Key:
(*)= lyrics
(=) = thoughts
(//) = memories
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trowa sighed heavily, staring at the way Hilde laughed. They had been friends for so long now that it almost seemed impossible that they had only met four years ago. Duo also laughed, causing Heero to shake his head with slight embarrassment for the braided fool.

"He gets worse every time," Heero mumbled and took a last swig from his beer.

"Relena doesn't think so," Trowa nodded toward the blond haired girl who seemed to be soaking up every line Duo put forth.

Heero stole a glance at her but made no move to interrupt her thoughts or Duo's flirtatious moves. Instead he turned to face Trowa, staring at him curiously before the bar made came to take his empty bottle and replace it with another.

"When are you going to make the move on De," he asked with a demand of an answer.

Trowa swallowed evenly, not letting the butterflies that had suddenly appeared in his belly show. He watched Hilde making an off the wall comment and then slapping a high five to Noin across the table and turned to Heero.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said. "Besides... we've been friends for too long. I don't think I could..."

Heero arched an eyebrow in disbelief at Trowa's words and said nothing to the unfinished statement his friend had just made. Taking the first swallow of his second beer, he sighed and began peeling the label off.

"Hey, De," he called out, "What do you think about friends and lovers," he asked as he stared into her eyes.

Everyone else's eyes were wide and on him as he waited for her answer but he didn't care. Hilde swallowed what was in her mouth and wiped her lips with the back of her hand. With questions of her own, she stared at him, curious of why he was asking her.

"Why are you asking me," she asked with a slight smile and the feeling of heat burning her cheeks red.

"Curious," Heero replied.

"I think friends make the best lovers and the biggest mistake," she answered and turned to look at the other two women for help.

"I don't think it's a mistake," Relena added as she looked across the table at Trowa and then Heero. "I think a relationship between friends, if it's strong enough, can be a wonderful meltdown between two people who completely trust each other enough to call the other 'friend'."

Zechs looked at his wife and then looked across the table.

"I think it's a mistake worth taking. One may find that what they feared was nothing but themselves and their own inadequecies."

"Well spoken," Trowa commended. "And on _that_ note..." he pushed away from the table, looking at his watch. "I have to go. My watch starts at seven thirty."

"Loser," Duo called out in his own jovial manner, implying that Trowa could not pull an all nighter and still be on time for his watch in the morning.

"Unlike You, Maxwell... we KNOW when it's time to call it quits," Wufei hissed at Duo and pushed away as well. "I'm leaving too," he said.

"Say hi to Sally for me," Noin giggled much to the disapproval of her husband but she laughed anyway. Wufei did not find it amusing. He glared at her and made a rude remark that only sent Noin into further laughter. Trowa shook his head as he swung his jacket over his shoulders.

"You guys have a good night," he said and waved to them, staring at Hilde for a brief moment longer before walking away with Wufei beside him.

Sitting on his bike, Wufei watched Trowa put on his helmet and waited to talk to him. "What," Trowa finally asked.

"I think you should talk more and think less," Wufei said as he started his own bike.

Trowa stared for a moment as he watched Wufei pull his bike out of the lot. The words echoed in his mind as he watched the Chinese man leave on his Ninja.

"Yeah, right," he whispered and did the same, taking his bike to the street and then home in the opposite direction that Wufei went.

//"I think friends make the best lovers and the biggest mistake."//

Trowa watched the streetlights go by above him as he concentrated on her words, her expression, her words... her words... his thoughts... her words... the car slowing down in front of him, the light changing from yellow to red... her words... her words... her...

*

I can't fight this feeling any longer

And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow

What started out as friendship, has grown stronger

I only wish I had the strength to let it show

* Finally he made it back to his apartment and let himself in. Placing his keys on the small shelf by the door, he flipped a switch and let the room become bathed in the dim softness of the floor lamp. Walking into the kitchen, he opened the refrigerator and pulled out the gallon of water and drank from it. As the cold liquid pummeled down his throat, he closed his eyes and wondered what it would feel like to kiss her. Choking on the water, he put the container down and tried to wipe the mental image and feeling from his mind but he found that he could not.

Heero and Wufei had read him so well and it pained him to no end. He _did_ want to 'make the move on De' but he respected her too much. Not only as a person but as a friend. How did one 'make a move' on their _Friend_?

//"I think you should talk more and think less."//

Maybe Wufei was right. Maybe Zechs was right in his statement about mistakes and lovers. Maybe Hilde was right and he should leave well enough alone. He let out a hard breath after coughing a bit more and then took another drink from the jug and put it back into it's cold home. Trying to ease his mind and push it all out, Trowa walked down the hall to his room and flicked a light. He stared at a picture on the nightstand and sighed as he walked over to it and picked it up.

He sat in the middle of the group on a chair. Hilde stood directly behind him with her arm wrapped around his neck, holding the shoulder where her head rested. The guys, Relena and Noin were all positioned around them but he kept it visible only for the fact that Hilde was 'holding' him. He remembered feeling a straining pitch in his groin when she raced her hand across his chest and he bit back a moan as she drew herself closer to him. The picture had been taken two years ago.

"How long can you wait," he asked himself as he set the picture down and pulled the blanket down from the top of the bed. "Forever?"

He sighed, telling himself to go to bed and so he lay back, staring at the ceiling before closing his eyes. Morning was just around the corner and he would have to be awake sooner than he'd like anyway.

*

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever

I said there is no reason for my fear

Cause I feel so secure when we're together

You give my life direction

You make everything so clear

* Hilde stretched as she opened the door to the building. Not really wanting to be there on a Saturday morning, especially after the night she'd had, she trudged her way into the lounge and stared blankly at the dark liquid falling into the pot. Grabbing one of the ceramic mugs from the holder, Hilde removed the pot and poured whatever was inside into her cup and replaced it back onto the warmer to continue being filled.

"That bad," Trowa asked as he came into the room to see if his coffee had finished brewing yet. It hadn't. Hilde swallowed quickly as the liquid burned her throat and shook her head.

"Just tired," she whispered.

"I thought Kelso was in this morning," Trowa asked, trying to hide the fact that he was more than thrilled to see that he'd be sharing watch with her.

"He is," she answered. "I'm in for Shelby."

Hoping his face fault wasn't too obvious, he nodded and was finally able to pour his coffee. =I love you=....... "Well... I'm off to Section Nine," he said and left the room but not without taking another look at her. A hint of a smile crossed his face as he watched her warm her hands and continue to try in waking up. Shaking his head, he left the room with her on his mind _again_.

*

And even as I wander

I'm keeping you in sight

You're a candle in the window

On a cold, dark winter's night

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

*

"Hey, Trowa," Hilde called as she ran through the large hangar toward the man on the other side. Trowa turned from his inspection of one of the shuttle crafts to watch the girl run toward him. His mind wondered over her body as it bounced in certain places that he should never have been looking at to begin with. He watched her, stepping away from the craft and the other men in his presence to meet her before she saw him staring at her.

"What's going on," he asked non-chalantly as he eyed her coveralls that were tied around her waist instead of being fully on over her shoulders and zipped up.

"Hey, can you give me a ride after shift change," she asked as she turned to inspect the bird* he had been working on.

The men that were working with Trowa had eyed her and Trowa together, some of them laughing and making obvious assumptions but none spoke loud enough for them to hear. Hilde turned her attention from them back to Trowa who was writing down something in his patrol log. Trowa looked back up to meet her gaze and nodded.

"Sure. Come get me when you're ready to go," he said and walked away from her as if nothing had transpired at all between them.

Inside his stomach was turning as he thought about all the things he wanted to do after shift change but reprimanded himself because he should not be getting that close to her. He should not even have imagined getting that close to her. They were friends. 'Friends made the biggest mistakes' he reminded himself and sighed.

*

And I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I started fighting for

It's time to bring this ship into the shore

And throw away the oars, forever

*

Trowa finished handing over command to Heero and signed off on his sheet. Hilde stood at the doorway, talking to one of the other females in the office about a picture they were both scrutinizing while she waited for Trowa.

Heero eyed the raven haired girl and then looked up at Trowa with a slight disgruntled stare.

"What," Trowa asked, trying to take the distraction of Hilde's laughter away from his mind.

"Stop fighting it," Heero advised to which Trowa declared no knowledge.

"Exactly. You don't even know why you're fighting it. WHAT you're fighting much less," Heero added. "Just do it. It's never going to happen by itself."

*

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I started fighting for

And if I have to crawl upon the floor

Come crashing through your door

Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore

*

=Hilde... I love you.=

Trowa opened the door for her and walked around to the other side. He stared blankly for a moment when he realized that she had unlocked his door for him and then got into the driver's seat.

=Hilde... I want you.=

Everything that ran through his mind made absolutely no sense. He didn't want to tell her that he'd been fantasizing about her for the last two and a half years for fear that it would sound like he was only after sex from her. He didn't want to tell her that he loved her for fear that it would appear that he was only after... sex. He sighed.

"What's wrong," she asked, noticing his concern.

=I love you= he thought.

"I'm tired."

Hilde nodded. Suddenly recalling the events of the night, she agreed and wished that she could just curl up right there in the passenger seat of his mustang and go to sleep. She did.

Trowa didn't know what to do. He didn't want to dig through her pockets for the key to her apartment so instead, he drove to his apartment and carried her inside where he placed her gently on his bed. Staring down at her, he wished that he could touch her; hold her close, but he knew he couldn't. He sighed and pushed a stray hair from her face and then grabbed the blanket from the end of the bed and unfolded it over her.

*

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you

I've been running round in circles in my mind

And it always seems that I'm following you, girl

Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find

*

Trowa stared at her from the doorway as she curled up into a small ball and sighed. How beautiful she looked; how much he wanted to hold her. Shaking his head with slight irritation at himself and his inability to handle his feelings, he walked away, closing the door just enough to keep the rest of the sounds of the house out of the room.

*

And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight

You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

*

Hours had passed. Hilde had still not woken up and if she had, she hadn't come out of the room. He had made something to eat but kept it in the oven in case she was hungry when she did come out. Turning on the television, Trowa sat back on the couch and rested his head against the back of the cushion. Within seconds he was asleep as the remains of the day swept through the small apartment by way of the fading rays of sunlight through the balcony window.

Hilde woke to the soft sounds of the tv and listened carefully for further sounds as she adjusted to the darkness. Finding that she was on a strange bed, she looked around the room and found a picture staring at her. She smiled as she stared at it through the soft glow that filled the room and reached out to touch it. How she wanted Trowa to read her signs then that she wanted to be a part of his life but that was two years ago. Why would he want to be now?

She sighed and rolled out of the bed. Softly padding to the door, she didn't care that she wasn't wearing any shoes. She walked down the hall, following the aroma of basil chicken and sweet corn. Not making it to the kitchen, she stopped shy when she saw Trowa laying down on the couch. She could tell that he hadn't fallen asleep that way and smiled as she walked over to 'fix' him.

Lifting his other leg onto the couch, she removed his shoes as she was certain he had done to her and then moved to place a pillow under his neck. Trowa opened his eyes briefly at her, not really focussing on her. He was too tired to be coherent and allowed her to adjust his position.

"Trowa," she whispered and smiled inwardly as he opened his eyes at her. "I'm leaving," she whispered softly.

Trowa grabbed her hand, trying to be sure he heard her as he motioned for her to repeat her statement with a nod of his head.

"I'm _leaving_," she whispered above what she had done a moment ago.

"Stay," Trowa whispered and unconsciously pulled her to him.

Hilde bit her lip and allowed herself to be pulled to him. She wanted to refuse him until he was fully awake but somehow she felt that he knew what he was doing.

Trowa scooted over on the oversized cushion and made room for her small body beside him. He pulled the throw blanket from the back of the couch and covered himself as he wrapped his arms around her.

Wanting to scream, Hilde held her breath and felt him snuggle up close to her. She stared at him; studying his lips, his skin, his closed eye lids, his lips... How she wanted to kiss him. She sighed.

*

And I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I started fighting for

It's time to bring this ship into the shore

And throw away the oars, forever

*

Hilde held her breath as she pulled herself closer to him and snuggled up against his chest. She had to be done fighting her feelings and had to be done wishing that he would make the move. It was obvious that he wasn't going to make it but then again, he _was_ holding her. She nestled herself into his arms and felt them tighten around her tiny frame. Her one hand rested against his chest and her other hand had wrapped around her waist to hold Trowa's hand that rested on her hip.

=I love you= she whispered in her mind and closed her eyes.

Holding her tongue, she rested her chin in the crook of his neck and inhaled the scent of his cologne and sweat.

"It's now or never, Hilde," she whispered to herself.

*

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I started fighting for

And if I have to crawl upon the floor

Come crashing through your door

Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore

*

Hilde braced herself and then leaned up, slightly brushing Trowa's neck with her lips. Finding that he didn't move, she went in a little firmer and tasted his soft flesh as she kissed it again, near his jugular. Trowa moved beneath her assault as she continued in kissing his neck and before she knew it, he had woken up and had pulled her on top of him. Her kisses to his neck were now being planted fully on his mouth as she begged permission to explore his mouth with her tongue.

Trowa began removing her shirt as she was doing to him. Seconds later, wrapping the blanket around her body, he had her only in her bra and panties as he sat up with her and carried her to his room. He placed her gently on the bed, pulling the covers back beneath her and then crawling in over her.

Hilde craved his attention and pulled him down to her, barely giving him room to take off his pants as she kissed him and held him, wanting to feel him all around her.

Finally, Trowa was able to remove the rest of her clothing and now hovered above her as he prepared to enter her tightness.

"I love you, Hilde," he whispered. "I won't do this for any other reason, so if this is just a fuck to you then let me know now cause I won't have it," he spoke semi-harshly at her.

Hilde felt the sting in his voice but knew why he felt that way and reached up to touch his face as she pulled him down and kissed him gently.

"I've loved you for two and a half years, Trowa Barton. This is More than just a fuck to me. You are more than a one night stand," she whispered. "Make love to me, Trowa... make me yours forever..."

Trowa stared into her eyes and rubbed the sides of her face. He recalled her words from the night before and hesitated but she was asking him to make love to her. He kissed her forehead and then penetrated her warmth, closing his eyes as he indulged himself in her body. Barely being able to move, he held his breath as he began to move slowly within her.

Hilde began to breathe heavily as she felt him moving inside of her and filling her with his length. By the end of the night she would be his and she would never leave him if she had anything to say about it. At the end of the night Trowa would have claimed her in more ways than one and would have no qualms about any of it.

*

Baby I can't fight this feeling any more...

*

"I'm not holding out any longer," he breathed into her ear and pumped a bit harder into her. "I love you," he whispered as he completed himself in her.

"And I you," she whispered back as she arched her back to meet his deeper penetration and cried out at her climax.

Trowa pulled her closer to him as he pushed deeper inside of her one last time and buried his face into her neck. He'd done what she asked and now would not let her go from his hold on her. They were one in the same now and forever and he would not _have_ to fight this feeling any more.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~