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"Relena Dorlain?" Relena hesitated at the strange voice. She wasn't supposed to be here. She knew that she was going to get read the riot act from Heero, but she just had to get away and have some alone time. Now she was in a public place and someone had recognized her. She hated moments like this. She silently wished that whoever it was would settle for an autograph and leave.

"Yes, can I help you?"

"Miss Dorlain, I'm a photographer. I was wondering if I could take your picture. It would mean a lot to me. I admire you so much as so many people do." He was a young man, about thirty years old, but still good looking and he seemed sincere. One picture couldn't hurt, she just didn't want it to draw any more attention to her.

"Umm I guess one picture won't hurt." Relena straightened her spine and looked directly at the man waiting for him to take her picture. He held up the camera and began to play with all the little nobs.

"I don't suppose I can get you to smile for me. You're such a beautiful young woman, it would really make the picture sing."

Relena blushed slightly and smiled at the camera. She was a bit of a sucker for flattery.

"Thanks a lot. I know this is going to be one of my favorites. I hope you don't mind if I use it in one of my exhibitions. I don't know if I mentioned it before but I am a professional photographer."

Relena frowned at that. "Oh well I don't know about that. I'm not really in a suit or anything."

"I know that's what makes the photo so great. It's a side of Relena Dorlain that the public doesn't get to see."

"Yes well I don't want the public to see that side of me. I have worked hard to maintain a professional demeanor and image..."


"I understand. I can't display anything publically without your written consent anyway, and I don't have a copy on me. So why don't I stop by in a couple of days at your office and show you the picture? If you think that it is inappropriate then I'll keep it as part of my private collection, but if you like it then you can sign the consent form and I'll use it in my next exhibition."

"Well that sounds fair."

"Great here's my card. I'll stop by soon and show you the finished product. It won't take more than five minutes of your time." The man handed Relena his card and then waved good-bye.

THREE DAYS LATER

Relena sighed in frustration. Her meeting that morning was a nightmare. A new colony was petitioning for enterance into ESUN. The new colony's delegation included a technical engineer who talked for over forty-five minutes on the structural integrity of smelt iron vs. iron alloy. Relena and several other ministers were completely lost and totally bored. It was a huge waste of time and time was something that she never seemed to have enough of.

When her secretary buzzed her letting her know that Mr. Takashi was here to see her about a consent form she actually smiled at the opportunity of getting her mind off of work for a few minutes. She remembered the photographer mainly because she had gone to school with a boy by the same name.

"Send him in Janice."

"Miss Dorlain, thank you so much for seeing me. I promise not to take up too much of your time." The young man extended his hand in greeting.

"That's fine, I wouldn't mind a little break. So how did your picture come out?"

The man smiled widely and opened the folder he was carrying. "Quite well, I was very pleased, but here, judge for yourself." He said as he extracted the photo and handed it to her.

Relena looked over the image. It was a nice photo. She looked like any average young woman. He had caught her with her eyes cast down and a small smile playing on her lips. The blush on her cheeks was slight but it gave her a definite air of innocence. She liked the photo, but still wasn't sure if it was something that she should let other people see. She valued her private life so much that she was very uncertain about letting anyone catch even a glimpse of it.

"It's very nice."

"Will you sign the consent form then? I think that this photo could really help my career." Mr. Takashi looked at her with such hope in his eyes that Relena decided to sign the form. It was such a little thing to do, she'd probably never see the photo again anyway.

THREE WEEKS LATER

"The ambassador of Papua New Guinea called, four new magazines called: George, Vogue, Home and Garden and Seventeen, and Playboy called again."

Relena took the messages from her secretary. She couldn't believe it. That would make it a total of 22 magazines, 17 freelance photographers and 7 filmmakers. Mr. Takashi's photo was a huge success. He had gotten a book deal and 'Relena at Peace' along with the rest of his photos were on a worldwide tour.

She was quite pleased with the publicity she had recieved as well. Although she didn't like being treated as a celebrity, she was being treated more kindly by the press. She was even considering doing some kind of interview in one of these magazines to show everyone that she wasn't some kind of saint, just a normal person.

She didn't want to appear in any kind of glamour magazine, that wasn't the image she wanted to project, but maybe some kind of housekeeping magazine. Home and Garden sounded nice, but despite what everybody thought, she didn't live in a royal palace surrounded by gardens. She lived on the top floor of the Sanc Kingdom's Academy for the Students of Pacifism. It was much larger than an apartment. She did have a butler after all, but it was still modest. In fact compared to the Winner mansion, it was practically a dorm room.

Relena flipped through her messages. There was one from a magazine called Penthouse. Technically she lived in a penthouse. This was perfect. She would let them come over and shoot her home and then give them a small interview. Then everyone would see just how down to earth she really was. Relena smiled and dialed the number.

"Hello, Tom Seaver speaking."

"Hello Mr. Seaver this is Relena Dorlain speaking. I recieved a message from you about appearing in your publication. Are you still interested in interviewing me?"

"Yes! Absolutely. I didn't think you'd call back. I must say that I assumed from your persona that you wouldn't be into something like Penthouse."

"Oh lots of people make that mistake. I'm not the pampered princess everyone thinks I am."

"No, I guess not."

"So about the interview..."

"Yes the interview, well we can do it over the phone or we can wait until you come in for the photo shoot."

"Come in? Wouldn't you be coming over to my place?"

Relena heard a sputtering sound coming from on the other end of the phone. "Sure if you want. Whatever's convenient for you."

Relena crinkled her brow in confusion but dismissed it and continued on. "Well of course I will have to have my maid Rosa clean everything before your arrival, but I actually have a free weekend coming up. So how about this Sat.?"

"Saturday is fine by me. But don't you want to talk about a fee?"

"Oh I'm not doing this for the money. You can just donate whatever the average wage is to a charity on my behalf."

The silence on the other end of the phone was almost deafening. "If you're not doing this for the money, then why...?"

"I just want to change my public image." Relena replied.

"Well, I can guarantee you no one will look at you the same after this."

"Great that's just what I wanted to hear. I expect to see you Sat. at 10 am."

"I'll be there and thank you Miss Dorlain. I can't wait to photograph you."

"You mean my house." Relena said, but it was too late. Mr. Seaver had already hung up the phone.

'How odd.' Thought Relena as she hung up.

THREE HOURS LATER

"All done, thanks for waiting." Heero didn't comment, he just held the door open for Relena as they headed out to dinner.

"So is everyone there?"

"Yes, even Wufei came. I honestly didn't expect him to show up."

"Are you sure you want me there Heero? I mean isn't this get together supposed to be just you and the other gundam pilots."

"No, Duo was going to bring Hilde, but she couldn't come because Duo Jr. got strep throat. Wufei might bring Sally. I don't know if they are on again or off again right now."

When they got to the restaurant everyone was waiting for them. It turned out Wufei and Sally were off again because the chinese pilot was stag and in a foul mood.

After hugging Duo and Quatre, Relena took her seat beside Heero and the small talk began.

"I saw that picture of you on Newsweek Relena. It's definitely a departure for you."

Relena blushed. "It was really just a fluke, but I've gotten such great publicity from it, that I decided to go ahead and do a magazine interview."

"You what? Relena why didn't you tell me about this." Heero looked unhappy and slightly angry.

"Well I just scheduled the appointment for the interview this afternoon."

Heero still looked pissed, but Duo spoke up before he could say anything. "So which magazine are you going to be in?" Duo asked.

"Penthouse."

"WHAT?!" Duo's eyes bugged out.

"RELENA! Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND?" Heero's face actually turned a dark crimson. The fork in his hand began to bend.

Trowa's mouth wouldn't close and the coffee he was drinking began to drip down his chin onto the table. Wufei just raised an eyebrow at her.

"That sounds nice Relena. I think you have a beautiful home." Quatre said, wondering why everyone was acting so oddly.

"Quatre you idiot, Penthouse isn't a magazine on people's homes." Duo chided.

"What do you mean?" Relena began to get nervous. "Of course it is. It features people's penthouses, right?"

Wufei snorted and smirked. Quatre looked confused and Trowa began to dab his chin with a napkin. Duo's eyes were still bugging out of his head and Heero just shook his head.

"No Relena, it doesn't feature people's penthouses." Heero looked her in the eyes. "You didn't sign anything with this magazine did you?"

"No I just talked to a photographer on the phone. Heero, what does Penthouse magazine feature?"

Heero's eyes darted to wall. "Well..." Heero blushed slightly. Heero never blushed and Relena got even more nervous.

"It's a girly magazine Relena. It features naked women." Duo said as he laughed at Heero's discomfort.

"Oh god..." Relena felt all the heat rise to her face and threw her hands up in embarrassment. She had a strong desire to climb under the table.

"It's okay Relena, if you didn't sign a contract, then you aren't obligated to do anything." Heero put his arm around her shoulders, trying to comfort her.

"I disagree Heero. If she made a verbal agreement than she should stick by her word." Wufei said. He eyed Relena, curious as to whether the real thing would match up with his fantasies.

Heero glared at Wufei. Relena pulled her hands away from her face and looked like she was going to cry. "Oh I couldn't, I just couldn't. It's not my fault. Why does their magazine have such a misleading name?" Relena's embarrassment was turning into anger.

"Don't worry Relena, no one blames you. I thought it sounded like a nice magazine." Quatre patted her hand reassuringly.

"A nice magazine. My god Quatre! I knew you were green, but come on. Penthouse has been around for centuries. How is it possible that neither you nor Relena have ever heard of it?" Duo asked.

"Not everyone has your deviant tastes Duo."

"Hey don't pull that holier than thou crap with me Yuy, If I recall you still have some of my deviant magazines in your possession."

Relena turned to Heero who just glared at Duo. "Is that true, Heero?"

"I like to read the articles." He replied, ignoring the chuckles coming from the other pilots, "They are very well-written."

"Oh." Relena turned back to Duo and smiled.

Duo just leaned back and rolled his eyes wondering how anyone could be so gullible.

"So you're not going to do it? You're going to go back on your word?" Wufei asked. His tone implying his disapproval.

"Of course she's not going to do it." Heero continued to glare at Wufei. He always suspected that Wufei had a crush on Relena. She was a strong woman just like Sally Po but she was younger and prettier.

"Well, if you explain it to the Penthouse people, I'm sure they'll understand. It was an honest mistake." Quatre offered.

"No way Quatre. Those rags are as underhanded as they come. If Relena backs out they'll go to the press and drag her good name through the mud. They might even sue for breach of contract. Was your phone conversation recorded?" Duo asked as he downed some breadsticks.

"I...I don't know. Can they do that? Can they sue me Heero?" Relena was chewing on her lower lip furiously and her eyes held unspilled tears.

"Of course not. A phone conversation isn't binding and if they did record you, then it won't be hard for one of us to break in and get the tape. You've got nothing to worry about Relena. Tomorrow I'll visit this photographer personally." When Heero said this, Relena relaxed. A visit from Heero was not going to be pleasant, but it would be effective.

THIRTEEN HOURS LATER

Heero looked through Tom Seaver's office, but couldn't find any audio tapes. Mr. Seaver was gone. Apparently he was conducting a shoot a couple of floors below. Content that there was nothing in the photographer's office that could embarrass Relena, he waited.

THIRTEEN MINUTES LATER
The door to Tom Seaver's office opened and a 17 year old boy walked him. He was immediately greeted by a gun being pushed up into his ribs.

"Don't scream." A cold, deadly voice said as a hand reached over and pushed the door shut. "Are you Tom Seaver."

The scared young man shook his head.

"Where is he?"

"He left." There was a definite tremor in the boy's voice.

"Where did he go?"

"He..." The gun was pushed up further. "He left with the woman he was photographing. He probably took her back to his place, that's what he usually does."

Heero rolled his eyes in frustration but the boy never saw it. "Leave." Heero moved the gun away and the boy rushed out of the office.

THREE MINUTES LATER

A single security guard burst through the door of Tom Seaver's office. No one was there. There was no sign of intrusion whatsoever. The overweight security guard gave the intern a dirty look.

"I swear he was here. He had a gun. He could've killed me."

"Yeah right." The security guard stuck his gun into its hostler and closed the door.

THIRTY MINUTES LATER

"He left."

"When?"

"I don't know about five minutes ago, I guess."

"That's not possible. It takes at least fifteen minutes to get here. That's not enough time..." Heero didn't finish his statement. The naked young woman in front of him rolled her eyes and got off the bed, ignoring the gun he had pointed at her.

"You're telling me! And it took him two minutes to open the condom wrapper." The woman said in obvious disappointment. She pulled on her spandex tank top and looked over at Heero. "So what'd he do to you? Take dirty pictures of your wife?"

"I'm not married." Heero put away his gun and began to glance around the room. "Did he say where he was going?"

"Yeah something about a shoot in the Sanq Kingdom. So you're not married huh?" Heero felt a warm hand glide up his forearm. He ignored the sensation and walked out of the apartment, never glancing back at the half naked and extremely disappointed woman he left behind.

THIRTY HOURS LATER

Heero put his fist through the wall. It was a pretty amazing feat considering the bathroom wall was tiled and quite sturdy. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his plane ticket, then he ripped the offending paper to shreds.

He obviously wasn't going to get to Relena in time if he continued to depend on the airlines. He decided to rent a car. If he drove all night he could make it to her place by 9 am on Sat. morning. That was cutting it close. He decided to call the other pilots and make sure Mr. Seaver had quite the reception.

THIRTEEN HOURS LATER

Relena had always dreamed about waking up and finding Heero at the foot of her bed. Reality is never as good as fantasy. For one thing in her fantasy Heero didn't smell so bad. She wondered when the last time he showered or had changed clothes was. His eyes were dangerous looking.

"Get up, get dressed and get out."

Relena who was used to all kinds of rude comments from Heero looked taken back. "Why Heero? What happened with the photographer?"

"I didn't get to see him. He will be here in less than an hour, so you have to leave."

"What do you mean you didn't get to see him?" Relena asked in complete shock. She couldn't remember Heero ever having not accomplished his goal. "Heero, are you saying that you failed your mission?"

A low growl was her only answer. Heero pushed her into the bathroom and then opened her drawers pulling out a T-shirt and a pair of shorts for her along with some socks and undergarments. He knocked on the door and passed her the garments.

"I am going to need a sweater as well. Get the light blue cardigan hanging in my closet." Relena called out right before the shower turned on.

As Heero was searching through Relena's closet he heard a knock on the door. Wufei, Trowa and Quatre were right on time.

"Quatre once Relena's out of the shower I want you to take her to the park or something. Just get her out of the apartment." Quatre nodded his assent "Where's Duo?"

"Right here Heero. I wanted to know what we were going up against so I picked up the latest issue of Penthouse."

"How is that supposed to help us?"

"Well..." Duo either had no answer or forgot it as he unfolded the centerfold. "I know you said this Dorothy Catalonia girl was a psychobitch, but she sure has one fine body."

"WHAT?! Dorothy posed for Penthouse?" Quatre pushed Trowa out of the way and snatched the magazine from Duo's hand. "Oh my god it is her and she's NAKED!"

"You're damn right I am. So tell me Quatre do you like what you see?" All the pilots turned their heads towards the doorway where Dorothy was reclining.

"Dorothy!" Quatre's face turned a bright shade of crimson and he hid the magazine behind his back. "What are you doing here?"

"Well Mr. Seaver told me of Miss Relena's decision. I must say I was very surprised, anyway I guess I came over to see if it was really true." Dorothy walked over to Quatre and grabbed the magazine from him then she began flipping through the pages.

"You know I was thinking of you Quatre, when they shot this one." She said as she opened the magazine to a page with her rubbing a whip against her exposed crotch. Quatre blushed a deep red and turned his eyes up to the ceiling in shock.

"Gee that's ah...sweet." He stammered.

"You're sweet." She whispered as she brushed the magazine across his cheek. Quatre eeped.

"You know I'm a gundam pilot too." Duo chimed in.

"Duo you're married and you have a son." Wufei noted.

"Quatre why don't you take Miss Catalonia out to breakfast?" Heero said. He was anxious to get rid of Relena's unexpected visitor.

"What a great idea. You'll tell Miss Relena that I was here, won't you Heero? I know that she'll look great, Mr. Seaver is a fine photographer." Dorothy said as she grabbed Quatre's hand and dragged him out of the apartment. Quatre sputtered and looked desperately at the other pilots, but recieved no aid.

"Was that Dorothy Catalonia?" Relena asked as she walked out of her bedroom.

"Yes Quatre's taking her out to breakfast."

"Really? How nice. I certainly never pegged them as a couple."

"Are you ready to leave?"

"Yes Heero."

"Good. Duo take Relena to the park. Don't come back before noon."

"Me? But Heero what if this photographer brings some other women here. I want to stay."

"He's not going to bring any other women. He's coming to photgraph Relena. I want her out of here now." Heero said. He looked at Duo and the discussion ended there. Duuo grabbed Relena's purse and then escorted her out of the door.

300 MINUTES LATER

Relena opened the door to her apartment alone. Hilde had met Duo in the park and they had taken off together. Relena figured Heero and the others had finished up with the Penthouse photographer long ago, so she wasn't surprised to find her home empty. Pulling off her sweater, she walked into her bedroom to hang it up when she saw him.

Relena stopped cold and just stared. She had fantasies that started off like this. Heero was chained to her bed. He had a ball gag in his mouth and nothing else. He was completely naked.

"Heero?" Relena approached the bed cautiously. As tempting as it was to just jump him then and there, she realized that Heero couldn't chain himself to the bed. She attempted to remove the gag, but it had a lock on it. Relena threw her sweater over Heero's midsection and began rummaging through her nightstand drawer. She had a pair of scissors somewhere around here.

Heero was trying to say something, but she couldn't understand him. His eyes kept darting towards the bathroom.

"There's someone else here?" Heero nodded. "Whoever's here show yourself!" Relena demanded.

Trowa walked out of the bathroom, followed by Wufei. Relena looked at them and then at Heero. It was obvious they had done this to him, but "Why?"

"You made a commitment Relena, you have to keep it."

"Look Wufei I know you're a little nutty when it comes to justice issues, but isn't this extreme?" Wufei frowned.

"This wasn't my idea Relena. I'm just helping out a friend."

Relena looked over at Trowa in shock. "Trowa? Why would you do this to me?"

"Honestly Relena you are so terribly naive. Do you really think a man with my skills would be content working at the circus, as a clown? I'm so much more talented than that."

"Okay so you are tired of letting Catherine throw knives at you. How exactly does that explain chaining Heero to my bed?"

"Relena look at me. I'm handsome, athletic and mysterious. Women can't resist me. At first it was a little frightening to have women throwing themselves at me everywhere I went. Being a gundam pilot certainly has it's advantages, just ask Heero. He isn't the faithful lap dog that you think he is." Trowa smiled and Relena looked at Heero in disbelief. His eyes were fixed on Trowa and a low growl was coming from his gagged mouth.

"But then I got used to it. I learned to enjoy it and recently I've learned to make a profit off of it. You see I have made quite a lot of money selling photos of my admirers to Playboy, Hustler and Penthouse. Of course I had to use an alias, something generic like Tom Seaver." Trowa smiled and Relena felt her stomach turn over. "But photos of you would not only bring in a king's ransom, they would make me one of the most sought after photographers around. When you called me, I was so shocked, I almost forgot to cover my voice. I knew I had hit the motherload and then when we had dinner together and I realized that you were going to back out of our little deal, well, I just couldn't let that happen."

"Trowa you can't make me pose for you." Relena backed away slowly until she hit the wall.

"Oh no, I got Dorothy to do it. She didn't want to at first, but when I promised her Quatre, she relented. You see everyone has their price Relena. The question is what's yours?" Trowa walked over to Heero and removed Relena's sweater. "You don't want him hurt do you?" Trowa asked as he threw her the sweater.

"You wouldn't really hurt him would you? He 's your friend." Relena looked at Heero with sorrow in her eyes. She would do anything for him, but if she posed for Trowa then would Heero still respect her? It could destroy their relationship for good.

"Oh I'm not going to hurt him. In fact he'll probably never admit to it, but I think he's going to enjoy what's about to happen to him." Trowa smiled a purely wicked smile.

"Oh yeah and what's that?" Relena asked curiously.

"Wufei." Trowa motioned to his accomplice who saddled up to the bed and ran his fingers down Heero's chest.

"You see Relena this is a win-win situation for Wufei. He's got quite the crush on Heero here and he's got quite the crush on you as well. Apparently he's not a picky fellow." Wufei turned to Trowa and scowled, but continued to stroke Heero's chest and stomach. "If you agree to let me take your photo, then Wufei gets to see you naked, if not then Wufei gets to have his way with Heero. Either way he'll have one of his fantasies fulfilled." At this Heero' s eyes bugged out of his head and he looked at Wufei in horror. The chinese man didn't seem to notice at all, instead he took his ministrations lower.

Relena's jaw dropped in shock. She just couldn't believe this was all happening. She knew that Duo was with Hilde and Quatre was with Dorothy so there was no one coming by to save her and Heero. She had never seen much emotion from Heero before but she could see some now. He looked like he was in agony. She couldn't let him suffer anymore.

"Alright Trowa you win. I'll do it, but this is going to ruin my career and without me the peace between the Colonies and the earth will be destroyed. Are your stupid pictures really worth that?" Relena had to hold back the tears threatening to spill down her face.

"Well somebody certainly has a very high opinion of herself. If it makes you feel any better, I was planning on keeping the shoot very tasteful. I even brought a robe for you to wear." Trowa smiled.

"What? You mean I won't have to pose nude?" Relena felt relief rush through her until Trowa reached into his pocket and pulled out her 'robe'. It was quite long but so sheer that it easily folded up into just a 2" X 2" square. Wearing that robe would do nothing to preserve her modesty.

"I have a pair of angel wings that go with it. I don't want to make you into some kind of slut Relena. You're pure, like a Micheangelo painting. Come on Wufei, let's set up a suitable backdrop in the living room." Trowa said as he pulled a disappointed Wufei away from Heero and out of Relena's bedroom. "You can get undressed in here if you like. I have the key to Heero's chains so don't even bothering looking for it."

As soon as the door shut, Relena rushed over to the second drawer in her nightstand and pulled it open. She recalled putting her scissors there a week ago. She smiled when she saw them. Something was finally going right. She cut the leather straps of the ball gag and pulled the stupid thing out of Heero's mouth.

"Relena don't do this. Get out of here now. I'll be okay. I can handle Wufei." Heero said as he spit out the foul rubber taste in his mouth.

"But Heero you're chained to the bed. You' re at their mercy. I can't let anything bad happen to you. It will cost me my pride, but that seems like a small price to pay compared to the alternative."

"No Relena I won't let you do this. I'm not worth it." Relena couldn't hold her tears in anymore. She hugged Heero's head and kissed him.

"You are to me." She said and then she pulled off her clothes and put on the see-through robe Trowa had left for her. Ignoring Heero's curses, she walked out of the room with her shoulders square, her back straight and her head held high.

THIRTEEN MINUTES LATER

"You know Relena, if you ever get bored with that stone statue in there, I would be honored to escort you to dinner and a movie sometime." Trowa said as he snapped a shot of Relena wearing a pair of angel's wings and standing in front of a blue sky backdrop. "Could you squeeze your breasts together again."

Relena glared at him but did as he asked. She wanted to wipe that smug look off his face, but knew that she wouldn't stand a chance against either of them. Wufei lounged on the couch with a satisfied grin on his face. He had already used her bathroom twice and he was now rubbing himself gently as he watched her.

Suddenly the door to Relena's bedroom was kicked open and Heero walked into the room. He had a gun in each hand and he was dragging chains. Her sweater was tied across his waist. Wufei leaped at Heero, but Heero nailed him in a single shot. This gave Trowa enough time to get to his gun. He knew that Heero would risk death to get a clean shot of him, so he quickly reached over and grabbed Relena.

"I don't want to hurt her Heero. You have to understand. This isn't about the money, or even the professonal prestige. I'm an artist and this is my greatest work. Relena won't lose her job. She's infallible in the eyes of the people. They will love her even more once they see these pictures. I've captured her innocence, her grace." Trowa laid his head against Relena's. "I want to show the people how beautiful she truly is."

"Trowa you've gone insane. Wufei I could understand. He was always a little off, but not you. I trusted you above all others. How could you do this Trowa?" Heero asked.

"It's simple Heero. I stopped living for so long, long before the war. I shut off my emotions and watched the world and all it's joys pass me by. I'm just making up for lost time." Trowa dragged Relena over to the camera and told her to grab it. She did as he said and then he dragged her over to the door. When they got to the door he managed to open it with his butt and then kick it open with his foot. He then dragged Relena out into the hall and told her to close the door.

Trowa left Relena there and raced down the stairs with the camera. Heero followed behind him quickly, silently hoping no one would see him in his current lack of dress.

Relena returned to her apartment, crying miserably. She ran into her room and pulled on a real robe. She was going to wait for Heero there when she noticed movement in the living room. Wufei was crawling slowly back to the couch.

"Don't move Wufei, I'll call an ambulance." Relena said. She wasn't happy with the chinese man but she couldn't stand by and let him die.

"Will you sit with me Relena?" Wufei asked as he propped himself up against the couch.

Relena scowled but decided that if he was dying then she couldn't deny him his last request. She sat beside him and he laid his head on his shoulder.

"I guess you know why I like strong people like you and Heero so much. You've probably figured out that I'm a weak man. I'm sorry Relena. I seek justice, but in truth I have the no more sense of justice than a common trial lawyer. I am pitiful, pure scum. I do not deserve to live. If there is any true justice in the universe than this bullet in my chest will take my life and I will be reborn as a maggot." Wufei looked down in misery.

"Well what you did was wrong, very, very wrong, but if you're truly sorry than I guess I can forgive you." Relena said feeling pity for the man.

"Really you 'd do that? You could forgive me after what I've done. You are a true saint, Relena. A goddess. I am grateful that I have had the chance to fight for you. It has been an honor." Wufei paused for a moment. "Relena I think that I am dying. I feel very weak now. I know I have no right to ask, but if you could grant a dying man his last wish it would be most kind of you. Relena would you kiss me?"

Relena looked at him in shock. He must be kidding.

"No not like that. Just a peck on the forehead. I just want your face to be the last thing I see before I die." He looked so pitiful that Relena couldn't say no. She nodded her head and leaned over Wufei. She placed a sweet, gentle kiss on his forehead, then she felt him squeeze both her breasts.

"Wufei!" Relena backhanded him into the couch. "You pig!"

"Oh come on Relena, I'm dying here. Just a little taste?" Wufei looked at her with puppy dog eyes that made Relena even angrier. Smiling sweetly Relena reached down, stroked his hair and then kicked him in the groin.

"Hell woman, you're not a saint, you're a demon!" Wufei said in a slightly high pitched voice.

"Yeah well you deserve it, you scum bag. You should be thankful I don't drag your ass into the hall and make you wait for the paramedics there!" Relena yelled as she walked over to the loveseat and watched him from a safe distance across the room.

THIRTY SECONDS LATER

Heero had cornered Trowa in the parking garage. "Trowa the choice is simple. If you don't give me the film now, then I will kill you and take it off of your dead body."

"Damn it Heero. I figured it would take you fifteen minutes to get out of those restraints, but you surprised me yet again. Those chains were unpenatrable. Here Heero, you win, you can take the photos." Trowa tossed Heero a roll of film.

"Not good enough Trowa. I want the camera and your clothes."

"My clothes too? Come on Heero, you can make it up Relena's apt. without anyone seeing you. There's no way I can make it back to my hotel unnoticed." Trowa said as he handed over the camera.

"Sorry Trowa, but Relena's sweater isn't providing me with full coverage here. I'm don't want to catch a cold from this draft." Heero smirked as he watched Trowa undress. "The boxers too."

"Heero..."

"What's wrong, what's good for the goose isn't good for the gander?" Heero asked. Trowa frowned but complied.

Heero got dressed quickly. He pocketed the boxers, unwilling to wear another man's underwear. Then he took one last look at Trowa. "I told Relena that I was finished with killing and I meant it, but Trowa if you or Wufei come near her ever again, I won't hesitate to kill you both."

THREE MINUTES LATER

"Do you want to ride in the ambulance with him?" The EMT asked.

Wufei reached his hand out to Relena, "Please?"

"Hell NO!"

Heero waited for the paramedics to wheel Wufei out of the door before he walked into Relena's apartment.

"Heero!" She screamed and ran into his arms. "Did you get the film?"

He nodded. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. I am so sorry, I think that your friendship with Wufei and Trowa may be over."

Growling Heero said. "You're damn right it is. I can't believe those two. They must be insane to go through so much trouble just to get you out of your clothes." Heero balled his hands into fists, but then noticed that Relena was no longer hugging him. Looking into her face, he realized his comment had pissed her off. "What I mean is...Well you see, you know I think you're gorgeous and totally worth the effort, but well they must've known that I wouldn't let them get by with something like this."

"I think I see what you're saying. So where's the film?"

Heero took the cartridge out of his pocket and handed it to her. Relena grabbed the end of the film and was about to rip it from the cartridge when Heero stopped her. "Now Relena, you don't want to destroy it do you?"

"Of course I do Heero." Relena tried again, but Heero grabbed her wrists.

"It's just that it would be such a waste. I mean the pictures are taken, don't you want to see how they come out?" Heero smiled one of his rare, only for her, smiles.

"But if I try to have the film developed..."

"I can develop it for you."

"But Heero..."

"You know I won't let anyone else see the photos. It'll just be between you and me." Heero said as he grabbed the roll of film and kissed her nose.

THIRTEEN MINUTES LATER

Trowa watched the ambulance leave. Finally people were no longer milling about and he could get to his car. Of course he'd have to break in because his keys were in his pants, but that should only take a minute.

A black mercedes pulled into the garage and he had to hide behind a pillar.

Dorothy got out of the car and looked around. "So Trowa I guess things didn't go that well." She said as she smiled her catlike smile.

"How did you know I was here?" He asked as he looked out from behind the pillar.

"Well you're skinny, but you're also excited." She smirked as she walked up to him. "Need a ride?"

He nodded. "I don't suppose you have a blanket or something I could throw on."

"Let me check." Dorothy answered as she opened up the trunk and revealed a bound and gagged Quatre wearing a black leather thong. "Nope guess not."

THIRTY DAYS LATER

"Man, I don't believe it. I can't believe those two were so sick and twisted. It's always the quiet ones, not that Wufei was ever that quiet but I just figured he was only nuts when it came to justice issues."

"Yeah it was quite the shocker. Hey have either of you heard from Quatre? I don't think I've talked to him since that day." Relena asked. Both Hilde and Duo shook their heads.

"So is Wufei out of the hospital now?"

Heero nodded. "I only winged him in the shoulder. It was little more than a flesh wound."

"I reported his actions to Lady Une and I think he is going to be dismissed from the Preventers. Of course there's going to be a morality trial and all that, so it will probably take a couple of years to have him removed." Relena added bitterly.

"So how did the photos turn out?" Duo winked at Heero, but got popped in the head by Hilde.

"Idiot."

"They were actually quite nice. Although I think that I looked too scared to be considered sexy in any of them." Relena added with a slight blush.

"So that's it huh? Other than losing a change of clothes, Trowa gets off scot-free. That's gotta really burn you up."

"Well actually I performed a little 'art' of my own on his car."

"What?"

"Well he left the keys to his car in the pair of pants I took, so I redecorated it a little. You know, keyed in a few designed, added some daisy seeds to the carborator, just little stuff."

Duo laughed heartily. "Heero you dog!"

Just then a couple of girls walked by the table. The pointed and giggled. Heero glared at them, but it didn't seem to have any effect. In fact when the girls saw that they had caught his eye, they walked over to the table.

"Hi I'm Candy." "And I'm Bambi." The both giggled and smiled at Heero. Duo gave them a big smile and Hilde and Relena looked like they were ready to bitch-slap the women.

"What can we do for you ladies?" Duo asked, ignoring the fork that Hilde was pressing into his thigh.

"Well we just wanted Mr. Yuy to know that we really enjoyed his spread in Playgirl and well if it isn't too much trouble, could we have an autograph." Candy pulled the magazine out of her purse and stuck it under Heero's nose.

"What!?" Heero tore open the magazine and unfolded the centerfold. It was him, completely naked and chained to Relena's bed.

"Oh my God. Oh Heero. I can't believe Trowa did this to you." Relena said as she looked over his shoulder and studied the picture.

"Let me see." Hilde reached across the table and snagged the magazine. Duo grabbed it from her before she could feast her eyes on his fellow pilot.

"Oh man Heero what're you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna kill him that's what! I don't understand, he was naked. I made him strip. I even took his boxers. How did he get this past me?" Heero asked as he took the magazine from Duo and began to tear it into pieces.

Comprehension dawned on them all and Heero dropped the magazine. "Eewwww."


~~~~~~~~~~

Disclaimer/AN: If I owned Gundam Wing I'd never let anyone do that to my characters. By the way if you didn't get the last part, think airport security cavity search.

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