Heero sensed her more than heard her. She was very quiet, but he was a professional. He put down the book he was reading and watched her stand in the doorframe. She didn't look like herself. She had a wicked little smirk on her face that put him on guard. He was about to get up from the couch when she got down onto her hands and knees and began to crawl slowly across the floor towards him.

"Relena?"

She didn't respond, instead she crawled right up to him and began to rub her cheek against his leg. She placed both her hands on his knees but kept her head low. Slowly she slid her hands up until she encircled his waist and her head was in his lap. She nuzzled his stomach a little while making soft humming or moaning sounds in her throat. It was hard for him to tell.

"Relena what are you doing?"

Again she ignored his question. Instead she pushed herself up so that she could rest her head on his shoulder. She licked his neck and then blew on it for a minute before turning her head and looking him right in the eyes. He could see that she wasn't playing. Her eyes didn't hold humor or anything gentle. They held something else entirely: desire, lust and passion.

Leaning forward her cheek touched his and she whispered, "I'm going to suck you dry."

He pulled back quickly and banged his head on the wall. "Relena are you out of your mind? We can't..."

He stopped at the sound of his pants zipper being pulled down. He didn't even notice when her head dropped out of sight instead he focused on the warm fingers that guided his penis out of the flap in the front of his underpants. In his mind he formulated an argument to convince her to stop, but the feel of her hot, wet mouth on the tip of his penis made the words in his throat come out as one deep moan. Heero closed his eyes and leaned his head on the couch's back as Relena licked up and down his shaft. She gently pinched his balls and then wrapped one hand around the length of his shaft as she opened her mouth and formed a seal over the head of his penis. She began to suck and stroke and soon felt Heero's hands in her hair, pushing her forward to take in more.

Suddenly gunshots erupted in the house! Relena bit down slightly, but managed to keep her jaw open while Heero howled in misery.

"Heero I'm sorry!" She cried as she pulled back to look at his face.

His perfect solider mask was in place, but his eyes reflected a bit of hurt and sorrow as he looked at his fading erection."It's okay, but I have to find out what's going on. Stay here Relena!" He said as he shoved his penis back into his underwear, zipped his fly and stood up. He tried to sprint to the door, but never made it, as something held him back.

Relena screamed in pain as her hair was yanked viciously.She was on her hands and knees, and found that she couldn't raise her head up.

"Heero what's going on I thought, I heard Relena..." Duo stopped mid sentence and broke out into hysterical laughter. He would've given anything to have a camera right now. Standing within the door to the rec room he saw Heero in an almost James Bond pose, gun held ready, but instead of Heero's cold glare facing him down, his stoic friend was looking down at his crouch where a line of golden hair ran from his zipper to Relena's head. She was on her hands and knees, whimpering in pain.

"Heero you have to unzip your pants." She said.

"Fine, Duo turn around." Heero commanded as he placed his gun back in his shoulder harness and tried to unzip his pants. Unfortunately Relena's hair was tangled rather badly in the zipper and he when he tried to pull it down, Relena cried out.

"Stop it, you're going to pull my hair out!"

"Well damnit Relena, what do you want me to do?"

"You just need to carefully work the hair out of the zipper."

"We don't have time for that."

"No you don't." Heero and Relena stopped their bickering when they heard the cold, unfamilar voice coming from the doorway. They looked down and saw Duo sprawled out on the floor, alive but unconcious. "Miss Dorlain come with me."

"She's not going anywhere." Heero said as he stared at the man standing in the doorway. He knew that if the circumstances were different, he would have no problems taking this guy out, but he had harnessed his gun and his mobility was severely limited with Relena currently attached to his pants. The situation frustrated him, but not as much as the smile that kept tugging at the corner of his captive's mouth.

"Well given the circumstances I would say that you're right. Mr. Yuy, please don't take this the wrong way, but would you remove your pants?"

"I would, but we've already tried that and it didn't work. I guess you'll just have to take the both of us."

The man with the gun shook his head. "No, I think that you're going to have to yank harder on that zipper of yours."

"I can't, that would hurt Relena."

"She'll survive. Do it!"

Heero growled but did as instructed, silently apologizing to Relena. He yanked his zipper down, but Relena's hair didn't come out.

"Try it again!"

Heero looked at Relena. She was holding her head in obvious pain, but not making any protests. He tried unzipping his pants carefully, but hair was everywhere. He knew he was only making the situation worse. "I think that we're going to have to cut your hair Relena."

"What?" Relena's face was a mask of horror, not that anyone could tell. Her hair was in a thick curtain that nearly touched the floor. "Just let me try it Heero." She said as she crawled forward and began to play with his zipper.

"Hurry it up or I'll come over there and rip the hair out of your head myself!" Their captor yelled impatiently. It was an empty threat though, he knew better than to get within an arm's reach of Heero Yuy.

"This is so humiliating. I'm sorry that I got you into this situation Heero." Relena said as she worked the zipper. She knew that she'd never live this down and probably Heero would never tell her another one of his sexual fantasies again.

"Don't worry about it Relena. I've got some dirt on Duo that I've been holding onto for just such an occasion and this guy won't live to tell anyone what he saw here today." Heero said with a cold glare towards the man in the doorway.

"Brave words Mr. Yuy but I can kill you right now, if I wanted to. Hey what are you doing?" The man said as he noticed that Relena was slipping her hand into Heero's open zipper. "My God you're a real slut aren't you?"

Relena turned her head sharply to glare at the man, but this just caused her to wince in pain, so she gritted her teeth and explained. "I'm trying to pull the hair through from the other side."

Heero said nothing, his jaw was clamped tight as he trained himself on their captor and ignored Relena's exploring fingers. He felt her work her way down to the inside of his thigh where he had strapped a small throwing knife. He wondered what her plan was, since she was a pacifist and surely wouldn't use the knife herself.

The man with the gun was getting impatient."Are you almost done? I really don't have time for this. You," he motioned to Heero. "take off your pants. I'm sorry Miss Dorlain but you're just going to have to walk around with his pants hanging from your head."

"What?! I can't do that! Please just give me a little more time." Relena turned to the man and gave him her best puppy dog eyes, but of course he couldn't see anything other than a wall of hair.

"No! Time's up minister. Yuy take off your pants or I'll shoot you both!" The man aimed his gun at Relena's head and Heero stiffened. He looked down and saw that Relena had removed her hand from his pants and was holding the knife in her closed fist. He yanked on his zipper and winced slightly as he saw Relena's face contort in pain for a brief second. He then let go of his waistband. It fell to his knees, being held up only by Relena's hair. She bent her head to the ground until the waistband touched the floor, allowing Heero to kick off his shoes and step out of his pants.

"Yuy put your hands above your head and Dorlain grab his gun." They both did as they were told. "Good, now come here." Relena walked over to her captor holding Heero's gun. She still had the throwing knife as well, knowing Heero had other weapons that he could get to if he needed them.

"Now Yuy turn around." Heero faced the wall, wondering if the man was really going to shoot him in the back. He didn't. Instead he whipped the handle of his gun across the back of Heero's skull, sending him to the ground unconcious. The man grabbed Relena's elbow and began to lead her down the hall. She couldn't tell where though because Heero's pants were obstructing her view.

They walked outside and he pushed her towards a helicopter. With the wind being generated from the coptor's rotating blades, Relena's hair and Heero's pants were whipping around her head so furiously that she fell the ground and covered her head in fear. The man beside her grabbed her by the back of her shirt and tried to pull her up. The first couple of buttons on the front of her shirt popped off and she had foregone wearing a bra in anticipation of her afternoon with Heero. When the man succeeded on getting Relena to her feet, he nearly fell over at the sight of her breasts falling out of her blouse. Several other terrorists turned to gaze at the former Queen.

That distraction was all Heero needed. He ran out of the mansion and began to fire at the surrounding terrorists. He even hit the pilot through the helicoptor's windshield. However Relena's captor used her as a shield. With her blouse and his pants flapping in the wind, Heero couldn't get a clear shot. He watched as the pair approached the helicoptor. When they got close to the open door one of the legs on Heero's pants, got caught up in the helicoptor's blades and pulled the pants up, along with Relena's head. She screamed in pain and tried to yank her hair out of the pants' zipper. It wasn't working.

Relena's captor ducked behind her and into the helicoptor. He shut the door and hurried to the controls. Heero ran towards Relena who had tears streaming down her face. She looked like a vision from hell. With a heavy heart, she took the knife in her hand and cut at her hair until the pants were sucked up into the helicoptor's blades. Heero pushed her to the ground and tried to latch unto one of the coptor's runners but Relena clutched at him.

"Let him go Heero, you'll get yourself killed!"

"No Relena, I can't let him get away."

"Heero get down!" Duo's voice barely reached them from across lawn. But somehow Heero heard him and turned in time to see Duo run out of the house in his skull and bones boxer shorts, sporting a bazooka on his shoulder. The Deathscythe pilot kneeled on the ground and took aim at the helicoptor, then pulled the trigger and yelped in delight when the helicoptor exploded in a ball of fire. Heero shielded Relena from the falling debris. When he stood up he had the presence of mind to stand between Relena and Duo, giving her a chance to arrange her blouse in the most concealing way possible. Feeling the pilot of Deathsycthe's eyes on him, he looked up and blushed slightly.

"I didn't think you'd wake up so soon."

"Un-huh."

"Here's your gun." Heero handed Duo the gun he had found lying beneath the unconcious pilot.

"Thanks, but aren't you forgetting something."

Heero frowned, but kicked off his shoes, unzipped his pants and handed them to Duo. "Sorry about that."

Duo took his pants and slid them back over his boxers. "Hey don't worry about it. I can see why you don't want anyone seeing you running around in those things." Duo pointed towards Heero's underpants.

"It's not what you think. They are official issue, part of the dress uniform."

"Riigghht. Well I'll go put this baby back and call some clean up people in here. You two look like you could use some down time." Duo carried the bazooka back into the house and not soon afterwards Heero and Relena followed him in.

No one noticed the terrorist next to the rose bush, who Heero had shot in the right lung. He gasped and blinked fending off death for just a few minutes more. His mission had failed and now he would die. The sheild of the Cinq Kingdom would be the last image he'd ever see. Branded into his mind as he watched Heero Yuy guide Relena Dorlain into thier home, the fabric bearing the sheild rippled as Yuy walked, tucked neatly belong the words 'Property of the Cinq Kingdom' printed on the waistband of his underpants.

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