Hilde sat in the tub with the shower on. What have I just done? What just happened? She thought to herself. She uncountously hugged her knees to her naked body, letting the water fall on her. She silently let the events of that night roll through her head.
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She’d invited Duo to go to a free concert downtown in the colony. He’d been so excited and told her rather bluntly "I’m not going to let you sit down for one single second we’re there, you know that right?" She’d laughed and shook her head yes in response. She and Duo were best friends, but she couldn’t help but begin to start liking him as more. They’d gone and he kept true to his earlier statement. They didn’t sit down for a second. They were always walking around, even while they were eating. It was great. He’d seen a wall climb and they wouldn’t let him climb it. You had to be 20, and they weren’t. As they turn to walk away the guy called to Hilde to call back ‘her boyfriend’, at this she got bright red and called Duo back. The guy gave him one of those little clipy things that you use when you mountain climb. As they walked off he clipped it onto his belt loop and said, smiling, ‘never know when you might need it!’ She couldn’t help but laugh. He was always making weird jokes like that.
They continued their random walking around and Duo saw those little glow-stick things that you chew on. He HAD to buy one. Hilde was barely able to keep from falling over with laughter when she saw Duo with his mouth glowing blue from the glow-stick. She couldn’t see what was so interesting to him about that thing. It gave her a few quick thoughts that she put from her mind. That’ll never happen, so why bother? She asked herself after one of the thoughts.
"Hey Hilde, you wanna chew on it for a while?" Duo asked pulling her from her thoughts, "or does the idea of chewing on something I’ve had in my mouth gross you out?"
"Sure, hand it over!" she said determined to show him she didn’t care about germs from his mouth. He took it out and handed it to her, which she quickly popped it into her mouth. He smiled with a small look of shock on his face.
BOOM!
The fireworks started.
"Hurry babe! Don’t wanna miss the fire show!" he said and slapped her butt to get her to move. She jumped and started to walk, startled by his actions. He’d started to treat her more like a girl then just a friend lately, but never quite that up front about it.
She turned to him and said, "Hey there! What was that for?"
"You weren’t moving and you should have been," he responded coolly, then with a little bit of a threat in his voice he said, "Next time I’ll flick your boob!" She laughed it off as being an idle threat thinking to herself, He would not!
As they made their way across the boardwalk to the other side of the lake he says, "I miss my glowstick."
"Well then get it back mister!" Hilde says jokingly.
"Nah, you wouldn’t let me. Or would bite me! And I’m not talking about using my hands to get it either…" he said slowly dropping of at the end, hoping she hadn’t heard him.
"Huh? Wha’dya mean?" Hilde asked confused and stopped.
"Think!" he laughed out surprised that she’d asked.
"Who says I would," Hilde replied coyly finally getting what Duo had implied. I know I wouldn’t! she thought.
This time Duo was the one who stopped. He looked at her in shock and she laughed out at it. She’s really quiet intoxicating, he thought, but did she really mean that?
"Here’s a good place to stand," Hilde said, "you can see the entire lake!"
"So can I have the glowstick back now?" Duo asked once they’d gotten out of the way of the people walking.
She stuck the end out of her mouth and said, "Come and get it!" And that he did. Her eyes went wide as she felt his mouth on hers, then his tongue swiping behind the glowstick. But the kiss didn’t end there, he explored her mouth and she didn’t stop him. She didn’t want to. Finally she kissed him back, letting her tongue slip into his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck. When the kiss ended she flushed red which Duo could barely see in the dark that was fast taking over. She turned away from Duo, still in his strong arms. Part of the reason was to see the fireworks the other was too let him see the blush on her cheeks. Please, God, tell me that wasn’t just a dream… her mind was screaming with joy.
"Can I have the glowstick now?" She found herself asking a minute later.
"Sure," Duo said with his voice deep and as smooth as silk. They kissed again just like before, but this time Hilde wasn’t as surprised and kissed him back. I’m in Heaven, she thought, I don’t want this moment it end… After that kiss Hilde leaned back into Duo’s embrace contently and felt a light touch to her neck. It was Duo. He was kissing her neck softly making his way up to her ear. Oh God, this is more than I could have ever hoped for, was all she could think as Duo was kissing her neck.
As the evening progressed Hilde became less and less tense, as they were walking to the car in the middle of the huge crowd they had to stop. There were too many people in front of them to move forward. Duo had his arms around Hilde’s waist, and he whispered into her ear, "May I touch your breasts?"
Hilde tensed up immediately and say with a shaky voice, "No."
"Please babe?" Duo coaxed," just once…"
"No…" she said. He could tell her resolve was melting.
He nibbled on her ear lightly, "Please…" this time Hilde just nodded reluctantly. His hand slowly moved up her chest. She took a quick breath as she felt his hand massaging and feeling her breast. She batted his hand away quickly. But he didn’t stop then, she felt another hand snake around her waist to the edge of her pants playing with them. She felt heated fingers run down her front almost to the black curls of hair… then they were there. Touching her. Right in the middle of a huge crowd. And no one seemed to notice, nor try and stop it. She pulled away instantly, but there was not anywhere to go. "Thank you," she heard him whisper into her ear, but it sounded far away to her. Even the ground beneath her feet felt as if it wasn’t there. It was all too far away…
That brings us to the present. It’s the day after my night of heaven, Hilde thinks with a sad smile on her face. It was 1 am and she was sitting in the shower alone and scarred. You know he doesn’t like you more than a friend and all he wanted was to make out, you know that! A voice in the back of her head screamed.
"No… no… you’re wrong…" Hilde muttered and broke down again. I feel like a slut, a big ugly slut! What would Daddy say if he knew? Daddy’s girl doesn’t get herself into this kind for trouble! She thought as she was crying and turned the shower up more to hide the sound of her tears.
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Duo chose that exact moment to walk by the shower. They shared a house; they had for two years now. He couldn’t sleep, he was worried about Hilde. She seemed detached when we were leaving, he thought to himself; Did I go to far? Nah, she said it was ok… sure didn’t act like it was…
It was then that he heard a sharp definite sob coming from the bathroom then the shower being turned up. It took him a second to realize what it was, but as soon as he did he felt even worse for his actions earlier that night. The only reason at first he agreed to move into the old house was because he’d liked Hilde. It quickly turned into love, but he was scared to tell her. Everyone else in his past that he’d loved had been killed. He didn’t want to see her die, so he took the safe route and never told her. He and his thick skull had never seen the love in her eyes. He had that night. He then had realized his worst nightmare and dream had become true. It was his worst nightmare because in his mind she’d die because of his love. Dream because in his heart he wanted to be loved, to be released from the solitary life he’d lead. He groaned and thought, I hate being 17 and not being able to control my hormones! Maybe if I had kept myself in check and this wouldn’t have happened. If only this! If only that! Those if only’s won’t get you anywhere Duo and you know it. You have to talk to her. Talk to the girl, she’s in there crying and confused. Help her! That’s all it took to get him knocking on the bathroom door and asking "Hey Hilde can I come in?"
Hilde instantly tensed up and forced herself to reply in a strong voice, "Duo can’t it wait? I’m taking a bath!" Inside her mind was screaming at her, He heard you crying, now all he’s going to give you nothing but pity! You hear me pity!! She quickly sank deeper into the water and wanted to stay there, but came back up to hear his reply "But Hild’ it’ll just take a second, please babe!"
He heard the shower curtain pulled into place as response. He’d learned quickly that she left the shower curtain open after he’d forgotten to knock before entering the bathroom. He apologized for a week after that, and it didn’t help the fact that every night he would dream about her. Now the dreams just held more true detail.
He slowly opened the door and peaked his head in. The mirrors were all fogged up from the hot water in the tub. Hilde glanced over at him from the small area left open for her to see him. Her hair was plastered to her face, her eyes red from crying, and an uncharacteristic look of distaste were all that Duo could see. Even through this look Duo thought that she was the most beautiful woman he had met. Sure he’d seen other girls, but none matched her elegance. She’d filled out sense he’d first met her, but you really couldn’t tell. She’d wear clothes that hid it. To hide that perfect body has got to be a sin, Duo thought as he stared at Hilde.
"Stop drooling and say what you wanted to say," Hilde quipped. She was getting annoyed but his just standing there and saying nothing. She wanted to go back to her wallowing.
Duo cringed. That had stung. "I just wanted to see if you were alright," he said trying to hide his own growing annoyance.
"Well I’m fine, now if you could please leave so that I may get out of the bath tub," she sighed. Duo was not one you could be openly mad at. His cheeks got bright red and he walked out of the room. She sighed again and dunked her head under one last time. Then got out of the tub and went to her room.
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"You, my dear friend, are the most reliable source on women in the entire colony! Well besides a woman, but that’s not my point," Duo said silkily to Quatre, "You’ve grown up around them, you know what to do and what not to do. So tell me did I do wrong?" He’d already explained the situation to Quatre and wanted to know from an expert’s opinion what he’d done to upset Hilde so much.
"You didn’t ask did you?" Quatre asked quietly as he drank his tea. He was trying to suppress the urge to beat the braided American down for his pure stupidity.
"Uh, no now that I think about it, I really didn’t…" the violet-eyed pilot whispered.
The cup handle shattered in his hand. "How could you not? What is wrong with you? ARE YOU INSANE?" Quatre got progressively louder and more filled with anger with each word, "What if she didn’t want that? Hmm? Ever stop to think how this will effect her? What do you know about her that tells you how she’s going to deal with it?" They both knew what exactly Quatre was talking about. She was going to leave.
Something had completely slipped Duo’s mind the night before. She hadn’t had a good life in Oz. Being one out of maybe 15 females on a military base hadn’t treated her too well. Her superiors had forced her to do acts she’d rather forget that admit. The only reason he knew was because he’d hear her crying at night, when his own nightmares were keeping him awake. He’d go in and comfort her enough to get to back to sleep. Sometimes he’d just sit next to her bed watching her sleep. She looked like an angel. So sweet, innocent, kind, and she was these things to Duo. Now I’m going to loose her, Duo’s mind screeched as he ran full speed home.
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"That’s it," she said sadly as she shut the trunk to her reconstructed 1969 Firebird. She ran her hand slowly over it’s glossy red coat that she insisted it have. She and Duo built this for her, after hours in the shop they’d work until 2 am on it. It was finally finished. With everything down to the giant bird painted on the hood. She’d grabbed everything she owned that she didn’t associate with Duo and shoved it into her car. That wasn’t really much. Some clothes, a few pictures of her once family, her laptop, and some cash. That was all she was taking with her. She’d called Quatre and he’d agreed to let her stay there in one of the many rooms in his huge estate. She just needed to get out. Away from Duo and his lies. She need not take up his time, that’s all she seemed to do anyway. That’s not the reason and you know it, a voice in Hilde’s mind called, you’re just scarred because of what happened before…
"Shuddup," Hilde muttered as she started up the car and drove away from everything she had ever hoped for.
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Hey Duo,
Your dinners for a week are in the fridge. Made all your favorites. Hope they are up to standard. I tried. Don’t expect me back. Don’t think I will be. Just know that if you don’t see me again that I love you.
Yours Truly
Hilde
Duo read the letter in silence. A single tear rolled down his cheek. Quatre had been right. She did leave, she’d never be back and worst of all she didn’t know how he felt about her. That was the killer, he hadn’t told her. How was she supposed to know? Wait… does that letter say that she loves me? Oh my God what have I done? No, what haven’t I done? Told her the truth that’s what, he continued to mentally batter himself over and over. He didn’t even notice where he was going until he got there. The only reason he did was that he could smell her all around him. The scent of her perfume, he was in her room. He lay on the bed and smelled her pillow. The scent of her hair drove him insane. He had to have her back, had to tell her how he felt. He would sooner except his own death than loose her for good. His resolve stiffened, he was going to find her. He had to. He’d die if he didn’t.
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~3 weeks later~
Heero watched closely the data lines running from the Winner estate and noticed a new computer login to the network. He tried to get in and see who it was on this strange machine. Then a virus struck. A screen with a small person waving a finger at him said ‘Now, now, now, what do we have here? A hacker? I don’t think so… computer will crash in 5…4…3…2…1…’ and the machine crashed. Heero stared with his normal calculating eyes at the dead computer. Only one person to his knowledge would be able to do that… and his best friend just happened to be looking for this person… But what is she doing here? He wondered, I knew she left, but this is not at all far from where Duo lives. Why didn’t we think to look here? Quatre is her friend just as much as he is Duo’s… maybe it’s about time I know what went on to got her to leave. I thought they were happy.
"I thought we were too man," Duo mumbled over a pb&j sandwich he’d fixed. That had been the majority of his diet sense she’d left. And take out. He was beyond a mess, the house was in complete disrepair.
"Were you two ever a ‘we’?" Quatre asked as he walked in the door. He was still mad at Duo, and he felt he had the right to be.
"Hello to you too," muttered Duo. He felt horrible about it. He’d never meant for her to leave. He let his head fall into his hands and he said, "I wish there was a way to get her back. I just…God I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I didn’t mean to drive her out. I love her, why couldn’t tell her…"
"I’d better leave," Heero said standing up from the chair he was in. He’d gotten all that he needed to show Hilde that Duo needed her back. Thank the Deity above for micro-video recorders. He left quickly making the excuse that he had work to do at the Preventers offices. He didn’t head there, but the ‘unused’ room at Quatre’s.
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"What are you doing here? How did you find me?" were the first things out of the raven-haired girl’s mouth when she saw the perfect solider standing out side her door. "Quatre said that no one would find me here. How did you?"
"Need to check your computer connection, and know when I check the network," Heero stated bluntly, his face showing none of the relief he was feeling for his best friend. He hoped secretly that this video of Duo would change her mind and bring her back to him. He could only hope.
He gave her the tape and told her to watch it. She let him in her room, neat and clean, like on one had ever even lived there. She flipped it over in her hands as if looking for clues as to what was on it. She stuck it into the VCR and it started playing. She sat down and by the end was crying, but muttered something that sounded like ‘…learned his lesson…’
"Heero, when was this?" Hilde asked quietly. She didn’t look up, just stared at her hands.
"He’s been like this sense three days after you left and he knew that you weren’t coming back," he stated simply. Heero was not one to avoid and use fancy words.
She looks up at the ceiling and sighed, "It took him three days to notice I was gone? How kind."
"It took him three to get out of denial and admit he’d do something wrong and he was sorry, but you weren’t there and he’s going insane without you there. I’m not entirely sure what happened, he won’t tell me. You were his world, can’t you see that?" Heero said with a twinge of sadness in his voice. It was the most she had every heard him say in one breath. She sat and took all this in. then made up her mind. She was going home.
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She, Heero and Quatre planned it beautifully. She was going to go home Sunday morning while Duo was at church, praying for her to come home and would start to clean the house. She’d avoid actually being seen, but when he wasn’t home and when he was asleep doing little things that only she would do and hope that he would catch her once. It’s take about a week she guessed for him to catch her. She could only hope that it’d be sooner. She didn’t expect it to happen Monday morning.
She’d cleaned most of the house in 2 hours and even made dinner with what she could find and left it on the stove for him to find. She heard him come in and stop. She assumed it was because the house was fairly clean and the smell of her cooking filled the air of the small house. She stayed in her room, because she knew Duo never went in there. At least that ‘s what Heero had told her.
At about 3:30 in the morning Duo made his usual trip to Hilde’s old room, he’d been doing this sense the day after she left. Except one night when Heero stayed over, he didn’t want Heero to know how bad it had gotten. And then earlier when the house was clean and that soup was on the stove. Only she would make soup that consisted of every edible left over in the freezer. He wasn’t even thinking as he sat next to the bed. As usual he saw her lying there on the bed, but for some reason this time it was different. More real, as though that was actually her laying asleep on the bed that had been empty for weeks. He walked slowly, quietly, cautiously towards the sleeping figure and lightly touched her hair. It was real. He fell to the ground next to the bed, thanking God that she was home and safe. He placed his chin on her bed and stayed there watching her until her clock went off later that morning.
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~6 Months later~
"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride," the priest concluded as he shut the Bible he was reading from. Duo lifts Hilde’s veil and looks at his wife, love, and angel on earth standing right there in front of him. His for now and ever. He thought back on what had happened before and the joy he’d felt when she’d come home. They made a promise right then and there that neither would ever leave again. Now they were married and the promise was more then just between friends. It was the happiest day of his life. He kissed his bride sweetly then carried her down the isle.
She couldn’t keep the huge smile off her face. Even when Duo picked her up and carried her. She was Mrs. Hilde Maxwell. She could barely believe this day could have ever come. She was, for the first time in her life, truly happy.
~Fin~
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