::I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do::

He stared at her, eyes shimmering in the fading light of the sun just as the ripple of waves over the sea beyond his stretch. He didn’t know what to say or do. Her fear, her pain, her tears... they were all real. He’d caused them. For how long, though? For how long had he been doing this to her without even realizing it? What could he say now? What did one say after the kind of pain he caused her?

::But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you::

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, reaching up to touch her face. “I didn’t realize...”

::And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know::

“You don’t have to go,” she pleaded, placing her hand over his. “Please....”

He rubbed her cheek softly. Staring deep into her eyes, he tried to smile but he couldn’t. The pain was too real.

“I have to, Love. I have to go. But it’s not in vain...”

She sniffled her tears, trying to understand but all she could see was that he was leaving.

“Duo... you don’t have to go...” she pleaded again.

With a heavy sigh, he pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and then holding her close as she clung to him.

“I want you to know, Hilde... I found a reason to change who I am...”

“Duo, I...”

Duo placed a finger on her lips, wiping her tears with his other hand.

“It’s you, Hilde.”

::I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you::

“The Wars put a lot on me. More than I ever realized. In any right mind, no man would EVER treat you the way I have, Hilde. No man at All and you’re deserving of so much more.”

Hilde sniffled again. The words he said to her bit her and stung her like a Scorpion in the desert. What had happened in all this course that would cause him to leave? But what hadn’t happened that would cause him to want to stay?

“Duo...”

::I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday::

“I’ve done so many things to you, Hilde... so many things by means of ignoring your help, resisting your need to assist... I can’t stay here like this, continue to do these things to you. I hurt you yesterday, Hilde. I hurt you this morning.”

“You’re hurting me now, Duo... what difference does it make,” she pouted.

Turning away from him, she wanted to just let him go. Let him leave if that was what he wanted, it was killing her to have him stand here like this, telling her he was leaving; bag at his side.

“The pain I have caused you is something I’m going to have to live with daily, Hilde. It’s something that is going to linger for every moment that I breathe.”

Hilde stared at him, unsure of what to say. He had hurt her. He had pushed her away. Maybe this was for the best.

::And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away::

“I wish that I could take all the pain, De. All the past three years of the crying you’ve done over the likes of me. I wish that Heero hadn’t said those things but mostly and more importantly, that I hadn’t agreed at the risk of losing his friendship. You were more important than that.”

::And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear::

“I can’t stay here, Hilde. Maybe time will bring me back but right now, I can’t do this. I found that calling; that reason to start new.”

Hilde tried to blink back her tears. This was the most adult thing he’d ever said or done in his “adolescent” adulthood. He’d grown up seemingly over night but it was not to be told over what was happening at this moment.

Duo stared into her eyes and pulled her close once again. She was the reason. The reason he wanted to walk away from this uneven playing field.

::I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You::

“I love you, Duo,” she whispered softly. “Please don’t go...”

Duo didn’t want to look at her. Tears were streaming his face now, falling like drops of rain from the sky. What could he do? How could he stay? He pushed her away and looked into her eyes.

“::I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know::”

Hilde stared at him, sniffling at his words. She didn’t understand and wasn’t quite sure that she ever would. His reason for leaving was her. Was that a good thing? It didn’t seem like it.

::I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you::

“You’re the reason I want to be a better man, Hilde. You’re the reason I’m walking away because I believe that you deserve better than what I’ve given you. I believe that I deserve a chance at being a better person than that of whom I’ve become.”

Hilde stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. Duo held her close and squeezed her tight. She tucked her face into his shoulder as the tears flooded the gates and the sobs overtook her small frame. He had to go.

Duo pushed her away gently and stared down at her once again. He kissed her forehead and then her nose and bent down to look evenly into her eyes.

“I’ve always loved you,” he whispered. “This is good. You’re my reason, Hilde. Be blessed by that.”

Hilde stared at him and backed away. No matter what he said or how he said it, it didn’t change the fact that he was breaking her heart. But after what had happened, she knew he was right and she knew that she’d never be able to hold onto him at this moment. With a quivering breath and whimper good-bye, she watched him walk away, back pack slung over his shoulder and helmet in hand. A few seconds later, all she saw were the taillights of his bike as they disappeared into the setting sun.

With a sigh, she stared at the scenery and then raised her eyes to the heavens above. The clouds formed in white wisps that became the color of the growing night.

::I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you::

“I love you, Duo Maxwell. I’ve found a reason for all that I do. And that reason is you.”

The End.

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