I held her close holding back the tears that would soon fall. But as the sun rose from the darken sky she looks up at me and smiles before her eyes closed for the final time. And that is all I have to say about that.

~*~*~*~*~

If I should stay,

I would only be in your way.

So I'll go, but I know

I'll think of you ev'ry step of the way.

~*~*~*~*~

Everyone gathered one that day all with sorrow and despair. I stood in front of everyone, ahead of Heero, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei along with their happy together forever loves. I look down at the white casket that had a bunch of flowers on it. I never said a word that day. Everyone knew how much pain I was in, they knew I loved her so much. As everyone bowed their heads in prayer I started to sob holding my hand over my eyes as tears came.

~*~*~*~*~

And I will always love you.

I will always love you.

You, my darling you. Hmm.

Bittersweet memories

that is all I'm taking with me.

~*~*~*~*~

At the dinner I sat alone on the couch with only Trowa and Relena trying to comfort me. I held a photo book in my hands and looks through it. Smiling at the pictures that made me laugh when Hilde and I were ice skating and I was trying to teach her. Our wedding pictures, and party pictures.

~*~*~*~*~

So, goodbye. Please, don't cry.

We both know I'm not what you, you need.

And I will always love you.

I will always love you.

~*~*~*~*~

I stand in the empty house that was empty I was moving I don't know if I wanna to stay there anymore. As I walk to the fireplace where I saw her name craved into the mantel. I smile and hope that she's in heaven with Father Patrick and Sister Helen safe and I hope she's knows I'll be there soon to wrap my arms around her again.

~*~*~*~*~

(Instrumental solo)

I hope life treats you kind

And I hope you have all you've dreamed of.

And I wish to you, joy and happiness.

But above all this, I wish you love.

And I will always love you.

I will always love you.

I will always love you.

I will always love you.

I will always love you.

~*~*~*~*~

I grab my knife from my pocket and start to crave my name next to hers. The words say.

Hilde Maxwell was here

And so was Duo Maxwell

Hilde and Duo together forever

I step back and read it again until I hear foot steps coming from the door. I turn around and see Relena, Heero and Trowa standing there. I walk over to them and sit down on the stairs step. "Duo your flight leaves soon" Heero whispers to me he knows I am still hurting. I look down at my feet as Relena patted my back. I look back up and smile. I get up and watch the others walk out the door. As I walk towards the door. I look back and sees a vision of Hilde and I cuddle up on the couch, and then another she was in a white ball grown spin around and around as the snow fell. "I'll always love you Hilde, Goodbye my love" I whisper as I grab my brief case and letting Max our dog walk ahead before shutting the door.

~*~*~*~*~

I, I will always love you.

You, darling, I love you.

Ooh, I'll always, I'll always love you.

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When You Come Back to Me
(the sequel to Will You Ever Forgive Me)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ There's a ship out on the ocean at the mercy of the sea

It's been tossed about lost and broken wondering aimlessly

And God, somehow you know that ship is me ~

He has moved out of the house after her death. Now his life is falling apart. Catherine and Trowa have had tried to stop him many times from killing himself. He wanted to die and be with her, ever since she's past he had ever knew if she's ever forgave him that year ago. He wanted to be with her in heaven but he wasn't sure if he was going to heaven after all the death he has made while he had pilot Deathscythe along the way. Duo sat down on the couch on his apartment packing his stuff for the next mission. He slowly closed the suitcase and a picture of Hilde and him on their wedding. He picked up the picture and sobbed. He picks up his razor and pressed it to his wrist. He was just about to slice when a hand touches his shoulder. He drops the razor and sees Catherine and Trowa. "We believe in you, you can live on Duo" Catherine smiled.

~ Because there's a lighthouse in the a harbor shinning faithfully

Pouring it's light out across the water for this sinking soul to see

That someone out there still believes in me. ~

Duo walked towards his gundam Deathscythe-hell as the hatch opened and the cockpit as well he jumps in and sits down and looks down at everyone who was kissing and hugging their loved ones behind. Duo held his head in his hand and held back his tears. "I miss you Hilde and I love you" he sobbed. The hatch closed in as the system loaded up. As he loaded up the system he felt a soft gentle hand touch his cheek and his name being called once. "Duo…." He opened his eyes and saw nothing to be there. "Live on Duo please" that was said to him. Duo nodded to the similar sound of that voice in his ear. After the system has been loaded into the cockpit he blast off into space.

~ On a Prayer, In a song

I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on

Raining down against the wind

I'm reaching out until we reach the circle's end

When You Come Back To Me Again ~

As he floated in space he shuts down his gundam but only to rest. He crosses his arms and closes his eyes and fell asleep. A few minutes later something had awoken him that same voice again. He opened his eyes and couldn't believe who had their arms around his neck and sitting on his lap facing him. It was her, Hilde. Duo reaches out and touches her cheek gentle it was so warm and soft. "Hilde, please come back to me" he whispered as she smiled and said nothing but closed her eyes and leaned forward to kiss. Duo closes his eyes and leans forward to meet his lips with hers. When they touch Duo wrapped his arms around her tight and had tears soloing down his cheeks.

~ There's a time we all come too

In our own time, in our own space

All that we done we can undo

If are heart is in the right place. ~

Duo pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Hilde do you ever forgive me?" he asked as he placed his hand gently on her cheek. "Yes Duo, I have forgiven you I always had." Then she vanished. "DUO LOOK OUT," yelled Quatre, Duo snapped out of it and dodge the attack from eypon.

~ On a Prayer, In a song

I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on

Raining down against the wind

I'm reaching out until we reach the circles end

When you come back to me again ~

 

Before another shot came towards him he grabs Heero's beam cannon and fires at the Eypon, but he misses. "Oh God please let her come back to me again, she forgiven me don't take her again," Duo yelled as he fires at Eypon. Eypon was hit, the blast send Epyon falling to earth and into the ocean. Duo lands his Gundam minutes later and jumps down from the cockpit onto the ground. He lies down on the ground and closes his eyes. His thoughts of losing her again came to his mind like never before. But something strange happen he had forgotten it happen and opened his eyes seeing someone standing over him.

~ Again and Again I see

My yesterdays in front of me

Unfolding like a mystery

You Changing all that was and use to be ~

Duo stood with a huge smile on his face and held her tight. "Hilde I misses you so much, I love you" he held her tight when she kisses him. "I love you too Duo and always" she smiles as Duo ran his fingers though her hair down to her cheek and kisses her softy.

~ ON A PRAYER, IN A SONG

I HEAR YOUR VOICE AND KEEPS ME HANGING ON

RAINING DOWN AGIANST THE WIND

I'M REACHING OUT UNTIL WE REACH THE CIRCLES END

When you come back to me again ~

Months later

The gundam pilots and there wives were sitting inside when the doorbell rang. Trowa went to go answer it when he open the door he saw Hilde and Duo. Hilde looked about eight months with their child on the way. "Let me help you" he says as he helps her inside and takes her bag out of her hand. Duo and Hilde walked into the living room. Duo wrapped his arms from behind gently places his hand where the baby is and smiles. It was like nothing had happen, no car crash, no death. just a happy wedding. God must of now granted his prayer.

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Myrtleboz@aol.com

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