//Her skin was soft to the touch. It hurt him to know that he could not completely ease her pain but he would do what he could to help her, to let her know that regardless of what she was told, she was still loveable and desirable. He knew that it would be a one night stand but he let it happen anyway, not allowing his pride to set in even though he was raging inside from what had brought this on.

"Are you certain," he breathed to her shallow whisper of a positive reply. What was to come of this? Could he do it?

"Never more," she answered him just as he entered her slowly; surely.

Was it a mistake? He inhaled her scent as it mingled with his and regretted every minute there after because it would be nothing more than a rebound for her and he'd allowed it to happen. It didn't keep him from enjoying it, only from wanting more.//

He stared at her, watching her as she walked around the office with a smile on her face as though she had not a care in the world; as though what Duo had done to her was nothing more than a minor thing. She'd forgiven him too quickly but what did that leave behind? Duo was unaware of what she had done and if he did know, he kept it silent better than anyone would have thought.

Hilde laughed as she joked with one of the other former pilots, talking about something that had happened over the previous weekend. He watched her with the bright smile on her face, the laugh lines that were so true, and wondered how something so beautiful could have been so sad when she came to him that one night so long ago. As his memories grew, he could not wait for the day to end.

~What am I supposed to do with all these blues
Huanting me
Everywhere
No matter what I do~

//Tears ran down her face, leaving red welts as they cascaded down her cheeks and to the tiny pockets of her blouse or to the ground. He saw her and intercepted her as she seemed to be running from something.

"Hey... hey, what is it," he asked her, not really certain of why he cared.

"Nothing," she cried and tried pushing past him but he held on to her, forcing her to look up at him. Hilde looked up at him, staring into the depths of his eyes, wondering why he even bothered. She stared at him, trying to wipe the tears away and swallow her hurt but it was not working. Instead they fell further and she collapsed into his arms, spilling all that had happened. She and Duo had just had a fight, he knocked her around a bit, not causing more damage than a rising fear within her and some mental harshness.

"Why do you stay with him," he asked her but she had no answer. What could she say to answer that?//

Hilde sat in the dark, staring out her window into the night. Duo hadn't been staying with her as of late but she didn't mind. It gave them 'room to breathe'. Truth was, he was leaning more toward another where as she was stuck on a memory of time past. A memory of a night so full of passion, unlike any she had ever known.

The night air brushed past her as it entered the tiny room through her opened window. Chills ran through her body causing goosebumps to form over her flesh. As the memories swam in her head, she knew that it was not the cold that was causing the rise. She sighed heavily and turned to face the candle she'd lit almost three hours ago.

//"Are you certain?"

She stared at him, tears streaming but they seemed not to matter.

"Never more," she replied and took a deep breath as he entered her slowly. "Oh God," she cried out softly and pulled him closer to her.//

~Watching the candle flicker out
In the evening glow
I can't let go
When will the night be over~

The night was forever passing, seeming to not want to end. How did this happen? Neither of them knew _how_ just that it _did_. What could they do? She stared at the stars out her window and he stared at the ceiling with the culprit of his feelings in the very next room.

If only he could see her again. But what would he say? If she could see him again, what would she do? "Hilde..." he whispered softly into the darkness and rolled over to stare at the clock. Ten forty-three p.m.

~I didn't mean to fall
In love with you
And Baby there's a name
For what you put me through
It isn't love it's robery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me~

Hilde let out a heavy breath as she turned away from the clock. It had just flipped numbers and now the time was ten forty-four. How much longer did she have to do this? How much longer could she sit at this window and stare out into the night sky wondering if she could see him that way again or if ever at all. It was strange for her, all the new sensations she had and she wanted more. But how could she do that to him? They endured a one night stand and that was it. He allowed himself to be the rebound she needed, _knowing_ that she would go back to Duo. Duo would send her flowers, buy her a Coke* and tell her he was sorry. He would cook a wonderful dinner for her and they'd be back together as if nothing happened. But it wasn't like that. Sure he did a few of those things he always did but he began pushing away from her. The first sign was his deciding to not sleep with her and go stay with the guys instead.

//"We both need room to breathe, Hilde... right now, this is the only way I know how to do that..."//

The second sign was his invitation to dinner. He declined, claiming duty swap with Wufei. Unfortunately, he forgot to tell Wufei about it and hadn't realized that the day in question was the same day she had watch. None of this had gone over well but neither of them were willing to admit defeat. They still claimed to be together even though actions stated otherwise but what were they supposed to do?

//"You think this is so easy, Duo... well it's Not! I don't even feel like I'm in a Relationship anymore!"

Duo guffawed at her statement and threw down the kitchen towel he'd used to dry his hands. "Whatever, Hilde. You act like you're in a relationship with everyone else more than you are with me. You're everyone else's girl."

Hilde scowled at him at first and then felt the pang of his words as it slapped her in the face. "What? Oh no, Duo... this is Not about Me," she retaliated. "This is about Us!"

"Does it even seem like there _IS_ an 'Us' anymore, Hilde? Look around! I don't think you're on the same page," he pointed out at her in a disgruntled manner. "We don't even make love anymore..."

Hilde bit her bottom lip as he stepped up to her, rage in his eyes. "So are you saying we're... through," she asked, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"I'm saying that we need time... I've decided to go stay with the guys..."

"So you're running away?"

"We both need room to breathe, Hilde... right now, this is the only way I know how to do that..."//

~Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by
Phantom ships
Lost at sea
And one of them is mine~

Hilde wiped the tears away. That was nearly two weeks ago. Now she felt lost, abandoned and somewhat hopeless. She'd burned a bridge the morning she went back into Duo's arms and now there was no way back. She'd turned a page in her life that she was not willing to look back at when she let Duo leave and now she didn't know how to quite handle her fragile heart. She was lost. =You're the only one who can find me...= she thought as she stared at the brightness of the moon. "Come find me, Quatre," she whispered and stepped away from the window.

Quatre rolled out of bed and walked to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of Heero's beer and stepped onto the back porch. The moon had risen to full height and now was almost like the day as he stood there, staring at it. Behind him, inside the house, he heard the chime of the clock going off, striking midnight. How long had he been awake, thinking about that night?

//"Make love to me, Quatre... please..."//

He obliged her. Why had he done that? Why couldn't the stars tell him? Why couldn't she tell him? There were no answers and he didn't know what to do. He felt lost but at the same time knew exactly where he was.

~Raising my glass I
Sing a toast to the midnight sky
I wonder why
The stars don't seem to guide me~

"Here's to you," he whispered softly as he raised the beer to the moon and then took a long swig from the bottle.

"Must be pretty fierce if it's got you drinking Irish beer," a voice spoke from behind him.

Quatre tensed at the voice but did not turn around or even reply. He gave a simple nod and that sufficed for him.

"Anything you wanna talk about," Duo asked as he popped open a beer of his own.

"No," Quatre spoke softly and turned to look at the braided young man.

"Suit yourself," Duo spoke and walked back into the house. Quatre let his held breath out and sighed. All he could think about was her.

//"Please..."

"Are you certain?"

"Never more... Oh God..."

=Allah be merciful to my heart...=

He entered her slowly, pushing completely into her and held her upon full penetration. Hilde pulled herself up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he began moving inside of her. She kissed his neck before he caught her lips with his and parted them with his tongue. They both knew it was wrong but neither seemed bothered by it or worried for the moment so instead of stopping, they continued in this session of love making. Quatre held her as he moved slowly, filling her to the very depth and pulling out and repeating the motion over and over again.//

It was what she wanted; it was what he was willing to give. How could it be wrong? It didn't matter _how_... it just _was_.

~I didn't mean to fall
In love with you
And Baby there's a name
For what you put me through
It isn't love it's robery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me~

Hilde stared at the clock, feeling the tears fall down her her cheeks to the pillow. It was finally after midnight but the time was still crawling for her. Her mind would not let go of that night near six weeks ago when she and Quatre slept together and he made love to her, filling her, holding her... _loving_ her. It was something Duo had forgotten how to do a long time ago.

~The ghost of you and me
When will it set me free~

The only good thing about the night passing was that it would lead them into the weekend. It would give her two whole days to get over it and stop thinking about it but was that likely? Could she forget the gentleness and tenderness of Quatre's heart? Would she _want_ to?

//"Oh God... Quatre..." she cried.

"Yes, Hilde..." he breathed, "I'm here..."

"Quatre... don't let go..." she pleaded through heavy breaths as he pumped himself completely into her.

"No," he whispered back, his breathing labored with need. "I won't..."//

~I hear the voices call

Following footsteps down the hall

Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul~

It would have been best to leave it all behind. She had to. It was too much to handle, these thoughts of him. She would just brush it out of her mind. Eventually Duo would come back for her or he would tell her it was truly over. Either way, it didn't matter much to her. She had other things to worry about. She turned again to face the dying candle and then stared out the window once more.

~Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I can't let go
When will this night be over...~

Not caring what possessed him to do so, Quatre left the safety of the house. Hoping into his Land Rover, he left and drove the distance from his home to his heart. Seconds later he was knocking on her door, hoping she'd answer, hoping she'd see him; hoping for something other than rejection.

Hilde hadn't made it to the door. Instead she was in the bathroom, crying as she vomited into the toilet. She'd allowed her nerves to get so worked up that it made her sick. Not that the red wine helped a whole lot either. When she heard the sound of his truck outside, she became tense with excitement causing the contents in her stomach to be constricted and forced out.

Slowly she made her way to the door in hopes that he would still be there and he was, though he was just about to leave.

"Quatre..." she whispered.

Quatre turned around and faced her, taking note of her sickness. Concern washed over him as he turned back to face her, watching as she stepped aside for him to come in.

"Are you ok," he asked her, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach as well.

Hilde grabbed his hand and led him to her room. Forgetting all else, not answering him, not saying a word, she began kissing him as she stripped him naked. Thankful that she'd gargled first, she fought entry into his mouth and pulled and tugged at his shirt and pants.

Quatre did not fight her, instead he helped her and then removed from her what little she was wearing. He allowed her to pull him to the bed where she opened her legs in order that he would have access and without delay or any henderance, he entered her. Was it a dream or was he really there? It seemed odd because lately it _was_ a dream. He'd been sleeping with a ghost of that first night so long ago.

~I didn't mean to fall
In love with you
And Baby there's a name
For what you put me through
It isn't love it's robery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me~

Quatre rocked gently inside her, holding her as he completed himself with her. Her cries of pleasure enticed him forward, bringing him closer to the edge as it had taken her. Hilde tightened around him causing a tighter friction between them and felt him release inside of her.

She kissed him tenderly, feeling his every touch on her skin as he gently caressed her while still moving inside of her.

"I love you," he whispered to her.

It suddenly didn't matter that she was still 'with' Duo or that they hadn't claimed their 'separation' yet. It didn't matter if she loved him or not either, only that she know of his love for her.

Pulling out of her, he grabbed at some kind of anything he could find on the floor and shoved it between her legs so that she could wipe herself clean from his seed.

Hilde lay there, next to him as he pulled her into his arms.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered.

Quatre did not respond for a few moments. So many things ran through his mind from anger and all hate and discontent to excitement and dread and then despair.

"Does Duo know," he asked softly.

"He doesn't _need_ to know..." she whispered. "It's not his..." Quatre turned slowly to face her as she stared into his eyes. "You are the only person I've slept with in the last two months," she whispered in fear that he'd object or react negatively.

"Are you sure," he asked her. "Not that I'm the only... but..."

"I've had a feeling," she whispered. "It just took me a bit..."

"Wow..." he breathed and pulled her closer.

"Are you angry," she asked him.

"For a child," he asked. "No, Hilde... why would I be angry?"

Hilde shrugged lightly and then snuggled closer to him.

"I didn't mean to fall in love with you," he said. "But I did... and I'm happy to know that something of love was created within you... by me..."

Hilde smiled as tears rolled down her cheeks. Quatre dried them quickly by kissing her and pulling her close. Whatever stupidity befelled Duo gave him the right to hold her and have her by his side forever. It was no dream, there were no ghosts... he was sleeping next to her for real.

"I do love you, Quatre..." she whispered before sleep claimed her in his arms.

"As I do you, Hilde," he whispered back. "As I do you."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~