Key:
(*)= lyrics
(=) = thoughts
(//) = memories
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part one

“Lieutenant,” the man nodded. “I’m glad you have taken these orders. I don’t believe there is another on this base that could represent us better than you can.”
Heero saluted. “Thank you, Sir,” he said, still staring at the wall.

“Now you Know, of course, that you will be headed back there with Lt. Maxwell.” Heero nodded. They were going back to the pit that had scarred them near three years ago. Did he _want_ to go back? Of course not! He’d been this long without seeing her, why did he have to go now? But it _had_ been three years.

Duo stared at the orders in front of him. His commanding officer had just been over the issue with him on what was to transpire within the next week and what would be going on down there on earth.

He’d be going back with Heero and they would be representing the base and their commands, separately together. Could he do this? Could he go back and see her after leaving her three years ago? Had she changed? Had _he_ changed?

*
It starts with one thing
(One thing)
*

//"So you're really leaving," she asked. "Just like that?"
He stared in awe at her. It had been three weeks since their breakup, two weeks later he found out that 'out of a rebound' she slept with Zechs, which was a little more than he cared to know, and now she stood there, pinning this on him.

"You knew it was coming," he whispered at her. "Funny thing is... you were supposed to be going _with_ me." He watched her staring at him and knew she knew it was true. He had been up for promotion for a while and that it had finally been put through, he was headed to fill one of three position that had opened up at the Preventer Base on L3.
"I'm really sorry, Duo," she whispered and looked away from him.
Even though he was still hurt, he knew that he could not continue this facade of being harsh to her. It hurt too much to see pain that he caused. Walking over to her, he put the bag down and the suitcase next to it and pulled her to him. Not being able to hold on, Hilde felt the tears begin to fall.
"Hil..." he whispered and held her close to him, feeling her shiver beneath his touch. "Please don't," he whispered into her hair. "You deserve so much better than what I can give. I thought that we would grow up and old together but maybe it wasn't what you wanted. Maybe I wasn't what you needed and now this sudden realization of truth is what we needed to see that."
She cried, telling him he was wrong. This wasn’t the answer. Whatever had happened was a mistake and she needed him. She loved him and didn't know what to do before. She was confused and now she wasn't. She was begging him to stay knowing full well that he couldn't. "We both knew this was coming, Hilde," he said softly as he forced her to look at him. Wiping her tears as they fell, he focused in on her eyes and leaned over to kiss her.//

Duo sighed. So much had happened back then. There were so many things that had proved his theory about love and hate and life and death. The death of the heart was death in itself but somehow he had survived the suffering he went through when he left her.
Sitting back into his chair, sighing, he stared at the ceiling, placing his arms behind his head. The memories kept washing through his mind of what had happened back then. In three days they would be face to face again but in a different setting. It would be three years since the dissipation of their relationship.

* I don't know why It doesn't even matter how hard you try Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme To explain in due time All I know *

// "I've tried, Duo... I've tried to be who you wanted me to be and I can't anymore."
"Hil..."
"Please get out," she whispered. "I don't mean to be mean and uncool... I just don't know what's going on between us... why we're here... please... get out of my car..."
"I don't understand..."
"I was listening to the radio while you were sleeping and I had a thought of what you might have been dreaming about," she had started and turned to him. "I realized that I didn't care anymore and I haven't cared for some time."
He stared at her, trying to figure out where this had come from but he couldn't.//

That had to be the hardest thing he’d ever gone through. Trying to figure out what he had done to her to make her feel that way. What had he done to cause her to ‘not care’ anymore?

*
(All I know)
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
*

Heero had made the route back to his home. He sighed as he walked into the house, down the hall to his room. Upon entering, he set his shirt and tie down on the dresser and stared across the room at the end table that held his phone and a picture frame. It was a picture he’d meant to rid himself of years ago but had not found it within himself to do so..
Staring at the picture from this distance, she seemed to be pleading with him. Her soft smile and warm features called to him. But the only words he heard were those echoed from way time back.

//"Please get out. I can't do this anymore... I'm not continuing down this road with you... You never really needed me, Heero. You never intended on staying with me or even allowing my assistance in healing your heart. I can't work with you if you work against me and I can't be with you when your heart doesn't want mine. I'm sorry..."//

Was that really still bothering him? How could she say that? But perhaps it was true. He’d ended up sleeping with Catherine that very night. Out of rebound? Perhaps so, perhaps not. It didn’t matter now. In three days he was going to be back on earth, face to face with her and he had to handle it one way or another. They both did.

~~~*~~~

Duo walked in just as the phone stopped ringing. He walked over to the receiver and pressed the button to find out who had called. In his mind, he was certain that it would have been Heero to give him orders on what to do. Funny thing was, he and Heero hadn’t really seen much of each other these last few years.
Sure, they’d lived in somewhat the same area, they worked only buildings away from each other but they’d never really come in contact after their initial moving to L3.

He waited for the machine to go through all the calls he’d received in the last two days and grumbled to himself about not clearing call lists. He almost walked away when the last number displayed. He stared at it and swallowed a large lump that had suddenly spotted itself there, just behind his vocal cords. Or maybe they were in front of it because he couldn’t even begin to breathe or make a sound.

*
It's so unreal
(It's so unreal)
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
(Watch you go)
*

//"Do you wanna talk about whatever is bothering you?"
She jumped at the sound of his voice and kindly accepted his offering. He'd poured the water into the cup and handed it to her as he helped her up to sit with him on the porch swing. He wrapped the blanket he'd brought down around them and held her while she sniffled and took small sips of the hot liquid.
"No... not yet. I can't talk about this right now..."
"Hil... if it's bothering you... I mean, if it's something I did or something I can help you work out..."
"No. Just let me have my space... I'll figure it out and... it will be ok..."//

But it wasn’t ok, was it? He reached down to touch the screen that displayed Hilde’s name across the space and her number. But it wasn’t her number. It was the office she worked at. He knew the number well, even three years later. He sighed, not knowing what to say or do or even think about this. The memories rushed back at him, the hurt and the pain, and he wasn’t sure that he could endure that again. Did he want to? Hell no!

*
I kept everything inside and even though I tried
It all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually
Be a memory of a time when (I tried so hard)
*

//"I'm not sure we should... I mean..."
"If you don't want to...Then don't."
Duo stopped, staring hard into her eyes. He tried to study her and could only see that the expression she carried was serious, the situation becoming gravely darker than it had been. What was he supposed to do now? He wanted to be with her. "I need to know what's going on, Hilde. My making love to you is not going to heal whatever pain you're in."
"Won't it? I haven't felt you in near two weeks, Duo. Please make love to me..."
He stared quietly at her, not knowing how to respond. Damned if he did, damned if he didn't. "I think you need to figure out what is bothering you first and I'm almost certain that it's not about having sex or making love. Come get me when you figure it out."//

*
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
*

Heero opened his eyes. He hadn’t remembered lying down or even falling asleep but he had and was now being awakened by the sound of the phone ringing. Looking at the caller I.D., he sighed and rolled over, slapping the button that put Duo on intercom.

“What,” he asked in his usual hard tone.

“Hey, Man. Are you up for this?”
Heero stared at the young man. They had both changed dramatically over these last several years. Duo’s hair was still long as ever but he was a man and not the impish ‘boy’ he remembered.

“No more than you are,” he admitted and sighed, rolling onto his back and placing his arms behind his head.

“She called me,” Duo spoke. That _was_, after all, the reason he had called.

Heero turned his head to look at the screen, reading Duo’s thoughts through his saddened eyes.

“And?”

Duo shrugged.

“I didn’t get here in time. No message either.”

“So what are you going to do?”
Duo shrugged again. He turned away from the screen for a moment and then back.

“Wanna have a drink, tonight, Heero?”

It was not something he’d openly thought about. It seemed that the two of them had lost contact and so this seemed a strange request but it had already been asked and so now he would wait for Heero to blurt out that he had other things to do.

“Want to meet at Moose’s?”

Though he felt shocked that Heero’s reply was positive, he held it in and nodded.

“Half an hour?”

“Yeah,”

*
One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme, to remind myself how
I tried so hard
*

//"I was listening to the radio before, wondering what you were dreaming. It came to mind that it didn't matter because I really didn't care."//

Heero growled at the radio, even though it was not on. It mocked him for all he was worth. He’d never listened to a car radio since that day and now only had the device to display the time.

//"Tell me what's wrong, Relena. We can get through this if you want to."
"Nothing is Wrong, Heero! And if there Is something 'wrong' it's You asking me what is wrong all the time! Please just let me figure this out on my own! Let me have some space to deal with MY feelings on 'what is wrong'!"//

After three years, one would think that there would be nothing left to hang onto. No remorse, no more regret, no more guilt… but that was untrue. He hadn’t dealt with it ‘properly’ and so he _had_ the remorse and he _carried_ the guilt. His regret was that he didn’t find out exactly what the problem was. _Why_ she had stopped caring.

Had she done this to him or had he done it to himself? How had any of this come about? It didn’t matter any more. It had and it was and it still was. Nothing had changed really, despite the fact that he had grown into a man. A single man.

*
(I tried so hard)
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so far
(It got so far)
*

Duo nodded his acknowledgement at his friend before standing up to shake Heero’s hand. Things seemed so different between them now. There was a need to get to know him again; to remember why they had become who they were.

“How’s it goin,” Duo asked.

Heero didn’t rightly answer, instead, he ordered a beer from the pretty young waitress who had just pranced around him in a small bar-maid outfit.

“Same old sh*t,” he said and placed his keys on the table. “You?”
Duo nodded, playing with the beer he’d already been nursing. It was awkward sitting there with someone who had once been associated as his best friend and now they had two words to speak to each other.

“Tell me about your call,” Heero interrupted Duo’s thoughts.

“Not much to tell. She called and hung up before I got to the phone.”

“Would you have talked to her?”
Duo stared at the shreds of the beer label and shrugged.

“I guess so. I don’t know. I didn’t pick up the phone.”
Heero sighed and sat back comfortably when his beer arrived. The girl smiled and winked at him but it phased him not. He nodded his gratitude for the service and turned back to face Duo.

“If she walked in right now would you talk to her?”
Duo turned to the entrance, suddenly afraid that she _would_ walk in. It was impossible, he knew, but the thought had crossed his mind already.

“Would You, if it were Relena?”
Heero stared at Duo, point blank. The tables were not to be turned and he made sure that he turned it around.

“Does that mean you haven’t truly gotten over her?”
Duo choked on his swallow of beer and tried to calm himself in a manly type manner but it didn’t work. Heero shook his head and looked away. Both their minds were now occupied with thoughts of their former girlfriends.

What _would_ he say if she walked in right now? Duo frowned and thought about it with a serious connotation. What would he say?

*
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
(In the end)
*

“I don’t know,” Duo finally answered. “I think I would tell her that I’m not the same and that what she did really hurt and that I was sorry she felt that way.”

Heero sighed, slamming down the rest of his beer.

“Yeah,” he semi growled, and looked away.

“Well what would _You_ say,” Duo demanded. “If Relena walked in right now and came up to you with something to say, what would you have for her?”

Heero arched an eyebrow at Duo and lifted the empty bottle to his lips before remembering that he already needed another one. Lucky for him, the waitress was already up on it and had placed a fresh bottle down on the table, waiting to take his empty one.

*
You kept everything inside and even though I tried
It all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually
Be a memory of a time when I (tried so hard) *

“I’d tell her I had nothing to say to her and to get the f**k away from me.” Duo stared at him. He was serious.

“You’d say that to her? You didn’t at least love her a _Little_ bit?”
Heero narrowed his eyes at the young man but he had a point.

“I did. That was then and this is now. I’m not looking forward to going down there any more than you are so don’t ask me what I would say. I don’t know. I loved her once. Don’t ask me to talk to her like I still do.”

Duo sat back, observing Heero’s sorrow. He felt it too but what could he do about it? They’d both been in the same boat and for how long without even knowing it?

*
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
*

Heero finished the second beer and threw a wad of single credits down onto the table. He looked up at Duo, studying the young man’s curiosity and motioned for him to follow.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Duo threw a few credits down also, for his part, and walked out with Heero.

“Where do you propose we go,” Duo asked.

“Baker’s,” Heero replied.

“The Bluff?”
Heero turned around. He didn’t want to be in city limits any longer. He needed to savor these last two days before leaving to the earth. Things would drastically change upon their arrival and he wasn’t sure that he was totally prepared to handle it.

“Come if you want,” he said and jumped into his jeep and took off.

Duo watched the dust in the gravel parking lot rise into the dry air and sighed as he looked down. What was the harm there?

*
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There's only one thing you should know
*

Heero had already been out there for about an hour when Duo arrived. He watched the black mustang pull up and turned away to face the non-existent sun set over the non-existent ocean. He missed life back on earth where things were real.

Duo walked up, shoving his keys into his pocket as he watched the pseudo sun disappear. He too had been missing the value of life on earth. Even coming, originally, from L2, he’d learned to appreciate the beauty that the earth had offered.

“It’s too surreal here,” Heero spoke, putting out the rest of his cigarette.

Duo stared at him a moment, not ever realizing that Heero smoked. He thought to question it but it was asinine and didn’t feel like hearing the answer.

Heero turned to look at Duo who was now leaning up against the jeep as well, arms folded.

“Yeah,” Duo replied.

*
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There's only one thing you should know
*

The night grew closer and closer, bringing the moon into clearer view from their point on the colony. Duo stared at it, never truly liking it. He had told Hilde once that it reminded him of a graveyard. It was too close from here.

Heero sighed. He didn’t want to be at this point in his life any longer. He didn’t want to be where he was in his job. There was too much involved. He wanted a rest. A vacation.

“What are you thinking about,” Duo asked before turning to face the stoic young man.

Heero pulled another cigarette from his little pack and lit it, handing over the lighter to Duo who had taken the offering he held out. Duo lit his own cigarette and handed the lighter back.

“Does any of this matter,” Heero asked.

Duo let the smoke exit his lungs slowly and took another drag.

“In the end? I don’t think any of it does.”

Heero nodded, finishing his cigarette.

“So are you ready for this,” Heero asked? Duo stared at the man-made ocean and shook his head. One last puff of the cigarette cost it to be thrown to the ground and stepped on.

“I asked you first,” he reminded and stared into the blue depths of Heero’s eyes.

*
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
*

Heero shook his head with a slight smile across his face.

“If in the end it doesn’t really matter,” he said and turned to face Duo, “then I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

Part two--Letting Go

Duo and Heero were greeted by Sally Po and Zechs Merquise. Neither of whom the two men wanted to see. Not that they wanted to be there to see _anybody_ for that matter, but Zechs, less than Sally, they _truly_ didn’t want to see.

“Gentlemen,” Sally spoke, feeling as the hostility and tension increased in her general area. “We are honored to have you,” she said.

=Cut the bull sh*t= Duo whispered and nodded as he reached to shake her hand.

Heero glared at both of them, saying nothing as they were escorted out of the spaceport. In less than an hour they would be front and center at the meeting.

“How have you guys been? We haven’t heard from you in a while.”

Sally was getting no where and knew that she would get no where so long as Zechs was in their presence. Duo would not be happy when he found that he was engaged to Hilde.

“Fine,” Duo answered. “Real good. How about yourself,” he asked.

Sally smiled, hoping her sweatdrops weren’t obvious.

“Good to hear,” she spoke softly. “Your gear will be delivered to the hotel, it’s already been arranged. Hand this gentleman your passes and we’ll be on our way,” she said, looking both men in the eye.

Both Duo and Heero did as they were told, handing over their ticketing to the man at the desk and then followed both superior officers out of the building.

Duo leaned a bit closer to Heero, whispering how he wished he could just get out of here. Heero merely mumbled his agreement. He was too busy remembering too many things from the past.

*
This will all fall down like everything else that was
This too shall pass and all of the words we said
We can't take back
*

“Well, well, well… Welcome back,” Lady Une spoke as she stepped over to the two young men and shook their hands. “It’s good to see you both,” she said.

Heero nodded at her, acknowledging her but nothing more.

“Thanks, General! It’s good to be seen,” Duo spoke with great enthusiasm.

In his theory, you could be down so long as the whole world knew nothing of it. He wasn’t going to give _anyone_ the satisfaction of ‘looking’ the part. “You’re looking good your self!”

Heero growled inwardly and tried not to focus his attention on the girl sitting at the far desk, talking nonchalantly to her counterpart. Relena hadn’t noticed the entrance of her brother until she felt someone boring a hole into the side of her head. She turned her attention away from the girl and caught an old flame. Both she and Heero stared at each other a moment before Heero turned rudely away from her and followed Sally to his location with Duo. Their designated seating area, unfortunately, was across from Relena’s and diagonal to Hilde’s.

“This is harder than I thought,” Duo whispered under his breath as he looked down to sit. Heero grumbled, staring directly at Lady Une and no where else.

“Shut up and it won’t be,” he hissed back.

If only the meetings would be over, he could get out of here and not have to be faced with her. At least Duo could suave his way out of this, he couldn’t. Unfortunately, he _did_ still have a thing for Relena.

*
Now every fool in town would've left by now
I can't replace all the wasted days
The memory of your face - can't help thinkin'
*

The meetings had gone as they were supposed to. With the first one out of the way, they only had seven more to go within the next three days and then they could go back to L3.

Duo had been invited to the company bar by another Lieutenant, leaving Heero alone to face his battle with the ever elusive Relena Darlien.

“Heero,” Relena spoke softly, finding him on the balcony staring across the lands.

Heero bit his tongue and sighed. He had too many memories cross his mind in such a short period of time that suddenly, he realized. Even if he Wanted to, he wasn’t going to take her back. This was what he needed. He turned around and faced her with a calm appearance. Something he knew she hated.

“Relena.”

“Is that it,” she asked with a half smile crossing her face.

“Should there be more?”
Relena stared at him, observing him. She tried to figure him out before and couldn’t and it made her angry that she still couldn’t.

“A hand shake? ‘Hello, Relena, how are you doing?’ Something along those lines would suffice nicely,” she said.

=You’re the one who walked away= he wanted to tell her but he couldn’t so he let his thoughts continue to be silent.

“Hello, Relena, how are you doing,” he mocked her and offered his hand out to her.

“Without the sarcasm,” she responded and stepped passed him.

“What do you want,” he asked her seriously.

Relena didn’t know what to say. _What_ did she want?

“Just to know how you are doing,” she finally replied.

“Fine,” he answered. “Anything else?”

Relena turned to him and stared. They had cut ties three years ago. One would have thought that the issues of anger and hostility would have died by now.

“What’s up with you,” she asked finally.

Heero turned to her, narrowing his eyes at her, wondering if she was serious. He could see that she was.

*
Maybe if we ever coulda kept it all together
Where would we be
A thousand lost forevers
And the promises you never were giving me
Here's what I'm thinking
*

“Where would be right now if you hadn’t been listening to the radio and realized that you didn’t care,” he asked harshly.

Relena stepped back from him. She didn’t feel threatened by him, just saddened by his hostility. Did she deserve it?

“Boy! That’s somethin from ‘I’ll always love you’,” she snapped at him.

“Relena, I _did_ love you,” he returned. “Look where it got me.”

“I never thought you’d be one to hold a grudge,” she said.

Heero turned away from her with a snort and continued to survey the land. Everything he missed was right below him. Real earth and real water and a real life.

“Ya know, Lee?” He turned to look at her and stared at her with a bit of truth. “I’ve thought a whole lot about you in the time we’ve been apart. I’ve spent a lot of time wondering what would have happened had I not pushed you that one night to tell me what you were thinking, or the night that you asked me to make love to you and I didn’t. Where would we be? And I got to thinking that it didn’t matter. I tried so hard, kept it all in and in the end, it didn’t even matter.”

*
It won't be the first - heart that you break
It won't be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world
*

Relena stared dumbfounded at him. What the hell was That supposed to mean? She watched him walk away and couldn’t even speak to stop him or retaliate against him.

“I won’t be the first, Relena and you won’t be the last,” he called and walked away.

~~~*~~~

“Lieutenant,” the girl spoke to which Duo tipped his hat to her with that charming smile he carried. “Sir, Lieutenant Schbeiker wants to speak with you,” she said.

Duo looked past the girl at Hilde who was waiting by the entrance of the bar. The people Duo was with cracked jokes and made comments about that.

“Woo! Don’t let Lieutenant General Merquise here that,” they teased to the girl.

Duo turned to face them and stared curiously at them.

“Why not?”

“They’re engaged,” one of the female officers spoke.

Duo swallowed his heart as inconspicuously as he could.

“I thought they’d be married by now,” he said without skipping a beat.

“Nuh-uh,” one of the girls spoke. “They’re waiting till the baby is born.”

Had Duo been drinking something, he would have spit it across the room. He knew his face must have fallen pale but he played it off anyway. Instead, he turned to the younger girl who stood next to him and smiled again.

“Why don’t you tell Lt. Schbeiker that she can come and ask me herself.”

“Sir,” the girl spoke. “She’s pregnant and doesn’t want to be with all the smoke.”

=That’s rich. Just tell her to cut the crap and come ask me.=

“Excuse me,” he said to his comrades and got up from the table, ignoring the hoots and hollers, smiling as he walked with the girl back to where Hilde stood.

True the news he’d just been told hurt a hell of a lot more than he thought but who was he? He’d been away for three years and had never called or even _tried_ to establish a link. He stepped up to her, holding the door open for her to step out into the warmth of the sun that showered them. He stared at her, wondering what she was going to say to him; what could be so important that she had to interrupt him from his drink and meal that had been served just as he was walking away.

=What is it this time= he asked silently and stared at her.

“Hil.”

*
Tell me one more time
How you're sorry about the way
This all went down - you needed to find your space
You needed to still be friends
*

Hilde stared at him, waiting for him to say something or chew her out or anything other than what she received. He didn’t.

“How are you,” she asked.

“Good! Yourself?”

Hilde smiled. She wanted to hug him but did not know how it would be taken. _Would_ it be taken?

“So… hear you’re engaged! Congratulations.”
Hilde tried to smile but she couldn’t. She didn’t want Duo to find out about that until she told him but unfortunately, the crew he hung out with were not any to keep things quiet.

“When are you due?”

Hilde blushed and looked down. She wanted to cry.

“Duo, I’m sorry… I just wanted to make amends here, I wanted to…”

=Tell me how sorry you were, you hope we can still be friends and that I’ll understand where you’re coming from.=

Hilde read into his expression. She studied the depth of his violet eyes and shook her head slightly. Could he really be feeling this negatively toward her? Did it matter? She deserved it.

“I’m really sorry, Duo,” she whispered. “I didn’t want you to find out that way.”

Duo guffawed and shoved his hands in his pocket as he looked around, up and down the street.

“I somehow doubt that, Hilde. I don’t think you wanted me to find out, period.”

“That’s not true, Duo,” Hilde replied. “I tried calling you the other day. I wanted to tell you before you came…”

Duo eyed her and nodded, not truly believing that as the reason she had called. All though, since he didn’t pick up and since she didn’t leave a message, how could he be certain that _wasn’t_ the reason?

“I hoped that you would have called some time during these last three years,” she said.

“So we could still be friends,” Duo asked. “I don’t think that would have worked,” he said, shaking his head.

“I think you’re wrong. We could have at least worked _That_ part of our relationship out,” she said.

*
Needed me to
Call you if I ever couldn't
Keep it all together you'd comfort me
Tell me but forever
And the promises I never should have believed
Here's what I'm thinking
*

“Let me tell you something about that,” he said softly. “I loved you with all I had to love and I _asked_ you if you were tired of me, if there was something I had done, something I could do and you said No. On All Three counts, De, you said No.”

“Don’t call me that,” she whispered.

Duo stared at her, taken aback by her plea and shook his head again. She had changed a lot more than he thought _he_ had.

“Fine,” he said. “Should I call you Mrs. Merquise?”

Hilde narrowed her eyes at him, trying to be above him.

“Duo. Cut the crap, ok? If you’re hurt, you have every right to be, but you don’t have to be an a**hole to me about it.”

Duo recoiled, his eyes forming into giant saucers.

=ExCuse me?=

“I’m sorry, What?” he asked. “You know what, Hilde? You were the one who called me out here. I could be inside eating my lunch before these f**kin meetings start back up again so don’t talk to me about being an a**hole,” he said. “You broke my heart, I’ll give you that. But know this. You aren’t the first beautiful girl who’s had that privilege and I won’t be your last either. I just hope Lt. General Merquise can handle that.”

*
It won't be the first - heart that you break
It won't be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world
*

She stood there, blank-minded and shocked at his behavior. How had he turned into a jerk over three years? It all came washing back to her.

//“Why can’t we do this, Hilde? Help me understand.”

“Because, Duo! We just _can’t_.”

“Because you’re everyone else’s girl.”

“That’s not true,” she hissed. “I don’t know why you say that!”

“It Is true, Hilde. You always want to be where the action is. Unfortunately, that’s not with me.”//

It was after that argument that she’d realized that she didn’t want to be with him anymore. It only took her three months to gain the courage to tell him. Unfortunately it was during their road trip to Arizona. She hadn’t really meant to do that; she hadn’t planned it.

*
It's over now - and I've gone without
'Cause you're everyone else's girl
It seems to me - you'll always be
Everyone else's girl
Everyone else's girl
*

Duo made a face at her and stepped away from her, and turned around, opening the door. Hilde blinked as she watched him step inside. She didn’t run away crying or even go in after him. Had it really been that long? She sighed and walked away, the young cadet opening the door from her after observing it all from a distance.

~~~*~~~

The days had passed. Nothing had come of anything; Heero finally laid Relena to rest and Duo shook Zechs’ hand, wishing him all the best that he could have and congratulations on his arrival coming soon. It hurt a little that Hilde was carrying someone else’s child but theirs wasn’t meant to be. He was in heaven now and that was all that mattered.

Heero looked at Duo as they both boarded the shuttle.

“Glad to be going back,” Duo asked.

Heero set his seat back and closed his eyes.

“Hn.”

Duo looked out the window and sighed as he watched the crew in the window. Sally, Zechs, Relena, Hilde, Lady Une and Lucrezia Noin all stood there watching as the shuttle prepared to take off.

*
This will all fall down
Like everything in the world
This too must end
And all the words we said
We can't take back
*

“So… did you let go,” Heero asked, eyes still shut.

“Did you?”

Heero turned to face Duo, staring into his bright eyes.

“I asked you first,” Heero growled lightly.

“I did. And I hope they’re happy together. I hope he can handle it.”

Heero observed him a second longer and turned away.

“Yeah,” Heero said. “Can’t take any of it back either.”

Duo took in a deep breath and then let it out slowly.

*
It won't be the first - heart that you break
It won't be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world
Beautiful girl
*

“Well… there are plenty of others, aren’t there?”

Heero did the same, taking in a deep breath and letting it go. “Beautiful girls? Of course. Sooner or later.”

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

Seven Months later, Hilde gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Heero met and married an officer among the ranks of the Preventer Base he worked on and Duo got together, after three years, with Trowa.

Happily Ever After and STUFF.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~