There was something that Hilde Schbeicher had wanted to do for some time now.
It crept up on her at odd moments, like when Duo was standing on a ladder, handing her things from a top shelf, or when she braided his hair after he washed it. She had found herself daydreaming about it at odd moments -- no, even fantasizing about it. She wanted to do it. She wanted to do it bad.
She wanted to trim Duo's hair.
However, she knew for sure that he would NOT go in for that idea. He'd told her quietly once why he kept it long, and after she'd finished sobbing over his terrible childhood and had been...comforted by him, she'd vowed never to even think about taking scissors to that glorious mass of chestnut tresses. But no matter how healthy the hair, it will eventually develop split ends, and Duo's hair had recently done just that. And she was going mad. She hated the idea of trimming it, but everyone knows that split ends will eventually split all the way to the root, and then Duo would *really* have to cut his hair. Better to get it out of the way now, while one inch or two would suffice. It'd grow back in no time. Even so, Duo would not take kindly to the idea.
So, Hilde had formulated several plans of attack.

Approach 1: The Direct Approach

Duo and Hilde were sitting at the breakfast table. Duo happened to be a much better cook than she was, and he had made her his specialty -- French toast, made just right, with lots of sweet maple syrup and hot butter. As she chowed down, he read the morning paper and occasionally popped a piece of toast in his mouth. Hilde made general comments to him, and he simply "hmmm'd" in that fashion that most females across the universe would recognize immediately as the male "I'm hmmming to make you think I'm paying attention but I'm really not." She was growing more and more exasperated as he refused to pay attention to her, even when she started saying she heard that Sally was pregnant by Wu-fei and they were expecting quadruplets (a whopper there; there had been a rumour that Sally was expecting, but Sally herself had squelched it quickly, explaining that it would scare her Wu-chan off.)
Finally, she touched his foot with her own and then ran it up his leg, pausing to kneed just above his calf with her bare toes.
That got his attention, as planned. She silently thanked whatever scientist had discovered that the back of the knees were an erogenous zone.
"Duo, I need to trim your hair," she said casually, continuing to kneed his calf with her toes.
He stared at her for a moment, blinking in completely silence. She met his steady gaze unflinchingly. Then he burst out laughing.
Hilde felt her face grow red. He thought she was joking! She dropped her foot and glowered at him.
"I'm serious, Duo. You've got split ends. It's driving me nuts." He winked at her, and tickled her foot with his own before going back to his paper.
"No. Absolutely not."
Darn, Hilde thought, and munched on another piece of toast. Well, perhaps asking him point blank was just stupid. Onto plan B.

Approach 2: The Sneak Attack

That afternoon, as they were closing up the junk yard for the day, Hilde and Duo went through their usual routine. She called off a checklist of things that needed to be taken care of, and he responded with an affirmative or negative. Negatives had to be taken care of right away, to make sure they didn't skip something. She'd just add one little thing in there... and then she'd have him.
"Marked off today's sales in the inventory?" she called to Duo, her pencil poised above the clipboard.
"Yep."
"Added new purchases to the inventory?"
"Yep."
"Properly tagged and sorted new purchases?"
"Finishing that up right now."
"Good. Trimmed your hair?"
There was silence for a moment.
"Nice try, Hildey."
Curses! Foiled again. Hilde snapped her pencil in half in frustration.
Now it was time to play dirty.

Approach 3: Sleep Attack

Hilde tip-toed to Duo's room, the scissors held carefully, pointy ends down, like she'd been told was safest (you never knew if you were going to fall, and stabbing yourself to death is a stupid way to die.) She wore her usual rumpled flannel pajamas, but had decided to forego slippers in favor of silence and maneuverability.
She opened his door as quietly as possible, wincing when it squeaked. She then tiptoed over to where Duo lay, sleeping peacefully. He looked so angelic when he slept, a thousand times removed from the God of Death he proclaimed himself to be during their waking hours. She couldn't resist lightly touching his nose before reaching behind his head to pull out out his braid, which was tucked neatly under the covers.
She had forgotten one thing -- Duo had to be the lightest sleeper in the whole world. His hand shot out and caught her wrist before she had even touched his braid. He opened one eye lazily and just stared at her.
Caught red-handed, Hilde thought unhappily.
"Gee, Hilde," Duo said sleepily. "If you wanted to spend the night with me, why didn't you just say so?" Duo had the nerve to smirk at her. She wisely dropped the scissors onto the soft rug on the floor and didn't resist as Duo pulled her onto the bed next to him. But she still had a few ideas left. She'd get his hair trimmed if was the last thing she did.
Er, tomorrow, though...

Approach Four: The Secret Attack

Duo was standing on the ladder in the shop, noisily sorting through large sheets of aluminum, looking for a particular item that a customer had requested. When he was on the ladder, his feet were about her shoulder height, and his braid swished a few inches above her head. She held the scissors in her right hand, and stared, fascinated at her room mate's hair.
It was just enchanting, watching that braid twitch as he moved. She had only to reach up and...
"Don't even think about it, Hildey."
Or maybe not.

Approach Five: When All Else Fails, Use Sex

Hilde had had enough. No more Miss Nice Room Mate.
She surveyed her preparations critically. She had slipped on a short satin nightie, made of a filmy silver lame that hugged her scant curves and emphasized her slender legs and graceful neck. There was a chair in the middle of their living room, and she had about a dozen silver scarves next to it. Most importantly, she had attached the cute pair of silver wings she'd made for Halloween that year, and she had dusted her hair and face with silver powder. She had a tiny pair of manicure scissors hidden in a huge wand, festooned liberally with silver and gold ribbons.
Duo came in from the shop, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her. She gave him a very feline smile as she recognized his discomfiture. She sidled sensually across the living room towards him.
"Hildey," he said softly, his voice cracking slightly, "what are you doing?"
"I'm a bondage fairy," she said, and twirled daintily, the silver nightie belling out at a scandalous length. "You like?"
His eyebrows shot up. "Bondage fairy? Are you trying to do the dominatrix thing again, Hildey-babe?"
She grinned even more cattily, and grabbed a silver scarf from the floor. She tapped his head lightly with the magic wand, and twined the scarf around his neck. "Bondage fairy," she purred into his ear, and dragged him over to the chair by the scarf. "Just let me... take care of you."
Duo didn't argue as she tied him to the chair, occasionally kissing him. What sane guy would? She whispered wicked things to him as she tied up his legs, feet, and elbows, until he was completely immobile, and completely at her mercy.
She had him.
Snip, snip.
"Oh god, Hilde, no, you didn't..." Duo struggled to escape, but she had tied him up good and tight.
She held up two inches of chestnut hair for him to see. "Noooooooooo!"
"Oh, come off it Duo, it was only little bit. And just look at how damaged those ends were. It's not like you're Samson or anything. Two inches didn't kill you."
"But... but Hilde... to a guy, two inches can mean... the world!" Duo looked as though he were about to cry. "And you tricked me." "You should've been expecting it! And, look, I'll go... I'll go bury this outside. Throwing it away seems too undignified for something like this." She tossed on a bathrobe and went outside to do just that, leaving Duo still tied up. She wanted to do a victory dance. She'd done it! Score yet another one for sex appeal.
She started to bury the innocent little lock of hair, but then changed her mind, and went back inside to the kitchen, where she put a rubber band around it and tucked it in a small baggy. She hid it in the back of one of her dresser drawers, where Duo would never look.
And then she went back out to the living room, where poor Duo was still struggling to escape his bonds.
"Oh, no you don't," Hilde said with a smirk of her own. Duo gave her a haggard look, but she refused to be intimidated by his puppy dog eyes.
She knelt down in front of him. "Look, I apologize, but I had to do it, Duo. You don't understand what those split ends were doing to me. How about... I make up for it?"
Duo recognized the half pleading tone in her voice and decided to forgive her. He couldn't stay mad at her for very long anyway. She made such a cute bondage fairy...
And she had a very nice way of apologizing, too, Duo decided afterward.

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