“Heero?”

            Heero Yuy looked up from the place he had been waiting from, leaning on one of the columns before the entrance of the church. Hilde stood above the steps, her hand in her pockets and her mouth wide open, as if not wanting to believe that he was actually standing below her. He gave her a disgruntled look.

            Hilde Schbeiker then immediately placed a hand on her lips, then realizing that maybe she had spoken Heero’s name a little too loudly. But when she looked around, no one seemed to notice - after all, Heero’s name didn’t really sound like one. Maybe they all misinterpreted her outburst for a simple ‘hero,’ and for that, she was relieved.

            But when she looked back at her friend, she noted the impatient look on his face and quickly fled down the steps to join him. She was still surprised to find Heero here, in the church, of all places, after having rejected her so redundantly this morning. She was smiling when she finally reached him, and he didn’t like it too much. “What made you change your mind?” she asked teasingly, if not a bit too curiously.

            He only shrugged as he began walking, making her have to catch up. He just answered in a steady voice, “I passed by; I decided to look. Besides, you’re here, and you forgot to give me my key. So much better than settling for the lock pick, ne?” he asked with a bit of sarcasm, which Hilde didn’t take to heart.

            “So,” she added as she tried to look him in the eye. But he kept his gaze straight ahead, and this made her ask even faster, “How was it?”

            It was either he was in a bad mood or just didn’t want to talk about it since he just shrugged and increased his pace. Hilde sighed as she was left behind by a few steps. So what was ticking him off right now? Was it something she said? The topic seemed to make him uncomfortable. Yes, she thought somewhat wearily as she stared at his back, maybe that was it.

            He then stopped and abruptly turned to look at her. This took her by shock, and she quickly wondered if she had done something to irritate him again. “Well?” he asked, slightly scowling. She looked confused, “Well what?”

            He grunted as he lowered his eyes, “Hurry up.”

            “Oh.”

            At Heero’s even more aggravated look, she ran to catch up with him, half expecting him to finally speak. But at his continued silence, she just sighed and gave up. At least he’d waited for her.

            Suddenly, the thought made her want to smile. That was very thoughtful, she assured in her mind. He could have just left after the mass, or maybe just ignored her and went off back home. But instead, he had patiently waited for her, and was even considerate enough not to leave her behind. She gave a bright smile and tucked a stray wisp of hair behind her ear. In any case, there was still something to smile about. She then turned to look at Heero.

            He wasn’t looking at her, but was much too focused on where they were going. His eyes seemed the opposite though, as if he was debating about something in his mind, or was troubled by something. Hilde sighed, she wished he would tell her about his needs, then maybe she could help. After all, he’d given her more help than she could repay at the moment.

            For a time, maybe they had reached that moment of mutual respect, trust and openness, but it had quickly gone in the morning. Heero was distancing himself again, she realized… and she still hadn’t found an explanation for that. Why? She asked herself once more. She despised situations like those, for they confused her a lot, and their relationship would always seem suspended, as if not improving, at the same time not getting worse. Strangely, it was awkward seeing Heero keep to himself, and it was more uncomfortable since she felt that she couldn’t reach him anymore. She just wanted to see him better, to have him to talk to her, even insult her, just like before. At least she was used to those, and they didn’t prevent her from talking honestly to him or telling him how she felt. It was as if they were going nowhere.

            She wondered why she felt that way, then turned to her side to watch her surroundings, willing herself to be distracted. But the sun-tinged leaves and wealthy flowers did nothing to comfort her. She sighed. Oh, but darn it, whether he liked it or not, Heero meant something to her, and their exchanges with each other kept her going. She enjoyed his company so much and she cared for him, with what that they had been through. He was different and special, someone who accepted her for who she was. She couldn’t stand his unreasonable mood swings any longer.

It hurt. And it hurt more than it should.

            Auch, ye’r getting sensitive! She reprimanded herself, then realizing that the way she spoke in her head indicated something: she was getting out of control. In other words, terribly emotional. She unconsciously stomped her foot on the pavement, thus almost losing her balance. The lamp pole was a few meters away, and she had to grab on to…

            Heero, who was already having difficulty slowing down to keep pace with her irregular walking speed, had noticed when the girl beside him lost her footing. Acting impulsively, he quickly positioned himself to catch her in time. The light burden in his arms did nothing to comfort him from his mind’s confusions though, and he wondered about the reason for the fall.

            He remembered the stomping of her foot and quickly drew the generalization that she was sulking again, which promptly caused him to smile with affectionate amusement. This thankfully went unseen by Hilde, and he asked softly, “Are you alright?”

             She only nodded as she tried to regain her balance and stood on her own. He saw her blushing again as she brushed her skirt, as if she actually fell. She kept her face hidden from him… something he found endearing-no. He shook his head brusquely. Not again. He didn’t want to bother with how he was feeling these days, most of all when they were related to her and her presence. She was becoming a frustrating distraction, and her words never left his head. He wasn’t pleased with that fact. “What is wrong with you?” he asked gruffly, his voice sharper than he’d originally intended.

            And instantly, her posture stiffened and she looked away, suddenly irate. Not wanting to even begin thinking about what her problem was, he just shrugged and started to walk off. Darn the moment, she was taking on his mind again, inevitably bothering his control. He was becoming much too affected. It was something he did not need - something he did not even want to need.

            Hilde just gave him a heated look as he left her behind. He quickly transformed from being so gentle to such a grudge… Her mind was getting frantic and impatient, almost desperate as she wondered about his unusual behavior all over again. She didn’t deserve this from him.

            She then dug her hands into her pockets angrily, but her thoughts were stopped when she felt fresh bills in them. Yes, the extra money she received from her last paycheck. She had only withdrawn them early this morning, almost forgetting that she had them at all. But she had more than enough money for her needs now, with Heero hacking their way out of their bills as of present. She looked above and promised to find every way to pay for them once she had the chance to do so. But for now…

            She then glanced at his retreating figure and smiled. She wouldn’t let him off that easily. He had no right to make her feel that way, or to cut her off so suddenly, leaving her with guilt. She was going to find out what was bothering him, with or without his consent.

            Uh, oh, no you don’t, Mr. Yuy.

            And she was going to enjoy doing so.

~~~

            Nani?

            Heero almost cursed as he nearly jumped with shock because of unfamiliarity when Hilde had grabbed on to his arm and practically dragged him across the street.

            He glared at her, even more irritated because she caught him by surprise, “What are you doing?” he yelled incredulously, immediately feeling the impact of the warmth of her hand on his shoulder. His temper with himself flared. Dame, stop it.

            She just winked at him, ignoring his obvious anger, “You and I, Mr. Yuy, are going to buy our groceries.”

            He was so surprised by the statement that she had no difficulty getting him to walk with her for a few seconds. That was when he frowned; before he could ask her to release him, or even demand an explanation for her unusual decision, she began.

            “Look, Heero, I’m not going to get our needs all the time, you’re going to have to learn to get them for us some other time. Okay?” she asked crisply, in a voice that clearly stated that there was no way for him to get out of the situation, much similar to the mockery in her tone the night she one-upped him with her singing session.

            He almost growled out, “Let me go.”

            She looked at him, passion and determination fierce in her glittering blue eyes. He noticed a speck of despair and urging within them, almost pleading him not to ask any more questions. Aside from that was the extreme stubbornness that refused to back down on him. For a moment, her eyes actually softened, as she whispered, “Never.”

            He was left without word, until she gave him a radiant smile of victory that almost took his mind off the present. “I need you. You’re coming with me.”

~~~

            Tirrill, L4 was really a quaint, attractive place once you got to know it. Heero never really took time to notice the wonderful sights and the beauty of the plain simplicity of the town they were currently staying at. It was the model of a perfectly normal, growing community, with its brick houses and amiable inhabitants. It seemed so easy to fit in, and somehow, this day seemed to just prove that. He had been through the most exasperating experience, ever.

            He wondered at how Hilde got them into a shopping store from the simple plan of buying the groceries, which turned out to be just a can of a potato chips called Tringles, a bundle of celery and two apples, which she claimed to be her favorite. And from there, she had brought him to wait outside as she went to different stores, saying that it had been ‘forever’ since she last went out with leisure, and he was going to have to come with her, regardless of his consent.

            Soon, he found himself in possession of a new set of clothes, something that he stubbornly rejected receiving, but had helplessly ended up accepting due to her scrutiny and threats to buy him more. She just knew how to get what she wanted from him, and because of this he felt disgruntled even more. Aside from that, he also became her reference, because every time she went to take a look at something, she would always go out to him and ask him about his opinion, whether it be a rug for the table or a set of gardening tools.

He then became aware that he suddenly became an important part of every decision. He had unconsciously asked about that out loud, which Hilde heard unfortunately. But she just gave him a knowing grin and answered, “Of course, Heero: you should have a part in every decision - after all, both of us will benefit from this, and it is our home we’re talking about. Aside from that, you have very good judgement despite your grudge appearance, and that, I trust.”

Maybe it was that phrase, -- their home - that caused him to follow her every request and honestly give his opinions.

            Some shopkeepers had noticed them and had even prepared their merchandise for them. Shoppers were surprisingly scarce during this Sunday, and the keepers were basically frantic for buyers. Hilde had her shopping galore then, with other sellers offering her discounts after the other to consider their merchandise.

            She had taken all of the events in stride. In fact, she seemed to work a certain kind of charm on everybody that caused them all to smile whenever she approached them. She seemed to know what she was doing, and had never left him on his own, thus preventing his escape. But he found himself, at one point, enjoying their excursion, especially whenever she inquired about every choice to him, or whenever she found his comments genuinely helpful, particularly when it came to computers and some machinery.

             He remembered that one awkward moment that still left its impact and disturbance on his mind. It had shocked the wits out of him, and left him in a steady state of troubled stupor.

            He had been standing outside a drug store, and Hilde was inside buying rolls of bandages. She had just claimed that they might need them a lot in the future, to which he just shrugged as a reply.  Still quite irritated that she pulled him into the chore, he just stood silently, alternating between being irate, amazed, or simply grateful.

            He then noticed her appearance past the glass of the shop window and noticed how she smiled politely at the man in the counter. He just sighed and looked away. But he heard her slight laugh, and soon irately found himself feebly observing her with the same fascination all over again. She thought about her choices in the purchase and raised a brow unconsciously as she did so, a habit he was beginning to learn, himself.

She was such a contradiction, he faintly thought to himself as he watched her. She could be so innocent, yet so dangerous. She had the looks of a giddy, tomboyish schoolgirl, but had skills roughened in the streets and mastered for survival. She looked so kind and pretty, but had a temper to match his. She could whistle about something and act nonchalant in front of danger, but was dead serious when it came to the people she cared about.

There were many queer things about her, and he found her so different from others, with what she dared and worked to fulfil. She could be so reckless, yet so accurate that at times, her behavior confused him. She was the only one who perplexed and disturbed the life out of him.

             But most of all, she was the only one who dared to smile at him in spite of his glares, to stand up to him when she wanted to, and to touch him whenever she felt the need to. And the strangest, most unbelievable thing was that she had done them all without fear. She sang off-key songs in the bathroom, read sleazy novels and called him all the most creative names. But even with that, she impressed him: she could put people down with her physical dexterity in seconds, and could fire armaments pretty well. She had determination that stood strong through challenges, something definitely worth admiring.

            There were so many things about her. And aside from all those, she made him want to smile. He hated her presence for that. She had that ridiculous hold on him, and she still had no idea about it. Sometimes, she made him feel so weak, and still pleased in spite of the fact.

            She said she needed him, and that he was a sign of God’s love and existence.

            She told him that he could still love.

            He then snorted as he looked around, trying to lighten his warring emotions. She also dragged him to shop with her. Despite this, a vague smile appeared on his face.

            He found nothing wrong with her, not even a negative attitude. There was a sharp feeling within him when he realized that he didn’t want this girl to change. It was such a strong emotion, one that made him feel that extreme desire to protect her from everything that dared hurt her, to take her in his arms whenever she was worried or cried, and to simply forget and keep her there, indefinitely. Hilde made him want to make her happy. He almost trusted her.

            And that was what scared, and hurt him the most.

            Never.

            She gave the man an apologetic grin for having difficulty in choosing the products and having him get them all for her, and the said smile obviously caused the same clerk to pay much more attention to her. Heero could only watch as he felt all the confusion in him evaporate into a sudden white hot feeling of… something. He glanced at his ‘friend,’ who seemed oblivious to the other man’s attention, and infinitely felt smug.

            Suddenly, someone tapped his shoulder, and Heero turned his head, annoyed as he saw a man standing behind him. The plump person seemed intimidated by his look, but only pushed his glasses up his nose and continued with an offering smile, “Sir, will your wife be visiting my store?”

            The packages Heero was holding fell to the floor.

Nani?

            “Wife?” he has asked out loud, his eyes widening measurably as he did so, then realizing fully well who the man was referring to. The blow of his words attacked his senses, and he found himself swallowing hard and unable to speak.

            The man looked confused, “Well, I was referring the young lady whom you are with, back in there. I assumed, since you were together, and we’ve all been seeing you for the past couple of hours… is she not your wife?”

            His heart constricted in his throat as he digested their assumptions. Looking past the man’s right shoulder, he saw many customer-needy shop owners looking at him and the other man. They all thought… he was married to her?

            He was tempted to laugh bitterly at the man’s foolish mistake. But instead, his insides trembled, held tightly by that simple phrase of misconception. The image was a fool’s dream, to see him happily married, and doing shopping, of all things. They had both created an illusion, one that everyone fell for.

            Why was he so affected?

            He found himself wishing that at least some part of that vision, even in the smallest amount, would be true. To live life normally and let go of his past ghosts and sins, to have someone care and accept him and to watch her, knowing that she belonged to him as well. It was something he dared not hope for - an intuition he did not urge to reflect on. To dream, to hope for something more was a curse, something he had long stopped trying. How many times had he failed?

            The rotund retailer regarded the stoic lad before him as he gave a harsh chuckle and shook his head. He seemed troubled but was ironically laughing. There was a disturbed passion in his eyes as he finally faced him and said softly, in a voice that dared intimidate criminals themselves, “You are mistaken.”

            He was laughing… laughing at himself, Heero realized. How much more? How many more times would he fall?

            And the earlier words repeated themselves to him. Never. Never again.

            Yet at the intensity of his words, another frail thought brushed by, leaving an unnerving effect. Never, she had also said. I’ll never let you go. I need you.

            You can still love, Heero Yuy.

            “Hey, Heero. I see you’ve been making friends?” he heard her speaking through the frigid battles in his mind.

He slowly turned around and faced her as she walked nearer, a new set of purchased items in her arms. She went rosy at the slight exertion, and when she noticed how he glanced at her bags, she gave an indignant huff and settled them on her shoulder more comfortably.

            When she noticed how he didn’t reply, she directed her gaze to the shopkeeper, “Auch, not quite friendly, I see,” she remarked, and he immediately noticed the native brogue in her voice, causing him to more than willingly scatter his previous thoughts. She was feeling very awry, as indicated by her voice. Why?

            He saw her watching him earnestly, her gestures asking him what was wrong. He was causing her to worry again, and he only shrugged her concern away - and soon regretted it when he saw the slight frown on her face.

            “Pardon me, miss,” the nosy shopkeeper interrupted, giving her a replica of his earlier smile to Heero. “It was my fault. I assumed a wrong thing and was asking him if you could visit my store.”

            Hilde gave him a gentle grin which indicated the positive response that he was hoping for, but soon curved her brow in confusion, “Yes, but what did you assume?”

            Heero could have strangled the man had he known that he would not let it go, “That you were both married.”

            Hilde froze, and promptly dropped the package she was holding as he had earlier done. And Heero drew a sharp breath as she slowly looked at him.

            It seemed like an eternity when her tentative dark blue eyes probed his face, staring but seeing something else. Her soft gaze held him still, and he returned her look. He saw the color go out of her face and witnessed the short sequence of sadness and confusion in it that went off as quickly as it came. There was a tender look in her eyes as she breathed deeply and watched him.

            For a second, the world did not matter, and it was only the two of them looking into each other’s eyes, unsure of the thoughts brought to them by that simple mistake. Some where hoping, while other dreams were dying, and most expectations quickly disappeared. But she still held his gaze in spite of the resigned disappointment in her. Heero almost swore at the intensity of their uncalled for, sudden connection.

She was the Dreamer, and he was not an angel; he was Destruction.

            But still she didn’t look away.

            And he almost wished that the moment wouldn’t end, her eyes nearly caused him to forget, and her face almost caused him to start wishing, to begin to hope again…

            The man’s clearing of his throat lanced between them like a sword through a thin ribbon. In a moment, everything had disappeared, and they were both sent crashing to reality. She saw her look away tentatively, another unexpected blush rising to her cheeks.

            Yamero.

            “Would you like to visit my shop now?” the shopkeeper asked hesitantly.

~~~

            Minutes later, he found himself seated alone in an outdoor restaurant. He had steadily refused to go with her to the salesman’s shop, and she had been hesitant in leaving him, but seemed even more disturbed by the idea of breaking her promise to the shopkeeper - and staying alone with him.
            She was scared too, wasn’t she?

            And he only shook his head as he moved his seat nearer to the table and under the shade. He didn’t want anyone to recognize him just now, when they weren’t prepared to take on the world yet. And if ever that would happen, their plans would crumble, and their lives… her life would be at risk.

            He sighed as he stared at the bags she left on their table for him to watch and glanced at the money she left for him should he want to order food. Then he grumbled, if that should ever happen, he wouldn’t fail to remind her that it was her fault.

            He didn’t like what took place between the two of them earlier. It was so risky, so frightening - something he had promised never to do again. But she hadn’t let go, had she? She was slowly making things much too complicated with her attitudes. She was making him weak.

            He didn’t want the feelings that were beginning to plague his thoughts. He had no liking to the invasion of his own personal feelings and priorities. Had he expected such a thing to happen after all that he had been through? Never. She was destroying him.

            But, shimatta, he didn’t want her to stop-or leave. He didn’t want to hurt her, not with the ways she was affecting him. And it was getting harder and harder to accept that fact.

            “Young man, do you have any excess change, or some coins?”

            He was startled by the sudden voice that jolted him off his thoughts. His senses always seemed to turn themselves off whenever he thought about her and their current situation. Before him stood an old woman, her back bent and her fingers gnarled. But there was a brilliant sense of grace around her. Despite the ancient appearance of her built, her voice was clear and strong, and her eyes were a sharp and vivid. She had a gentle, contagious smile and the air around her was filled with experience. Heero shook his head over his initial reaction and nodded mutely at the mysterious beggar as handed her all of the money Hilde left for him to use for his meal.

            She gave a good shake of the head when she saw him giving her the donation, but didn’t pay much attention to the amount, for she was looking at him with careful observation, as if studying him. Hero became decidedly uncomfortable, overwhelmed by the intensity of her gaze. He had never had anyone who was that much interested in him. If it weren’t for the welcoming expression on her face, he would have left the place immediately, forget waiting for Hilde and just look for her and drag her home from the meddlesome shopkeeper’s store.

            But he froze when the woman lay a firm hand on his shoulder and sat beside him. He gave her a cautious look as she drew nearer, but didn’t believe he could tell her to leave, what with her telling eyes and mystifying demeanor. He just didn’t want to face her directly. But just as he was about to turn away she suddenly asked, a mischievous quality in her voice, “You really care for her, don’t you boy?”

            He was surprised by the sudden question. “What?”

            She gave a knowing grin, “The dark-haired young lady you were with. It was pretty clear, even to eyes as weak as my own. You kept on watching over her, and she was so careful not to leave you.”

            He was shocked, and then bristled as he grated out steadily, “That, ma’am, I am sorry to say, is none of your business-“

            “Oh, so you’re frightened of caring for somebody like her?” she asked suddenly, her voice amused but her eyes sharper. She then shook her head, “Aren’t we all?”

            When Heero didn’t reply, she continued with a small chuckle and looked off at a distance. “You young people… always pretending to be so strong. That is the main difference between our generations. We experienced ones also claim to be strong so many times, yet we accept the fact that we are also weak and not perfect; you haven’t.”

            She gave him a slight look, then took his chin in her wrinkled hand and glanced at his stormy eyes, ignoring his disturbed look. She then gave another smile as she mused, “You don’t have to be scared, lad. I’ve seen her eyes too; they reflect the same way yours does. She cares - so much more than she is willing to admit and accept. Exactly like you.”

            She tenderly released him as his eyes grew wider, then shook her head. “So many forces… so many obstacles. I’ve seen it all. Mayhap it be another person? Or an unresolved past relationship? Or perhaps it is the future you fear most of all?”

            Heero shook his head then stared off, unable to bear the lady’s accuracy any longer. It was making him realize more things than he knew, or ever intended to know. And as a result, the turbulence within him increased. “I do not know what you are talking about,” he began, but stumbled in his words.

            Duo - for the first time, he felt envy when he heard his former comrade’s name, for he possessed the normalcy Heero had always wanted to have, as well as the ability to carry it through. Duo was the only person he knew to smile whenever everyone felt like the world had frozen over. He was the only one who could be so reassuring that it hurt to watch him.

            And most of all, he had someone. Not just someone, he had ---- Yamero.

            Relena Darlian Peacecraft. The person who had possessed his heart completely, and had made it so hard for him to hold on to his missions and concepts. She was the one who first made it possible for him to feel any emotion other than hate. But because of his own foolishness, she was gone, had given up on him. All because of his unwillingness, his fear to try…

            Why didn’t she wait for him?

            And the phrase tore at his soul as his former ache returned with full force. He had been trying, had buried his own regrets with his distractions. But the wound was there, and the pain was still prominent. And yet, had he really loved her, and had she loved him?

            Loving is also hurting.

            He remembered Relena’s voice, Heero, you weren’t there…you were already gone. And instantly, he felt the same feeling of remorse, of shattering pain all over again. But before he could dwell on his suffering, he recalled another voice, saying a message that was more prominent and full of meaning, whispering to him, Challenge… love, Heero. To feel pain but to heal, to make mistakes but to learn… To grow.

            Black Star. An organization that threatened their world today, that forced to remove the peace and return the cursed circumstances they all feared… the wars and the hurt they could cause. It was strongly linked to Hilde’s past, and she was going to face them. Their sign was permanent on her back, scarred for some unknown reason. He knew how influential and destructive they could be, for memories of Hilde’s connection with them, which caused her to cry in her sleep at night proved that. It could destroy her, and him as well.

            A future… and what did it hold?

            He did not know. He didn’t want to know.

            Because he feared. By goodness, he feared again - so much. And he didn’t want to anymore; he didn’t want to hide from the pain. And yet it left him so vulnerable. Like the boy of so many years ago, he was defenseless. So…

            Weak.

            And everything all came down to her name.

            Hilde…

            “You fear,” the old woman’s voice concluded his thoughts, and he found himself listening solemnly to her. “You fear many things, but most of all, you fear her. You fear for her.”

            Her forest green eyes glittered as she continued. “Yet you care, you care so much that it hurts. And as a result, you hurt her too.” At his sharp intake of breath, she went on without pausing. “But don’t fear, young man. Because the more you fear, the more you will destroy everything, just like before.”

            And he couldn’t speak, not sure whether to be outraged or overwhelmed by her precision. Heero lowered his gaze, as if hurt, but she went on. “You have nothing to be afraid of, not with her by your side. You can face your fears and hurts together, and win over it all.”

            She placed a palm on his cheek and lifted him to look at her, “Lad, you wouldn’t find a girl like her so easily, as you find diamonds on the street. She is rare, and you will regret giving pain to her. She accepts you, and she understands. Don’t throw what you have away.”

            But before Heero could think about what she meant, or ask about how she knew all about what she said, she sat up abruptly and turned away, swiftly walking out of sight. Heero quickly tried to follow, but he felt someone else watching him.

“Heero?”

           He turned and saw Hilde standing almost behind him and was shocked by her sudden appearance, but more so with the effect she had on him. She had an eyebrow slanted thoughtfully, her eyes wondering, with her chin tipped lightly in gentle inquisition. On her arms was a large package that seemed to take an effort to hold. Her cheeks were again flushed over the exertion, and her hair was in mild disarray. He almost cursed; confounded, blaming the old woman that had disappeared. Now wasn’t the time to feel, or to think of useless things, most of all the woman before him. He sighed turned away, wanting to leave.

            Hilde looked at him curiously. She had a lot of time to think as she went to the earlier man’s shop. She had been left shaken by the event earlier, and had decided to stay away from him for the moment. She remembered simply staring at the man’s merchandise wordlessly for a few minutes, still contemplating about what happened.

            What was that? It was so… diverse, so thrilling, so wonderful and earth defying. Their sudden connection was so beautiful, poignant, yet brilliant, it almost made her feel so differently whole. To feel his rarely gentle eyes on hers, to actually love seeing him, to hold his soul just as strongly as he had hers… to hope…

            It was impossible. Not with anyone, most especially Heero Yuy.

            The enigmatic, resilient, perfect, Heero Yuy… the cold, unshakeable soldier who cared for no one, who could kill so easily…

            You are so alone, he had said. More than anyone, you could do it. I believe you.

            … The one who had decided to help save her from her own past without any price except her cooperation, who patiently taught her what she needed to know, and the who listened to anything she had to say. He withstood all her ranting with amusement, patched her up during their trainings, paid attention to her needs and adjusted to her moods. He never hit her despite all their arguments and her imperfections.

He made her want to smile that sometimes she could almost feel him smile back. He encouraged her despite her lack of skill, he protected her, helped her and held her… he was there, when she needed someone the most.

            And most of all, he accepted her for who she really was and what she had been through.

            Only then did she realize how important he was in her life, and how much she really depended on his presence. It was a painful and shocking revelation, to comprehend how much she was vulnerable without him now, or how much she really owed him, all of which where he never asked for anything in return.

            Heero… he cared, and she cared… even more, much more…

            Duo.

            She had gasped out loud. Even the shopkeeper was surprised by her sudden outburst, but had turned to attend to another customer. She could only ponder on the confusing turn of her thoughts…

            That was when she spotted it underneath the glass cover, it was magnificent.

            Suddenly, all recollections flew away, and she knew she had to get it. A gift for Heero…

            And here she was, standing before him, very nervous. She hadn’t forgotten about the incident earlier, but was just as excited about what she was going to do. She was willing to let go of all worries, most of all because they were exactly what she didn’t need right now. But all anxiety returned when he looked away from her, as if appalled by her sudden appearance. She frowned, was he upset because of…

            “You didn’t eat.” She announced slowly, nervously.

            He seemed to catch the hesitant note in her voice, and stood stiffer, more cautious. Hilde wondered at this, but decided that she wouldn’t let him simply act that way with her. After all, he hadn’t been the only one affected about what happened earlier. But if he could at least try to act cordial…

            She sighed, this was Heero-he was never cordial; the thought strangely made her want to smile. Suddenly feeling encouraged, she dug into her coat pocket and handed a box to him. “Here.”

            He acted so surprised, she almost lost hope, but then he slowly turned his eyes to the box she was holding out to him. Looking suspiciously at her, he took the box quietly and stared at it. “What is it?” he asked, his voice surprisingly steady, not angry but soft.

            She smiled, “It’s for you, dummkopf.”

            He ignored her gentle teasing and opened the container with sudden ease. She watched with eager, yet content anticipation as his eyes narrowed to see what it held. And inside, encased in soft paper, was a silver chain. His eyes widened as he drew it out slowly and revealed the pendant.

            It was a pendant of a wing, perfected in its every curve, every feather boldly spread out in majestic flourish. It was only the half of a pair of wings, but the proud way it was opened gave the figure a different meaning, an air of prominent and beautiful authority. Like the wing of an avenging angel, it was small and seemed sharp-edged, but the way it was crafted and oriented made it easy to notice, and the impression around it exuded a grace that definitely demanded attention. He closed his fist around it and felt the edges… they didn’t hurt him at all.

            He slowly opened his hand and glanced at the necklace, then back at the girl before him. His throat was dry when he asked out, “Why?”

            She glanced at the necklace, then back at him, her voice had a wistful quality when she answered him, “When I saw it, it immediately reminded me of you.”

             She then started to sound embarrassed and began stuttering, but her frantic mind gave no notice. “And you’ve been so… considerate in helping me and all… I didn’t hesitate. I just wanted to give it to you, I guess as a sign of my gratitude.”

            Heero looked at the necklace and felt strangely pleased when he let the pendant drop to view the necklace at its full length. She bought it… for him. She could have bought something more useful as a symbol of her gratitude, but he knew he would still prefer it… It meant that she didn’t fear… Yet, it was a wing-

            “What made you think of me?” he asked lightly, regarding the pendant.

            She blushed immediately, and he couldn’t hold on to his frustration any longer. He waited patiently for her to answer, immediately freed of all anger. She then took hold of the hanging pendant before him.

            “I’m not sure,” she tried to explain, stammering while blushing even more unnaturally. “It just… made me think of you... with Wing Zero, your majestic Gundam and how you pilot it as its master. I… it reminded me of you so badly. And, well, since you had always been there to help me, I didn’t hesitate at all. Just like…”

            She blushed, embarrassed and feeling shameful at the weakness at the same time.

            He was torn between being ashamed and fiercely proud.

            “I… have no use for trinkets.” He announced breathlessly.

            “But you’ll wear it,” she challenged back her voice just as soft. Her eyes shone brilliantly in defiance and her mouth had a slight smile.

            And they both stared at each other.

~~~

            He kept it in his pocket.

            He could throw the necklace away, to have it gone from his hands forever. It was a sign of the weakness that they were both experiencing those very moments. He still didn’t accept the fact that Hilde’s mere presence was beginning to affect him in ways he never imagined before. He wasn’t open to the thought that he was becoming strangely emotional, and therefore vulnerable just almost a few months after his broken tie-in with Relena Darlian. He didn’t expect her to grow on him so quickly, much more than others. He didn’t anticipate that he would start… caring. It appalled him, just like her offering did.

            He placed a hand into his pocket and fingered the necklace. But he didn’t expect anyone like Hilde to care for him also, to take him in, respect him, and treat him in an especially normal way. She gave it to him, as a gift, a sign that she remembered him. He knew he couldn’t throw it away after realizing that truth. It didn’t matter what such an inclination meant, but he had already made up his mind.

            He sighed as he typed on his laptop to search for recent news that would be helpful to them. It was rare for anyone to give him something, much less as a gift.

They both left shortly after she gave the necklace, with her saying that she was too tired to eat. She had just grabbed an apple and helped carrying the packages as they began walking. Things seemed to resume their normal air after the gift, and there was no insecurity when they walked back. She just couldn’t stop talking about all that she did that day and what she would do with what she bought. He also felt the same ease, answering every now and then, though skilfully dodging questions about the beggar who told him so much.

            Heero sighed as he activated a file. These days were exerting much pressure on them. There were many times where they had felt strong bonds with each other, all which ended up in awkward situations. They went well as good house companions, yet sometimes they were too comfortable-which would lead to someone distancing from the other, namely him from her. And then all would return to the neutral state, which was what he would define ‘now.’ Comrades in a mission, or probably even friends: that was what they were.

            He heard her light laughter from the porch. And it tickled his senses when he realized that he hadn’t heard her laugh like that in quite a long time. The sound was simply entrancing, so filled with mirth. Then he suddenly realized that maybe what bothered him was that he never laughed like that before.

            He heard another voice piping in at her chuckles, then finally comprehended that she was not alone - and they were disturbing him. Shrugging, he stood up from his workstation (which was currently the laptop on their dining table) and headed to the foyer. And when he started hearing the strums of a guitar, he lengthened his steps.

            When he took a small look at the doorway, he saw a child with ruffled brown-red hair, a pipsqueak that seemed no more than seven years old. He was sitting on the other side of the porch steps, listening animatedly as Hilde sat before him, strumming experimentally on a guitar. She was fixing the cords and announcing proudly that she once knew how to play it. And Heero simply couldn’t leave at the interesting scene; he smirked from his position when he heard her brag.

            “Well, play!” the child ventured more, curious.

            “Yes, yes Nicky... Hmm,” She plucked on all of the strings one at a time, finally contented with the way they sounded. “You said you owned this guitar?” she asked as she tried to play a short tune.

            Nicky, whom Heero had no idea where came from, nodded arrogantly. “Yeah. Sort of - Dad owns it, and I’m gonna play for my girlfriend. We do that here, we call it se-seren-“

            “Serenade,” Hilde gently completed for him. “The people here seem to have some Spanish influence on their background. Judging from the style of the buildings… then the names of the shops, then the customs,” she said to herself. Then she gave a teasing smile to Nicky, “You have a girlfriend?”

            He seemed insulted, but smiled at Hilde’s wink. “Yes, she’s thirteen years old and she lives two blocks away from here.”

            Hilde just shook her head at the possibility of a seven year-old boy courting a thirteen year old girl two blocks away from his house, or how his parents could even allow such a thing. Grinning amusedly to herself, she straightened up and asked him, “So, what do you want to hear?”

            “Do you have a boyfriend?”

            Heero could only flinch as Hilde almost fell over from her spot on the porch, much too surprised and bewildered. The little kid was aggressive, and Heero could almost laugh over Hilde’s predicament. But still curious about her said ‘guitar skills,’ he only allowed himself a little smile as she grabbed on to the railings for support and tried to sit in a balanced position again. Sighing to herself, she asked again, trying to avoid blushing, “I meant what song do you want to hear?”

            The child brightened, “Oh, that.”

            Hilde just looked up and repeated with relief, “Oh that, indeed.” The young one was going to grow up to be a playboy, she decided. “Well?” she inquired, but the boy seemed to be lost in thought, his eyes lids over his crystal clear blue eyes. Oh, well.

            She strummed a few cords and hummed to herself quietly as she allowed the child to think, “I’ll be your crying shoulder…” she began in a voice that for once, didn’t seem out of tune.

            “I know!” the boy interrupted, to which Heero frowned. “Play my dad’s song to my mom! Yes, the one they sing every time they have their anniversary. It’s called Have You Ever Love…”

            “A Woman?” Hilde asked again, raising an eyebrow, but melted at the sight of Nicky jumping up and down because she had it right. Their neighbor certainly had an energetic boy. “Okay,” she affirmed as she began playing the guitar.

            She was good, Heero commended as he saw her use the instrument and create a nice tune. He had never heard the song before, probably because it was a classic, and he never really paid attention to music. But he saw skill in the way she patted the guitar to draw a drumbeat and affixed her concentration on her task. Yet the boy interrupted again. “Sing!”

            Which, as expected, caused her to blush and stop her music. “What?” she choked out in queasy voice, causing Heero to uncharacteristically smile wider.

            “Sing,” the boy repeated, tugging at the sleeve of the girl’s blouse. “You can’t play the guitar without knowing how to sing.”

            She shook her head and gave a small, nervous laugh, “Believe me, Nicky, you wouldn’t want to hear me, uh, sing.”

            Heero promptly gave a small cough to prevent himself from reacting with a laugh, which Hilde noticed and the boy heard. When he raised his eyes, he saw Hilde glaring at him and the boy looking at him with wide eyes. “Heero!” she scolded, blushing even more.

            “Cool, he’s the guy on TV!”

            To which Hilde froze. But Heero only gave an uninterested grin, “Yes, and you better keep it a secret.” Nicky nodded lively with wide eyes.

            Hilde soon nodded and realized his plan, “See Nicky, you have a TV star living next door,” and Heero was the one who choked at that. “But you have to keep it a secret, or else Mister TV Star and I would have to move far, far from here, then you’d have no TV star to introduce to your friends in the end too, would you like that to happen?”

            The boy immediately shook his head, still turning excited eyes to Heero, who was busy glaring back at Hilde, though her words seemed to work perfectly well. She just gave a wink to the boy and said in a hushed voice, “So, we’ll keep this a secret, okay? Really, if you tell anyone, we’d have to leave.”

            “I don’t want that,” Nicky replied earnestly, “I still have to hear you sing.”

            Hilde nearly fell down on the porch the second time that day, but Heero, luckily, was there to grab her hand. Unfortunately, he had that mocking grin on his face, which Hilde absolutely disliked. But she answered, just to appease the boy, “Yeah, you still have to, erm, hear me sing for you. Just as long as you would keep this big secret between the three of us.”

            He nodded eagerly, “Promise, cross my heart!”

            Hilde nodded, satisfied, and gave a small laugh. But when Nicky turned his attention on the guitar again, she quickly stood. “Um waitaminute!” she announced quickly, “I forgot something!”

            She immediately left the guitar and ran past the door, where Heero was watching her with arrogant laziness in his eyes. She just snorted as she passed him then hissed, “You stay here. I won’t sing in front of the kid, and heck, if you don’t help me, I promise you I’d start singing for you.”

            Heero, knowing fully well what that meant, couldn’t answer as she dashed away. Then he looked at the doorway to the living room, where his work lay, and the kitchen, where Hilde sought solace, and back to the porch, where Nicky was watching him with anticipation.

            Heck, the girl got him into one of these inescapable situations again. First, shopping, now, babysitting. He snorted as he glared into her direction, but realized that the rare embarrassment he saw from her was worth it. The girl could never sing a straight tune.

            When he looked back at Nicky, the boy was giving him a mischievous look, “So, you’re her boyfriend!” he stated triumphantly, pointing a finger at him.

            It was a good thing he wasn’t on the steps of the porch, or he would have fallen just like Hilde had earlier. Why was everyone throwing them at each other? From salespeople to beggars, and now even children? He almost yelled an angry word. Were they really like that? They hardly even looked like they owned each other. It was like the day was meant for just that.

            He could almost feel the anxiety that came every time someone thought Hilde and him just that. But before the same insecurity and anger came, the boy reached out for something in his bag behind him. “Here,” he mumbled, “I have something for you.”

            Heero looked on, almost impassive as the boy produced a yellow chrysanthemum. “I was going to give it to my girlfriend,” Heero sighed as the boy began, what was he doing wasting his time with a little boy, of all people? But he listened as Nicky continued. “Then to Miss Hilde, but since she’s yours already,” Heero flinched at that, “let’s just have this for you.”

            Heero’s eyes widened. “What?” This boy was giving a flower to him?

            The boy sighed impatiently, as if Heero was the one who should know what it meant. “We’re gonna see if she loves you, or if she loves you not.”

            This time, Heero was more than confused, “Nani?” he asked again to himself. But the boy just nodded and dragged Heero to sit beside him. Then slowly, he started plucking the petals one by one, “She loves you, she loves you not. She loves you…”

            “What is this all about?” Heero almost growled out, but the child took no notice as he gave Heero a cheerful smile. “This is your flower, if the last petal says she loves you, then she does, if it doesn’t, well, that means ‘she loves you not.’”

            Then the boy continued on his small activity, which left Heero just watching him. People had the strangest customs… how could a flower tell whether a person loved another person or not? Anyway, if it ended up in the negative, one could always pluck another flower and try his or her luck - and love wasn’t simply that, was it? People, especially women and children, are so confusing. The concept of Love was even more complicated.

            But he found himself anticipating the result of the game just as much as the boy did. But the chrysanthemum had so many petals that it took more than three minutes to reach the end. The boy looked on eagerly as he plucked on the last three petals.

            “She loves you not, she loves you, she loves you not!” he finished, proud to accomplish such a task. Then he looked at the empty flower, then back at Heero. “I guess that means she doesn’t love you. Can I have her?”

            Heero only stared at the bare flower and shrugged apathetically. Well, even the simple flower proved that - there was nothing to it. Nothing at all. He had been building his own thoughts and emotions all over again, only to find that there would be nothing. It was hopeless… worthless to hope.

            He stood up roughly and gave a small nod to the boy’s direction, feeling so frustrated and angered at once. His mood was so dark that he knew staying one more second with the boy wouldn’t be good for the both of them.

Shimatta, it’s just a flower, but the unexplainable disappointment and bitterness in him proved more. Suddenly, he didn’t feel like staying anymore, in the porch, or maybe in the house. He only announced in a clipped voice that he was leaving for a while before he headed back in side to get his coat. How one insignificant little game managed to bring out the worst in him, he couldn’t explain and didn’t want to understand. It was so uncharacteristic, yet he felt really affected.

            “Wait!” the boy’s voice stopped him, and Heero had to control himself to look back, “What?” he almost hissed out.

            Nicky’s eyes were shining even more with enthusiasm, “Look!”

            He turned the flower, and there, almost undetectable, was a tiny petal. “I didn’t see that!” he pouted as he plucked at the petal, “See? She loves you! That means I can’t have her for a girlfriend.”

            Heero froze in his position, and watched slowly as the boy showed him the small teardrop of a petal… and he found himself staring at it. Then he wondered about his unusual reaction to the outcome of the game.

            Nicky laughed as he kept the stem back in his bag. “That’s it! It might not be obvious, and we might not have really noticed, but she loves you too!”

            And his words went straight to Heero.

            Hilde suddenly came running back, “Heero, I just read in the news the reason why there weren’t so many shoppers!” she declared breathlessly, her eyes shining with exhilaration. “The people are preparing for a fiesta celebration this evening. This town has a Spanish majority, and they are holding a dance in the Park Square this evening. They were all busy preparing for the event!” Then she raised a fist. “I want to go to the dance,” she informed him.

            Then she noticed his stunned silence and Nicky’s impish face. “Uh, would anyone mind telling me what just happened?”

            Silence that spoke louder than words answered her ignorant question.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~