Legal stuff: I don't own Gundam Wing or the characters, they all belong to other people *sniff*. Don't sue me, okay?

PART ONE

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AC 199, Christmas Day
L2 Colony:

"Okay, you can open your eyes now!" said Duo Maxwell as he placed the present in Hilde Schbeiker's hands. "Merry Christmas!"

The petite brunette opened her tightly shut eyes and looked down. "Ooooh..." she sighed. "Oh Duo! How adorable!" she set the brightly coloured box down and lifted out its occupant - a tiny ginger kitten that mewed as Hilde hugged it.

Duo's mouth stretched into a wide grin as he watched Hilde. "The kitten isn't the only cute thing here!" he commented with a wink.

Hilde blushed and reaching out a hand she snagged his collar and drew him closer to her. "I love it... and I love you," she said softly and kissed him. Duo snaked his arms around her and responded with a follow-up kiss of his own.

They remained close, sitting in the living room under the tree that Duo had bought and Hilde had decorated, contented to be in each other's arms. Then two things happened. The kitten mewed in protest, causing them both to laugh and pull apart, and the front door opened. A young man with spiky brown hair and intense blue eyes walked in.

Duo looked up. "Heero!" he cried, getting to his feet and walking over to his friend. "We weren't expecting ya!"

"Obviously not," said Heero Yuy looking over at Hilde who was slightly flushed. "I can go..."

"Don't be stupid!" Duo grabbed Heero's arm and pulled him forward. "It's Christmas, he can join us, right Hildey? I got a present for you," he told Heero as they approached the tree.

"So did I," Hilde got to her feet. She held up the kitten. "Duo gave me him, isn't he cute?"

Heero looked at the kitten and his mouth twitched. "Very," was his only response.

"Sit down," ordered Duo. "I'll get you a drink and you can tell us where you've been for the past two months," he smirked. "You've been to see Relena I bet!"

Heero frowned. Hilde punched Duo lightly on the arm. "Don't tease him," she said. "Now go and get that drink!"

Duo mock-saluted her. "Yes ma'am, right away ma'am!"

He disappeared into the kitchen and Hilde sat down by Heero. She released her hold on the kitten and let it stand freely on her knees. It wobbled, then steadied itself and sniffed at Heero. His mouth twitched again and he lifted his hand slightly so that the kitten could sniff it.

"He likes you!" Hilde smiled.

Heero gently stroked the top of the kitten's head with his forefinger.

"Have you been keeping yourself alright?" Hilde asked him.

"Yes."

"So you've been working?"

Heero sighed. Sometimes Hilde could be more persistent than Duo. "I did some work for the Preventers," he said referring to the group that both he and Duo occasionally worked for. "Then I went and saw Quatre."

Hilde grinned. "How is he?"

"Busy."

"Duo and I haven't talked to him for ages," said Hilde with a small sigh. "It's been so busy lately. In fact, Duo has a long job to do soon, it's a two month stint with some of the other Sweepers out in space," Hilde shook her head. "Funny, I should be used to his absences, but sometimes it's hard..."

The kitten yawned in the silence that followed and settling down on Hilde's leg it started to purr. Heero continued to stroke it.

"I did see Relena," he said abruptly. "But only in passing, she was at a political forum."

Hilde laid a hand on Heero's arm. He looked up at her and she smiled gently. "Relena is an important person," she said. "But I'm sure she misses you."

"Oi Hilde!" Duo came back into the living room carrying a tray of drinks. "The oven's beeping."

"Oh!" Hilde got to her feet, dumping the offended kitten onto Heero. "Look after him, okay? I've gotta go and check on the turkey, looks like we'll be eating soon!" she brushed past Duo. "You _are_ staying for dinner, Heero." she said over her shoulder as she went into the kitchen.

Duo laughed as he set Heero's drink down. "You do realize that was order I hope!"

Heero leaned forward carefully so as not to further disturb the kitten that had settled on his lap and picked up his drink. "I know."

Duo went over to the stereo and selected some music, and then he came back and took the seat beside Heero that Hilde had vacated.

"Hey," he said. "Did Hilde tell you about my job?"

"Yes," Heero sipped his drink. "I can stay and help with the business," he offered.

Duo grinned. "Just what I was going to ask! Man, it's been wild lately; if it keeps up Hilde'd go mad trying to look after the business by herself. As long as you don't mind?"

"No."

Duo leaned back. "Well, that's one thing off my mind," he commented lazily.

They sat in silence for a while. Heero felt a bit concerned, it wasn't like Duo to be quiet for a long stretch. It was a relief when Duo did speak.

"Heero," he looked over at his friend, his violet eyes serious. "Do you want to be my best man?"

Heero blinked and stared at Duo. "Nani?"

Duo shrugged. "Of course, this is all assuming that Hilde wants to get married."

"You haven't asked her?"

"I'm going to," explained Duo. "When I get back. I've been thinking about it for a while, I think I'm ready to settle down with Hilde."

"You're only nineteen," Heero pointed out.

"So? We were only fifteen when we were given the Gundams and sent out to fight!" Duo shook his head. "No, I want to have a normal life now, and I can have it with Hilde."

Before Heero could respond, Hilde came out of the kitchen. "Dinner's ready!" she sang out.

Duo leapt to his feet. "Food at last!"

Ten minutes later they were all seated at the table, large helpings of turkey and vegetables on their plates. Hilde raised her glass of champagne.

"*Achem* A toast!" she said brightly. "To Christmas 199 and the New Year!"

Duo and Heero raised their glasses. Duo was smiling at Hilde, Heero's mouth had stretched, just a fraction, into a half-smile.

"Let's hope that 200 is even better that 199," said Duo looking into Hilde's eyes.

She saw his affection for her there and smiled. "I'm sure it will be."

***
Two months later:

"Meeeerrrow!" the little kitten scampered across the room and crashed into his owner's legs.

Hilde giggled and looked down at her tiny cat that was purring and winding around her legs.

"What are you doing, AJ?" she teased him. "I can't believe that you're so big already! Hasn't he grown, Heero?" she threw the question at the other occupant of the dining room.

Heero Yuy frowned and continued to examine the microchips in front of him. "Ah," was his response to Hilde.

"And you're so affectionate too!" Hilde knelt down and played with the kitten. "Duo's going to be jealous, right Heero?"

"Ah."

Hilde looked up at the young man who frequently boarded with her and her partner Duo Maxwell. He was totally focused on his work. Hilde smirked.

"There are pink elephants running around the house, aren't there Heero?"

"A…" Heero looked up and glared at her.

Hilde laughed. "I'm sorry Heero, am I chattering too much? I'm just so excited that Duo will be back tomorrow!"

Heero put the microchips down and regarded her. "I can see that," he said briefly. "And he will be happy to see you, and AJ again," he added.

Hilde smiled at him. "Heero, thanks for staying with me, you've been really helpful these last two months, especially as business been so busy this!"

Heero shrugged, but then his head shot up and he glared at the door. Hilde followed his gaze. "Is someone coming?" she asked.

There was a firm rap at the door. Hilde moved to open it, but she was hampered by AJ, so Heero got to it first.

Two of Duo's Sweeper friends stood there, their faces somber. Heero's eyes narrowed. "Duo?" he asked.

They nodded and Hilde, eyes very wide, came to the door holding AJ in her arms.

"What's happened to Duo?" she asked, her tone going a bit shrill.

Heero put his hands on her shoulders and drew her back. "Sit down," he said.

"But…"

"Sit down," Heero's tone forbade argument. Swallowing, Hilde turned and walked over to the couch where she sat down, holding AJ tightly. The kitten squirmed in her arms and she put him down on the floor. Heero and the two men came over; Heero sat down on the couch next to Hilde and regarded the two men who sat opposite them.

The first Sweeper, a man named Bryson, cleared his throat. "Miss Hilde… I'm sorry," he began.

Hilde moaned softly. "No," she whispered. Heero glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, but motioned for Bryson to continue.

Bryson hesitated, so the other man, Gerrard, took over. "It was just a freak accident," he said. "Everything was going smoothly until someone noticed the leakage," he paused and looked down at his hands. "Maxwell was in the engine room with four others… they didn't get out in time…"

"The shuttle…"

"Stop it! Stop it!" Hilde put her hands over her ears and doubled over as tears coursed down her cheeks. "You're LYING!!! Duo is not… I won't… he can't…" she swiveled around and grabbed Heero's arm. "Heero… it's not true…"
Heero gently pried her fingers from their deathgrip on his arm. His blue eyes were bright, but otherwise he remained expressionless.

Bryson coughed. "We found… no… uh… remains when we went to investigate the site, there were no other survivors, all we had to go on was their last transmission and some security footage."

"Did you search the surrounding area?" Heero questioned.

Gerrard nodded. "But we found nothing."

"Then you didn't search hard enough!" flashed Hilde. "There is a ton of space junk in that area that could've hidden him! He's alive! Damnit, if you won't do it, I'll go myself!" she tried to rise, but Heero held her down.

"Hilde…"

"Let me go!!" Hilde stumbled and collapsed back on the couch "Oh God, this can't be happening," she sobbed and covering her face in her hands she began to cry.

Bryson and Gerrard fidgeted on their seats, obviously upset by Hilde's sobs. Heero put his arm around Hilde and drew her head onto his shoulder. He jerked his head at the two men.

"Just go."

After they had left, Heero held Hilde and let her cry herself into exhaustion. He stared straight-ahead and heard Duo's voice in his head. He remembered Duo's words to him two years ago, when Heero started boarding regularly with Duo and Hilde.

*"Heero, if ever something happened to me, like I was killed or something… would you… look after Hilde? I mean, make sure she's okay and stuff… I know I can trust you. Will ya?"

Heero looked into his friend's violet eyes. "Yes, I will."*

Heero looked down at Hilde. *I will look after her, Duo.*

***

Relena Darlian looked around the interior of the church. *I can't believe this has happened, I can hardly believe I'm _here_,* she thought sadly, *I never imagine this could happen, Duo was so... alive...*

She trod softly down the aisle until she reached the ones occupied by the former Gundam pilots and Hilde. Relena drew in her breath sharply when she saw Hilde. The formally cheerful young woman was pale and silent. She had always been very slim, but now she was almost emaciated and looked ready to blow away in a strong wind. Beside her was Heero, who was holding Hilde's hand.

Beside Heero were Trowa Barton and his sister Catherine. Catherine smiled weakly at Relena and patted the seat beside her. Relena smiled at the older woman and sat down.

"Relena," Catherine said. "Good to see you, although I wish it was under other circumstances."

"I'm glad I could make it," Relena murmured to Catherine. "Sometimes I don't think politicians are supposed to have friends."

"Well, I'm sure you gave them a talking to if they tried to make you miss this," said Catherine.

Relena nodded and drew closer to Catherine. "Is Hilde… oh, I can see she's not 'alright', but…"

Catherine shook her head. "She's been like a zombie for the past three weeks, I've been round frequently to help and she just seems to get worse. If Heero wasn't there…" Catherine left her words hanging.

Relena sighed. "At least he is there, and I know he will do what he can to help Hilde. Duo was his best friend after all."

"I think Heero is the only one who can help her," said Catherine sadly. She pointed to Quatre who was next to Hilde, his face full of pain. "Even Quatre, who she was good friends with can't pull her out."

"I see that Wufei and Sally were able to make it," added Relena noting the Chinese man and his partner beside Quatre.

"Sally has been very good," said Catherine. "She's so calm and practical, she helped Heero organize this."

Relena glanced again at Heero. She half-hoped that he would look up and see her, but he remained focused on Hilde. Relena sighed, and turned her attention to the front as Duo's memorial service began.

***

Relena managed to get a few words alone with Heero after the service. She knew that the young man she loved was suffering from Duo's death, but she was also aware that Heero would not like this fact to be aired. So, Relena decided to stick to the relatively safe subject of Hilde.

"Will you be staying with her, Heero?" she asked. "Until she gets back on her feet?'

Heero glanced over at Hilde who was sitting in a corner, clutching AJ, with Sally beside her. "I will stay as long as she needs me," he said. He turned back and gazed into Relena's eyes. "As long as it takes."

Relena squashed the selfish whine of the once spoilt girl she had been that came to her lips, *Why are you devoting so much to Hilde? You never do this for me!* She bit her lip. "If there's anything I can do…" she began.

"I'll let you know," said Heero, he paused. "Actually, perhaps you could talk to Hilde."

Relena nodded. "I'll try," she said although she was unsure if she would be helpful. Relena followed Heero through the crowd and wished that she had kept in touch with Hilde. They had become good friends after the battle with White Fang and up until the Mariemaya incident, but Relena had been so busy since then that it had been hard to keep in touch.

Hilde was staring blankly when Heero and Relena approached her. Sally moved aside and let Relena sit next to Hilde.

Relena swallowed. "Hilde... I... I just want you to know that if you need anything just let me know, okay?"

Hilde blinked. She turned her head and looked at Relena. Her blue eyes were swollen from tears and there was a lost look in them. "Relena..."

Relena smiled tremulously. "Hilde, please don't shut yourself away from your friends!" she pleaded. "It doesn't help you..."

Hilde's brows drew together. "Don't tell me what to do!" she snapped suddenly. "I _don't_ need that! I am NOT one of your worshippers Miss Relena ex-Queen of the World Darlian!"

Relena recoiled. "Hilde... I didn't mean..."

"Just leave me alone!" Hilde cried, tears starting to spill down her face. She leapt to her feet, dumping the kitten onto the floor, and fled the room.

Relena looked stricken, but Sally moved closer and laid a hand on Relena's shoulder. "Don't feel bad," she said. "It's actually better that she _is_ reacting," Sally looked at Heero. "But go and check on her Heero, just so that she doesn't do anything rash."

Heero nodded and followed after Hilde; leaving the room without so much as a backward glance at Relena.

Relena twisted her hands together. "Some diplomat I am!" she said bitterly. "I can't even find the right words to help Hilde!"

"It's always hard," said Sally gently. "Saying 'I'm sorry' or 'I know how you feel' always sounds so trite, yet they're the only words that spring readily to mind."

"Maybe," said Relena, she stared after Heero. "Will Hilde be alright?"

"If she didn't have Heero helping her I'd be alot more concerned," confessed Sally. She glanced down at Relena. "I know how you feel about Heero, Relena, but don't begrudge his help to Hilde right now."

Relena flushed. "I know, it's just..."

"It's hard to be generous," Sally smiled. "Love is a very selfish emotion," she pressed Relena's shoulder. "Don't worry, things will turn out, you'll see... maybe not in the way you expect, but I'm sure things will be okay."

"I hope so Sally," Relena smiled weakly at her. "Thank you."

***
5 months later:

Turning slightly in her bed, Hilde slowly opened her eyes and stared into the darkness. She frowned and turned her head to look at the bedside clock.

*5am?* Hilde blinked. *What kind of time is that to wake up?*

She closed her eyes, but memories stopped her from reclaiming sleep. Jumbled memories of the past five months, blurred and flickering they filtered through her mind.

She remembered and wished she could forget...

Lashing out at Relena and Relena's shocked unhappy expression.

People visiting... Catherine, Trowa and Quatre... and her abuse of their sympathy.

Sally examining her and being screamed at for it.

And then there was Heero...

Hilde drew in a sharp breath and sat up. She swallowed a sob and drew her knees to her chest and clasped them tightly.

Heero had been looking after her for the past months, protecting her from her grief when he must be grieving himself. Hilde recalled the first terrible day and Heero holding her until she cried herself dry. Heero forcing her to eat and drink. Heero waiting by her bed until she collapsed into a sleep of exhaustion and pills.

Hilde dug her fingernails into her flesh as one particular event surfaced. She had been in the kitchen, mechanically chopping vegetables when she cut her forefinger. She had stared at the blood in fascination and then moved the knife until it hovered over her wrist. She wondered how long it would be until she faded into oblivion.

Then... Heero's hand came down and pulled the knife away. He shook her, his normally expressionless face twisted with anger; he told her not to be an idiot and pushed her out of the kitchen.

Hilde's lips curved into a slight smile. She then remembered Heero banning her from the kitchen and removing all sharp objects from her bedroom and the bathroom. He had even said that if she even _looked_ like she was contemplating suicide he would come into the shower _with_ her!

"What would I have done without him?" Hilde wondered aloud. "How can I thank him?"

She shook her head and slipped out of bed. There was no time like the present. Quietly she opened her door and softly tiptoed out. She hesitated at Heero's door, but then rallied herself and opened it.

"What is it, Hilde?" Heero's quiet voice came out of the darkness.

"GYAH!!" Hilde almost jumped eight feet straight up. "I thought you were asleep!"

"I was," Hilde heard Heero move out of the bed. "But I heard you moving."

Hilde blinked. "Do you have supersonic hearing or something?"

"No," Heero leaned over and flicked on the bedside light. The lamp cast a golden glow on him and Hilde saw a glimmer of concern in his eyes. "Why are you up?"

She walked into the room. "I just woke," she said. "And I realized that I've been walking in a fog for the past few months since..." her throat tightened and she choked. "Since... Duo..." *No, no! Please no, I don't want to cry anymore!* Hilde's eyes began to fill and she swallowed violently.

Heero was instantly beside her, steadying her as her body shook with her effort to keep control. He pulled her into his arms and held her, head on his chest, until she was calm.

Hilde breathed deeply and was vaguely aware that once she would have been very embarrassed to be held so by anyone other than Duo, but now she just felt comforted. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I'm a mess and it's not fair to you, Heero. You've been really good to me, but I don't want to tie you to me!"

"No one is making me stay," said Heero.

She lifted her head and looked at him. "But you should leave, you're not responsible for me!"

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked looking down at her.

Hilde opened her mouth to say yes, but instead she said, "No."

Heero nodded. "Then I won't go."

Hilde pulled away from him and smiled. "Well, then... thank you." she felt both guilty and relieved.

"Go back to sleep," said Heero.

"I'll try," said Hilde. She went to the door and paused. "Heero?"

"Yes Hilde?"

"I'm sorry for being such a burden these past months, I didn't realize I was so emotional..." Hilde laughed sadly. "But I won't tune out anymore, it won't bring _him_ back."

Heero regarded her steadily. "No."

Hilde breathed in deeply and let it out with a sigh. "Well, I'm not going to be a burden anymore! From today on I'm going to get my life back together!" she tilted her head. "Don't worry, I'm fine now."

"That's... good," said Heero slowly. It was obvious he didn't believe her.

"Sleep well, Heero," said Hilde and she left.

Heero turned and went back to his bed. He switched off the light and listened carefully. He heard Hilde open her door and the soft pat pat of her feet. A creak indicated that she was in bed and he closed his eyes.

Duo's face flickered through his mind and Heero turned restlessly. Odd, he never thought that he would miss Duo or that he would care so much that Hilde was alright. It seemed that the most important mission in his life now was to return Hilde's sparkle and smile... because that was all he could do for Duo now.

***

[Authors note: its never fully explained if the house Duo and Hilde live in is Hilde's or Duo's. The work they take up with the Sweepers in the TV series is the work that Duo was doing before he became a Gundam pilot. I can see ownership of the business and the house going either way, and for the purposes of this story I have made Duo the owner.]

***

Heero opened his eyes and became aware of a weight on his hip. He was puzzled for all of one second and then realized it was the cat. Heero carefully raised his head and regarded the young ginger cat that was comfortably snoozing across his body. This was becoming a habitual thing, since Hilde was incapable of looking after the cat; AJ had ended up adopting Heero. Of course, Heero was still unsure if this was a _good_ thing...

He lay back down and listened to the sounds within the house. AJ's purring, the clatter of pots in the kitchen...

Heero sat up, abruptly dislodging AJ who yowled in protest.

Someone was in the kitchen.

He and Hilde were the only people in the house.

_He_ wasn't in the kitchen.

So that meant...

Heero vaulted out of bed and ran out of his room. He pounded into the kitchen and brought himself to an abrupt halt at the door.

Hilde looked up from the stove where she was frying something. "Good morning Heero," she said with a smile. "Breakfast will be ready soon."

Heero attempted to pull himself together. "Breakfast?" he said lamely.

Hilde nodded. "Yeah, I woke up half an hour ago and decided to make French toast for both of us!" she looked at Heero and shook her head. "Heero... I'm not going to pick up a knife and stab myself in the heart, I swear!"

Heero stiffened. "I didn't say..."

"But you were _thinking_ it!" Hilde interrupted. She waved her spatula at him reprovingly. "I know I've been a hopeless case for the past five months, but I meant what I said last night!" she said vehemently. "I refuse to be a living zombie! _He_ wouldn't want me to act like that anyway!"

Heero noted the way that Hilde avoided saying Duo's name, but he couldn't help but be relieved that she had pulled herself out of the dark hole she'd been in.

Hilde turned her attention back to the frying pan. "Could you put some plates out?" she asked. "This will be done and after we've eaten this, I'll make lots of waffles, okay?"

Heero pulled plates out of a cupboard. "Can you eat all that?"

Hilde looked at him and blinked. "Ah... maybe, just a couple then..." she bit her lip. "I forgot that not everyone has a big appetite like..."

Heero put the plates on the table and regarded Hilde who was staring into space. "The toast will burn," he said harshly.

Hilde jumped and looked down. "Ack! Sorry!" she removed the pan and turned off the stove. She shook herself slightly and smiled at Heero. "All done!"

For the past five months Heero had eaten breakfast in silence. Hilde would either stare into space or eat half-heartedly and Heero couldn't think of anything to say that would break the silence - not that he was the type to talk alot anyway. However, today was an abrupt change.

Hilde deposited two pieces of toast in front of him and then served herself. Just as she was about to sit down, AJ came into the kitchen and announced that he was hungry with a penetrating meow.

Hilde stared blankly at the cat for a minute, then she smiled. "AJ! Oh, I've been neglecting you haven't I?" she looked at Heero. "Have you been looking after him too?"

"Yes," said Heero. "He likes to sleep on my bed," he added.

Hilde laughed. "I see... well, cats are born opportunists!"

Once AJ had been fed, Heero and Hilde attended to their breakfast. Heero ate quickly and finished long before Hilde.

"Was it good?" Hilde asked anxiously. "I was worried that I might be a bit out of practice."

"It was good," Heero assured her. In fact it had been _very_ good. He had taken over the cooking duties since Hilde's suicide attempt in the kitchen, but he was well aware that his cooking skills were poor next to Hilde's. She had a knack for making even the most plain food taste good Heero remembered how much Duo would enthuse over Hilde's cooking.

"That's a relief," said Hilde as she polished off her toast. "Now, onto business..." she regarded Heero with a serious look that almost matched his own. "I take it that you've been handling the business?"

Heero nodded. "It's been doing well," he said.

"But?" Hilde pressed.

Heero was slightly startled that Hilde had picked up on the hint of trouble in his voice. He paused, not sure whether his news wouldn't depress her further.

"Heero, _tell_ me!" Hilde insisted as the silence grew.

"But," said Heero. "I am not regarded in the same light as Duo was and many of his contacts have been avoiding me."

Hilde frowned. She could understand some of the reluctance of the Sweepers, Duo had been one of them for a long time and he had the knack of talking and bargaining with them. Heero on the other hand, was a harder person to get to know and his serious demeanor didn't invite friendly overtures. Hilde wondered how she could show the other Sweepers that Heero... she paused her thoughts... but then again, did _she_ want to continue the business? After all, she had only started working with the Sweepers because Duo was and it had seemed natural to continue after the war was over. Did she plan on being a Sweeper for the rest of her life?

Heero waited while Hilde sat deep in thought. He didn't know what she was deciding, but somehow he sensed it would decide the direction of Hilde's life from now on. Heero made a promise to himself and Duo's spirit that whatever she did he would be there for her.

***
One Week later,
Earth:

"Vice-Minister Darlian?"

Relena turned from her political secretary as the receptionist spoke up behind her. "Yes?" she asked.

"There is a call for you, on the secured line," the young woman told her.

Relena blinked. "Right," she said. "I'm sorry Hokuto," she smiled at her secretary. "I'll get back to you about that speech this afternoon."

Hokuto bowed. "Thank you Miss Darlian."

Relena went into her office and sat at her desk. She activated the communicator... and almost fell off her chair in surprise when Heero's face filled the screen.
Swallowing her surprise, Relena leaned forward and smiled at him. "Heero..." she said softly quelling the skips her heart was making. "I haven't heard from you in a long time, how are you?"

"Fine," said Heero, he looked a little impatient.

Relena realized that this wasn't merely a social call and sat up a little straighter. "Is something the matter?" she asked. "Is Hilde...?"

Heero was pushed to one side and Hilde smiled at Relena. "Hi Relena," she said.

Relena noticed that Hilde's smile, although bright, did not quite reach her eyes. "Hello Hilde," she said. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yes, and I want to apologize for my _terrible_ behaviour!" said Hilde. "I'm amazed you can actually speak to me!"

Relena laughed slightly. "That's alright, really! Now, what can I do for you?" her eyes sort Heero's again.

"A place on Earth," said Heero briefly.

Relena's eyes widened. "A place...?" she asked baffled - after all, there were lots of 'places' on Earth. She hazarded a guess. "You mean a house?"

Hilde shot Heero a slightly exasperated glance. "Yeah, he means a house. I've basically decided that I don't..." she bit her lower lip. "I don't want to be on L2 anymore," she looked at Relena almost pleadingly. "So many memories... I need somewhere different... you understand?"

Relena nodded. "Yes," she said softly. "I understand, but are you sure, Hilde?"

"Yes... no... maybe," Hilde shrugged. "Heero suggested Earth and I thought 'why not'? It's a chance to start afresh anyway..."

Relena looked back at Heero. "And you will be coming too, Heero?"

"Yes," there was a note of finality in his voice.

"Well, I'll see what I can do," Relena said. "Have you thought about what occupation you'll do?"

Hilde shrugged. "Not really, Heero's a bit annoyed about that," she shot Heero a teasing smile to which he didn't respond. "But the sale of the business brought in alot of cash, so..."

"You _sold_ the business??" Relena squeaked unable to conceal her astonishment.

Hilde's chin came up defiantly. "And why not?" she challenged. "I made a decision and I didn't want to linger over it."

"Hilde, I'm not trying to talk you out of anything," Relena hastened to reassure her. "It just all seems a bit sudden."

Hilde's expression softened. "I know, sorry," she mumbled. "I just want to get it over with..." she looked as if she was going to cry all of a sudden.

Heero put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her off-screen. "We plan to be down in two weeks," he told Relena.

She nodded. "I'll help," she promised. "In anyway I can, Heero." She met his eyes and smiled into them.

"I know," he said meeting her gaze with a solemn look and then he disconnected.

Relena sat, staring at the blank screen for quite some time. Then she sighed and turned away. *Heero... why do I feel like I've lost you when I was never really sure if I had you?*

***
Two Weeks later,
L2 Colony:

Heero lay in bed, one hand gently stroking AJ's head, and listened to Hilde in the next bedroom trying to conceal her crying.

Heero sighed and shifted restlessly. He knew she was trying _not_ to disturb him and if he went in she would probably only be more upset, but...

Heero sat up and frowned. Hilde wasn't going to stop anytime soon and he couldn't just continue to lie down and listen to her suffering. He swung out of bed and walked softly out of his room to Hilde's door.

He stood there, still frowning, trying to determine his best course of action. Also going through his mind, as it had so many times in the past months, was the thought that four years ago he would've left Hilde alone. Heero shook his head, looking after Relena was much simpler; he had never felt that he _had_ to hold her and comfort her as much as he did with Hilde. For someone like Heero who avoided the human touch the whole experience was disconcerting... but then again... if Heero was brutally honest with himself he felt more human now than he ever had. It was as if Duo had started him down the road and now he was gone Hilde was completing the journey with him.

A harsh sob from Hilde startled Heero out of his reflections and he opened the door.

Hilde lifted her head from her pillow and choked as he walked in. "H-heero?" she gasped in surprise. She sat up and stared at him.

Silently Heero crossed over to her bed and flicked on the bedside lamp. Hilde blinked; adjusting her sight to the light while Heero looked down at her. Hilde's face was puffy and tear-streaked and her eyes were red-rimmed, Heero started to have bad flashbacks to the early days after Duo's death.

"I heard you," he said.

Hilde sniffled and looked contrite. "I tried not to... but it just started and I... I couldn't stop..."

"Is it Duo?"

Hilde gulped. "N-no... Not quite. It's alot of things," she bit her lower lip. "I guess it just hit me, that I'm leaving I mean. L2 has been my home all my life and I met Duo here," tears trickled down her cheek. "I just felt so sad about leaving..." she ducked her head. "Sorry."

Heero put a hand under her chin and forced her head up so she met his eyes. "You don't have to leave," he said patiently.

Hilde smiled sadly. "Yes I do," she whispered. "Because I'm just not strong enough to live here anymore," she sighed. "I wish I was stronger..."

"Wanting to starting anew isn't a weakness," Heero told her.

Hilde thought on that for a moment. "Maybe not," she agreed reluctantly, she twisted something between her fingers and Heero glanced at it.

With a slight growl he plucked Duo's old black cap from her. "_This_ is not going to help!" he said irritably.

Hilde flushed. "I found it when I was packing things up today," she confessed.

Heero swore mentally at himself for missing the cap. He had packed up Duo's belongings while Hilde had been in her dazed fog, not wanting her to be further upset by things that would bring up memories.

"Duo's not the only reason, huh?" he muttered. "You're a liar Hilde..."

Hilde sighed. "I know, I'm a hopeless case," she said. "Heero... you know you don't have to come to Earth with me, I know you're only staying with me because you feel obligated to." she shrugged. "I'll be okay, really."

Heero leaned forward. "I don't stay anywhere I don't want to be," he said firmly. "I will come with you to Earth and I _will_ stay with you."

Hilde half-laughed and half-cried at that statement. "I don't have a choice do I?"

Heero straightened. "No," he said sternly.

Hilde smiled properly. "Alright Heero, you win this round, now go to bed," she told him. "We're going to be busy tomorrow," seeing him hesitate she pushed at him. "Go on, I won't cry anymore... over leaving or Duo's clothing, I promise!"

Heero stepped back and surprised her and himself by smiling back at her...

***
One month later,
Earth:

"Hello!" Relena stood on the doorstep of Heero and Hilde's new house and peered down the corridor. Mostly all she could see were piles of boxes and wrapping paper and Hilde's cat snoozing on a bunch of newsprint in the sun. "Hilde? Heero?"

"Relena!" Hilde ran down the steps and leapt over several boxes to reach the elegantly dressed blond woman. "Why didn't you call? I wasn't expecting to see you!"

"Sorry," said Relena as she stepped inside, carefully avoiding the mess. "My meeting finished earlier than expected and since I was in this part of town I thought I'd drop by... I can leave if it's inconvenient though."

"No," Hilde smiled at her. "Not at all! It's good to see you, we haven't managed to exchange three words since Heero and I got here, you've been so busy." she threw some boxes out of Relena's way. "It's just that the computers arrived today, at the same time as the rest of my stuff from L2. Heero, of course, has been totally obsessed with uploading the software and fiddling around with it, while I've been attending to the other stuff!"

Relena laughed and followed Hilde into the living room. Heero was seated by three computers, his laptop connected to all of them, fiercely concentrating.

"Heero!" Hilde called. "Relena's here!"

Heero frowned and glanced up. His look plainly said he resented the interruption, but he quickly saved his work and put the laptop down to come over to the two women.

Relena smiled. "Well, it looks like you are really getting started for this data security business. Are the computers good? The company was highly recommended to me."

Heero nodded. "They're alright."

"Which means they're very good in Heero-speak," said Hilde. She turfed some paper off a chair and brushed it down. "This is all I can offer you at the moment, Relena," she said ruefully. "But I can get you a drink!"

"Thank you Hilde," said Relena sitting down.

Hilde shot Heero a significant glance and picked her way across the floor to the kitchen. Relena saw the glance and coloured faintly. Hilde could be very unsubtle sometimes...

The silence stretched between them. Relena had never been fond of small talk and it was possible that Heero didn't even know what casual conversation was.

"So how is Hilde doing?" Relena asked eventually.

"Better."

"But still not quite right?"

"No."

Relena sighed. "Well, I guess at least she seems to like it here and that's a good start."

"Yes," said Heero glossing over Hilde's frequent bouts of tears and her occasional dark moods. If Hilde wanted to confide in Relena that was her choice, Heero was not going to be the one to reveal things.

"How long are you planning to stay?" Relena asked. "Until the business is running smoothly? Or," and her voice faltered a little. "Longer? Until Hilde is completely over Duo?"

Heero said nothing; he just looked at her. Relena examined his face, trying to see something that would indicate that he felt something towards her other than his belief that she was his icon of peace. But as usual, Heero's eyes remained unreadable and Relena suspected, with a heavy sadness, at this point unreachable.

Relena suddenly felt she couldn't bear it any longer. She got to her feet and smiled tremulously at Heero. "Tell Hilde I'm sorry, but I forgot I have a... another meeting, I have to go..." she walked, carefully, out of the room.

As she reached the door she thought she heard Heero say her name. Feeling hopeful Relena turned back to face him.

"Heero...?"

"I'm sorry, Relena," he said quietly.

Relena drew in a shuddering breath. "Yes, I understand," she said. *I understand that you _can't_ leave, it's not like you to leave something unfinished, whether it's a mission or someone's shattered life, I understand that much Heero...*

She smiled. "I'll see you later then," and then she left.

Heero stared after her and tried to sort out his feelings. He looked at Relena and saw in her the future of humanity, but whether his future was also with her wasn't clear... not that it had ever been. Heero was aware that his understanding of 'love' was limited and confused.

"Where's Relena?" Hilde came out holding a drink in her hand.

"She left," said Heero, he moved back to the computers and reactivated his laptop.

"_Left_?" Hilde shot him an exasperated look and put the drink down. "Heero... How are you and Relena _ever_ going to get anywhere at this rate?"

"Stop pushing Relena at me!" Heero snapped.

Hilde blinked at his tone. "But I..." she paused. "Sorry... I didn't mean to do that, I just thought that you wanted..."

"No."

Hilde sighed. "Okay then... if that's how you feel..."

"Hilde? Heero?" a new voice echoed through the house.

"Sally!" Hilde popped her head out of the door. "And Wufei too..."

"What _is_ this mess?" grumbled Wufei entering the room.

"Wufei," Heero acknowledged him.

Wufei nodded and trod carefully over to him. "I've brought the Preventers files for your test run," he said. "Although I thought you'd be up and running by now!"

"The computers were delivered late..." Hilde started to explain but was stopped by Sally's hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry, Hilde," she said. "Wufei isn't happy unless he's complaining about _something_!"

"Woman!" Wufei glared at Sally.

She ignored him. "Hilde, can we leave the boys here for a while and have a little talk?"

"You mean a check up don't you, Dr Po!"

Sally grinned. "Basically."

Hilde and Sally went upstairs to Hilde's room where Sally did a quick physical examination of Hilde.

"Well, you look alot better," said Sally finally. "I take it you're eating more and not taking the sleeping tablets?"

Hilde nodded. "I still get the occasional bad dream," she admitted. "But it's not as bad as before."

Sally nodded. "That's good," her eyes narrowed and she looked sharply at Hilde. "But something _is_ bothering you."

Hilde told Sally about Relena's visit and what had happened.

"I feel like I'm responsible for them not getting together," she said. "Heero is devoting all this time to _me_ when he could be with Relena!"

Sally leaned against the wall. "Hilde, I think you're being oversensitive here. Heero never indicated that he loves Relena the same way you loved Duo," she smiled at the confused young woman. "There are many different _types_ of love and not all of them involve getting married!"

Hilde flushed. "I know, but..."

"Also, have you considered this? Heero probably needs you as much as you need him," said Sally. "In his way he loved Duo too, from what I could tell they were very close friends - even if Heero would never admit it. Looking after you is probably Heero's way of dealing with _his_ grief."

Hilde considered this. "You think so?"

"It's a good possibility," said Sally. "Of course, we don't know for sure unless Heero tells us."

Hilde smiled. "Trying to get Heero to talk about his emotions is like trying to extract emotions from a Mobile Doll!"

Sally laughed. "Well, you just think about what I said," she suggested. "And don't dwell on feelings of guilt and remorse, that's not going to help you heal!"

Sally left to see how Wufei was doing; Hilde lingered in her room letting Sally's words replay in her mind. Then she went over to her bedside table and opened a drawer. Picking out the photo inside she stared at it.

The photo was of Duo, taken the Christmas of 199, he was raising a glass of champagne and he was looking at the camera with his famous mischievous grin on his face.

Hilde sighed. "Duo... it's odd, but... I still hurt when I say your name," she touched the photo gently. "But it's not so bad now, more like a throbbing ache than something sharp like glass stabbing me all over. I guess I am getting along without you..."

She smiled suddenly. "I loved you and I guess a part of me will always love you, but I'm moving on now, I feel bad, but... can you forgive me for that?"

"He will."

Hilde dropped the photo in surprise when Heero spoke up behind her. She turned and flushed. "Uh... don't you ever knock?"

Heero bent and picked up the photo. "Duo would want you to be happy," he said placing the photo in her hands. "Don't feel guilty."

Hilde nodded. She remembered Sally's words. "The same goes for you, Heero."

He looked startled, but then dipped his head in agreement. "Yes." his features softened as he smiled slightly.

They looked at each other for some time, both aware of a feeling of harmony in feeling. Then the spell was broken as Wufei called up the stairs, querying their whereabouts.

Both Heero and Hilde blinked. Heero snapped back into his serious mode and Hilde hurriedly put Duo's photo away.

"I came to see if you wanted to have a look at the programs," said Heero.

"Ah... yes, yes definitely," Hilde followed him out. For some reason that she couldn't define she felt relieved and wanted to strangle Wufei at the same time.

***
Five months later:

Heero pushed open the door and shut it quietly behind him. He shrugged off his coat and hung it on a peg beside Hilde's.

As he brushed the snow off his coat he reflected on how oddly comforting it was to be back. He'd only been away for two weeks, working on installing some new software which required him to be on site, but during those two weeks Heero became aware that he _missed_ things.

Home... this home had been in his mind alot. That and...

Hilde.

Heero frowned. _That_ had been a surprise. Missing Hilde. Missing her talk, her smile, her breakfasts (the cook on site was just _terrible_) and the way she anticipated things he needed. He missed sitting by the fire, AJ stretched across his lap, listening to Hilde talk about things... not just business matters, anything she fancied mentioning to him in her laughing voice.

Heero had also reached another conclusion. Hilde didn't need him anymore. She no longer cried at night, or woke at strange hours after a terrible dream. The sparkle Duo's death had robbed her of was back. But she wasn't exactly like the old Hilde, there was a poise about her, maturity that only experience can bring.

Heero walked down the corridor, mulling his thoughts over. He opened the door to the living room and walked inside.

Hilde had her back to him and was working intently on her computer. Her short back hair was mussed and she was dressed very casually in leggings and a large sweatshirt. AJ was lolling at her feet, but he mewed when Heero entered.

Hilde turned to see what AJ was looking at and her eyes went very wide.

"Heero!" she leapt to her feet and launched herself at him. Heero caught her as she barreled into him, flinging her arms around his neck. "Heero! You're back! Oh, it's so _good_ to see you!"

Heero was a little astonished by her enthusiastic welcome, but a warm feeling spread through his body and he found himself hugging her back.

Hilde had missed him, by the looks of it almost as much as he had missed her. He pulled back and looked down at her. She smiled up at him and he found himself taken aback at the realization that she was very, very important to him. Unconsciously his arms tightened around her.

Hilde blinked. Her initial feelings of simple relief and pleasure at seeing him again were replaced by nervousness as she looked into his face. His eyes looked intently down into hers and she almost felt she was drowning. A shiver ran up her spine.

Suddenly the telephone shrilled and they both leapt apart and eyed each other nervously. Heero picked up the phone and Relena appeared on the screen.

"Heero!" she said happily. "I heard you got back today, how did the job go?"

"Fine," said Heero. He looked at Relena's face and tried to sort out what had just happened. Hilde watched him, her eyes anxious.

"I'm glad," said Relena, then she frowned in concern. "Is something the matter, Heero?"

"No," Heero's tone was very, very neutral.

"Well, I just wanted to say welcome back," said Relena, she sounded a little unsure. "And... I'll see you and Hilde... uh... soon?"

"Yes, goodbye," Heero put down the phone.

"That was a bit abrupt," said Hilde in the silence that followed.

Heero stood by the phone and regarded Hilde. For so long he had protected Relena, even back when her death would have been an advantage, he had watched over her. There was a bond between them, but over the years it had stretched very thin, weakened by her job and his reluctance to allow his feelings to bind him to her. He had wondered if his feelings for Relena were love, because surely, if he loved her he would want to be with her all the time? Looking at Hilde, Heero was very much aware that it was _Hilde_ he wanted to be with, Relena was someone important and keeping her safe was something he had charged himself with, but Hilde was the one now stirring his emotionless heart into life.

Hilde's eyes flickered as Heero stared at her. Relena's face seemed to her to hang between them and Hilde felt an odd, terrible sense of guilt, as if she was betraying her friend.

"Heero, I'm sorry," she said suddenly. "I didn't mean to fling myself at you like that."

Heero blinked. "Hilde..."

"And I just realized something," Hilde continued on recklessly, aware that if she didn't speak now, something was going to happen. Something that both she and Heero could regret. "You've been with me for nearly a year and I'm okay now, so you really don't need to stay here out of a sense of obligation to Duo, and..." her throat constricted and she swallowed. "You should probably call Relena back and..."

"_Why_ do you keep trying to push me at Relena?" Heero interrupted her harshly.

Hilde dropped her eyes and stared at the floor. "You... love her... don't you?" she asked in a very quiet voice.

Heero drew in a deep breath and exhaled sharply. "I thought that I did," he said equally as quietly. "But I don't think so."

Hilde lifted her head and stared at him in confusion. "I don't understand..."

"Relena is important," said Heero, struggling to make Hilde understand what he was only now just beginning to comprehend. "Important to a lot of people, she is... hope and peace... and I want to protect that."

Hilde frowned." So... you don't love her, but she is important?" she shook her head. "Ah... I don't get it, but... still, what I was _trying_ to say is that you should leave." she bit her lip and looked away from him.

Heero walked over to Hilde and stood in front of her. "Do you really want me to leave, Hilde?" he asked her.

Hilde ducked her head. "Heero... I don't want you to tie your life to looking after me because of some supposed debt to Duo. I'm _okay_ now, I'm capable of being on my own!"

Heero put his hands on her shoulders. "Look at me," he commanded. "Look at me and tell me that you want me to go," *And if you do, I'll leave now, forever, if you _want_ me to*

Hilde looked up at him and her eyes were filled with tears. "Damnit Heero, why are you making this so hard?" she choked. "No, I _don't_ want you to go! Are you happy now?!" she cried, a tear trickling down. "I want you to stay!"

Heero touched her damp cheek. "Then I'll stay," he said feeling as if everything was now perfect in his world. "Not out of an obligation, but..."

He bent his head and kissed her very gently on the mouth, letting his actions speak for him. Hilde leaned into the kiss, letting the love for Heero that had been slowly building in her out. Silently she asked Duo to forgive her and laid his ghost to rest in her heart.

Kimi Part Two

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