Heero almost felt like smiling within; somewhat.
He had never felt that way before.
He sat down, reading the newspaper as Hilde again bustled through the
kitchen; their usual morning scene. After the incidents on yesterday, it
seemed like nothing had happened, for neither talked about it and nor did
Hilde pressure him on explanations and talking more. He never felt like
talking. He was glad she understood how he wanted to be treated that moment.
They had forgiven each other, as
a friend he thought in his mind. He had been astonished at her preposition
the night before. But then he realized that it might have been true, with the
way they had been getting along. Hilde had never forced him into doing
anything, and like a ‘friend’ - he assumed, she had indirectly given him
guidance. Along with the thoughts of earlier that night, and with the negative
ones mysteriously disappearing, he had found himself wanting to agree on the
subject. Ironic, he never trusted before.
His hands tightened on the newspaper. Do
I trust her? Why had the surprising fall of barriers come so soon?
He shook his head, she was what he supposed a friend, but he wouldn’t
trust her. Not yet.
That’s not how you treat one.
As thoughts trailed on to the past night and the other days as well, he
recalled his actions. He then remembered how he had been cared for, and how he
had been fighting the turmoil in his mind. Ever since last night, all
confusion in his head had evaporated along with the peace they both made.
He dropped the newspaper and flinched involuntarily, not understanding
what his mind was going on to. Another amount of questions made their way into
his head again. This time, he found himself looking at her again. He was new
to the act of being accepted, or accepting others as well, maybe he had been
feeling neurotic about it.
The large change in feelings and behavior in such a short time suddenly
confused him. He felt irate and annoyed all of a sudden.
“Oh - Heero,” Hilde suddenly spoke out.
He turned to her.
She smiled, “Leave that section of the newspaper out, okay? I think
I’m going to be checking it later, and I wouldn’t want to have to look for
it again,” she said, pointing to the business section.
He nodded, and she returned back to her cooking.
What would a girl like her find interesting in the business section?
He scanned the said sect and found nothing unlikely, except for the
sale of machinery and parts, buyers and all other usual paraphernalia. He
raised an eyebrow, while the little fight yesterday had been solved, he
remembered that his problems about Hilde’s upbringing and situation were yet
to be finished. He still didn’t know anything.
He returned the paper silently and thought to himself. Several minutes
later, Hilde came with the fried rice and eggs. “Here, eat,” she motioned
to him.
He watched her silently during the meal, and noticed as she passed over
the sales of old weapons and parts. Her eyes widened, and they darted past
each record. She had soon lost attention from her food and into the newspaper.
“It’s begun... this can’t be…”
She suddenly looked at him and caught him watching.
Their eyes locked, and his demanding ones asked her the question in his
mind.
She looked away, as if burned by the force of his eyes.
“Heero, you’d be the first to know, if ever possible.” She said
haltingly. She looked down, then stood after a few seconds. “I think I’m
going to go up for a while. Enjoy your meal.”
He watched as she went up immediately and waited for the click of the
lock of her door. Then he read the headline in the newspaper.
“Mechanical MS Parts To Be Sold to Gov’t Stolen.”
Hilde sighed as she lay in her bed. Heero had been gone all day, as
usual, not leaving a word about where he was heading. She knew she had no
right to intrude, though. After all, who was she to him? It was good enough he
returned during nights.
Her thoughts returned to the article she had seen in the newspaper a
day ago. They’re already starting…
she thought sadly. And no one knows a
thing. I want to help, but I can’t put more lives in danger. She sighed.
Why her? Her life had already been half-destroyed, why can’t they be
contented without taking the other half?
She huddled herself and curled into a fetal position, suddenly feeling
scared and ashamed… if only she could do something -yet the threat was so
large, and they were on the manhunt for her, the traitor, she
couldn’t…
She buried her face in her pillow. She had been trying, hadn’t she?
She trained every afternoon in the basement - she would do well…
If only I’d know what to do
now. She suddenly felt so weak and homesick that she clutched the pillow
tighter as a reaction. She then moaned; her problems had taken their toll on
her again, she couldn’t relax. She could never, she thought as her eyes
started burning with tears.
And she turned to look at her side; she was shocked to see someone
standing there.
There he was, eyes shining mischievously, brown braid being swung
around carelessly in his hand. He had a teasing smile, and a laughing facial
expression. His lithe figure was silhouetted against the faint light of the
eager moon. She couldn’t believe her eyes.
“Duo?”
her voice was incredulous when she asked.
The violet-eyed man grinned at her and muttered a sweet, “Stupid
girl. What would you do without me, you tomboy?”
Her eyes filled with more tears and flashed angrily, yet every bit as
happily, “I’m no longer a tomboy.”
“Your hair’s still shorter than mine,” he pointed out as he held
his braid in one hand, his eyes flashing naughtily.
“Uh, huh… and you always whine about me fixing it for you. And we
know who the female really is in here,” she threw back, and he was shot into
silence. “You got me there, Schbeiker.” He then noticed her eyes
Then he slowly sat in her bed and took her in his arms, slowly rocking
her. “You’re crying.” He stated.
Hilde tipped her head to him, “I am…”
And she closed her eyes and decided to let her dream illusions of Duo
by her side leave her. But as her lids shut, the tears continued to flow.
“…so alone.”
Heero decided against lock-picking Hilde’s front door again. After
all, she had given him the keys. He smirked, she trusted him - why did it
make him feel so good?
He entered the house and was greeted by the deep blue darkness it
opened to him. But luckily, the light at the end of the staircase was left
open; Hilde had been considerate enough to do that for him every night.
He removed his coat and went to climb upstairs. He usually spent his
days moving and looking about, careful to keep himself hidden and unrevealed;
he didn’t want his location to be pointed out.
This day, he had gone out researching about the article earlier and all
files on Hilde Schbeiker. Although he trusted her sincerity, he was more onto
what she was hiding; something he predicted was large and urgent.
The mechanical parts used for the production of Mobile Suits and other
military artillery, whether for space, land, air, or sea, were all
confiscated, and were meant to be destroyed from the start. The presence of
weaponry and other armed forces lessened the decree for a better life in peace
between the earth and the colonies. This was why their Gundams had been sent
to a no-return trip to the sun for destruction in the first place.
However,
despite the constant disintegration of all dolls and systems, the parts were
said to be a great loss, and the government had decided to recycle them for
other, more useful purposes. The nation had agreed to this, but if such parts
were placed to other uses, they could be dangerous… they could reproduce, or
even improve the battle artillery of the colony war. And if such a thing
happened, it could mean worldwide threat and international panic.
A highly secured team was sent to take watch over the transport of
these parts to the government’s bases. But as the news had relayed, the
parts were found missing, stolen, they had decided. And indications of a new
threat continuously shook the government body.
The article was conveniently located at the business section, where
there were the cash transaction proceedings throughout the land. Yes, the
government brought the parts - it was a business issue, but he suspected
that the real reason the news was placed there was to avoid mass panic and
hesitation.
Was this what Hilde had been worried about? It was such a largely
complicated issue.
He passed through her room silently. Yet suddenly, a disquieting
feeling breached him, and he immediately felt an urge to do something. He
stopped before he moved any further.
A moan reached his ears.
His eyes narrowed, and carefully, he faced Hilde’s door.
What’s
wrong? Not giving
attention to what was actually happening, the worried feelings within him took
the direction of his mind, and he opened the door and carefully stepped in.
It
was the only room he hadn’t entered in the whole house. And he strangely
felt a sense of wonder, amazement, and sudden interest as he entered it.
Very organized, a large suitcase and another huge shoulder bag lay on
one corner of the room. His eyes glazed over the table, where many documents
were placed neatly. One was particularly placed in the middle, and it sparked
his attention. He turned to reach for it.
But he was stopped by another moan.
Hilde, he thought. Sighing over the interruption, he turned around.
And saw.
It was…
(“…Majestic.”
Dr. J whispered with reverberating anticipation veiled within his words, and
Heero watched as the man placed trembling hands on his creation…)
He had never seen anything like it. Her eyes were gently closed, like
butterfly wings settling over her. And her pale face looked beautiful in the
milky cerulean color of the moon, which has always lain before her window,
like motherly protector. One hand lay beside her head, and her erratic blue
hair lay strewn about in few places, but the majority was smoothened at the
side of her neck. Her mouth was slightly opened, as if whispering.
He realized he was holding his breath. Curses.
She
was beautiful.
He then turned around, not caring
about the situation, or its sudden effects on him for that matter. He closed
his eyes and walked towards the door, trying to ignore the warning in his head
that spoke of her earlier pain. But he didn’t heed it, then held the
doorknob.
He had to get out of there, fast.
Damn her, he thought unconsciously, remembering someone, a woman whose
face he couldn’t remember at the moment.
He heard the ruffling of sheets and froze. Remorse and resentment rose
within him, and he inwardly cursed as he faced her again.
And then, it was the same, damnable scene, with her rolling to her
side, breathing deeply and holding the covers close. The picture had become
different, but was at the same time more - he scowled.
But he then found his eyes had softening, and that his hand was
reaching out to touch her cheek, as if wanting to finger a part of the
strangely mystifying scene… if just for once, his mind was whispering.
And he realized what he had been doing, immediately drawing back,
disgusted at himself.
Feelings flooded into him, most of them unknown and undecipherable. A
part of those thoughts felt negative, claiming him disloyal somehow. Yet the
latter, stronger part of the surge felt positive, as if pleased. He grudgingly
recognized the strength of those feelings.
He
felt the strange pressure on his cheeks again and placed his attention on a
different matter, wondering again if she had been the source of the noise
earlier. But his efforts turned useless. He was suddenly bleary and wary
against the attack of emotions he couldn’t understand. He didn’t know what
to do.
Another swell of conflicting impulses rose within him. In confusion, he
angrily curled his fists, but all normal and reasonable thoughts left him. I
don’t understand. He bristled.
“No… Ich bin Hilde Schbeiker, twenty-six, kein Heidi Van Schnell.”
--Hilde
out of the moment called out in her sleep, surprising him. She then moved
anxiously to her right, and her breath started to heave faster than normal.
His eyes narrowed intently as his attention returned to the situation
at hand. Hilde had thrashed to her left and started saying muted words.
“It hurts…” she whispered helplessly as her brows raised and her
lids tensed. “I didn’t do it…
Why do you keep on…”
She started kicking and shaking. Eyes widening, Heero decided on her
safety and quickly moved, lowering his arms to pin her so to prevent her from
harming herself. “It’s different. I can’t hurt anyone - not anymore…
Don’t-- make me a murderer!”
Heero’s eyes narrowed this time as he heard the word. Staring down at
her, he thought briskly in his mind, if not a bit angrily, Who
are you and what have you been through? He noticed the bead of sweat
trickling down her forehead and felt suddenly concerned. Ignoring the previous
protests of his mind, he slowly turned to finally wipe it away.
He flinched. So soft…
As his touch met her face, everything was suddenly calm. His chest felt
light, and his consciousness soon awakened to the sight of his hand slowly
traveling from her cheek to her forehead, savoring the wonderful feel of soft
skin against his rough palm. Holding her delicate image in his careless arms,
wiping the tears away, gently moving to remove the sweat… ultimate concern
suddenly releasing for the woman beside him. So slowly, almost cautiously, he
found himself caressing her.
“You are so alone…”
Hilde stopped moving, he breathing returned to normal, and everything
all at the moment became quiet.
Heero frowned silently as everything lay unmoving in the still of the
room, his thoughts rising once more. What was happening to him?
Before he could further himself, Hilde’s hand suddenly covered over
his seemingly content ones. He gasped and wondered if she was awake, but had
been positive of her deep state of slumber. Quietly, he tried to move his
awkward hand away but she had a firm hold on it.
Her soft, tensed hands held his, “Duo,” she half said, almost
relieved in her sleep.
A red hue marked his face, and he felt ashamed and dismayed, almost
insulted. He then drew his hand away despite the physical protest, and decided
to leave, for she seemed well already. He suddenly felt disappointed and
incomplete, but left the reasons to the fact that he didn’t find anything
and that he was feeling confused.
But as he stood up, Hilde shrieked and grabbed on to him.
“Duo, don’t leave me,” she begged tearfully. “Please, forgive
me…”
And Heero stood there, motionless, watching as the woman beside him
clung with fear to his other arm, thinking
him another person. She wiped his arm with her tears, and kept on asking
him not to leave.
“Duo… please,” she cried, her eyes still closed.
Heero suddenly felt like he wanted to leave, and a sickening feeling
dreaded his stomach. He didn’t know whether he was going to remove his hand
as he wanted to, or to keep it were it was.
But Hilde’s eyes opened, “Heero!”
What… Heero’s head
snapped back to meet hers.
Her eyes were confused, the haze of a terrible vision still in them. As
if losing all sense of thinking, she grabbed on to him like he was her
lifeline. “Please, please don’t leave me alone… they’re coming…”
He stared at her as she hugged his arm to hers; never letting go -
and he suddenly felt useless, not knowing what he should do. That had never
happened to him before. Yet the great concern that was for her suddenly welled
within him. She shook as she held on tightly to his arm, and the thought all
of a sudden caught him. He should let go.
He
didn’t. Kami, he couldn’t.
A
worried look escaped through his features, and without further warning, he
placed a hand on her shoulder.
“You
were dreaming.” he stated, satisfied that he had intoned the statement in a
perfectly even voice.
But
she shook her head, and her shoulders started racking with more sobs. Sounds
of frustration and fright came from her mouth as she continued to hold on to
him.
He
stiffened, forcing himself not to react
“Please…”
she whispered.
The
sudden impulse to hold her to him besieged Heero, and his eyes narrowed over
the incredibility of that urge. The thought all of a sudden pained him… then
confusing him. What is it with you, Hilde? What are you doing to me? He asked with
scorn. He stared at the dark head laying on his chest, shivering, and most
probably not conscious of her actions - terrified. Who are you? What was happening to him?
Hissing
underneath, he placed his hands on both of her shoulders and gently tried to
push her away. And with the same, steady voice, ordered, “Schbeiker, let me
leave.
She
then turned to him, eyes watering with held back tears. And his glaring eyes
beheld her.
Looking
like she had been slapped in the face, she moved back, as if scared of him.
But her eyes never left him, not until she reached the posts of her bed -
farthest from him - and turned to look away. Her actions were embarrassed,
as if though she had been undignified or had imposed somehow. Yet the
subconscious light still hovered over her eyes. She then crossed her arms over
herself, as if protecting her from him, and looked away.
He
stared at her with wide eyes as she did so… suddenly feeling full of
remorse.
“I’m
sorry… not Duo,” she voiced unsteadily as she interrupted his thoughts,
choking as she did so, then closed her eyes.
Eyes
wide with sudden shock. He watched her as large tears fell from underneath her
long lashes. Unimaginable, this was the same Hilde who had conquered Duo, the
one who had put Heero in his place, the only one who had bravely corrected
him, yet she was all at the moment so vulnerable. And a pain ached within him,
and an intuition that showed him that it was his fault. The pain was abstruse
- he didn’t know where it had come from. Along with the conflicting urge
to still…
No.
Yes. Damn you.
And
all of a sudden, he had lashed off himself and was holding her tightly against
him, as if nothing else mattered in the world. Closing his eyes, he allowed
her to hold herself to him and cry out her fears. His arms tightened around
the girl, whose presence felt so right in his arms and chose to forget the
world around them. He had slowly buried his face in her hair, and soon, his
own tears fell, as he slowly chanted words again and again, “Itai, itami…
gomen… gomen nasai, watashi no reikon.”
And
in his eyes, he saw himself - Hilde - as the young child he had been
countless nights before, crying his heart as well… terrified.
But
he had no one to hold him then.
Morning was a miracle to Hilde as she awoke to fresh rays of the sun.
She had longed to see it since the night before, fearing she might not meet it
due to the visions of the evening. Had she dreamt again?
She looked at herself, finding her arms in a comfortable position
beside her. Her blankets were well arranged on her too… an unexplainable
thing, for she knew that she always woke in tangled blankets due to the... she
flinched, dreams. And she was positively sure about the occurrence of another
one the night before. She shook her head, deciding not to think of it for the
moment.
She slowly got up, raising her arms over her head. Groaning, she stood
up and dragged her feet to the dresser, suddenly feeling like she had a
headache. She faced the mirror as she wondered about what really happened to
her…
And she saw dark red circles under her eyes, along with the sides
blotted pink.
Had I been crying? She
thought in wonderment as she suddenly panicked.
Then she looked around, taking time… only to realize that it was
late. She usually woke before the sun was up to prepare breakfast, it was a
biological habit of hers. And she couldn’t remember anything happening last
night, nothing that could explain her unusual headache and her eyes. Was her
alarm clock broken?
She padded over to the said object, and studied it, finding that the
alarm button was turned off. What? Her brows wrinkled… she had set this the
night before!
Her eyes narrowed, what was happening? She couldn’t start the day
right this time. Without breakfast, and Heero waiting downstairs for her to
cook…
Heero!
He
was probably - She didn’t finish her thoughts as she ran out of the room
and headed for the dining place, in her sleepwear.
And
there he was
When Hilde reached the dining room, she was gasping for breath and had
to place both hands on the doorposts for support. She had been sleeping
after all. After catching her breath, she turned to slowly look around the
room.
She didn’t spot him until her eyes rested on the large doorway
adjoining the dining room and the kitchen, on which he was leaning on.
He was glaring at her.
Her eyebrow raised at this, he
always does that. She sighed, “Okay, so I’m sorry I wasn’t able to
cook breakfast. I was late.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, an amused expression marring his
eyes. Wondering, Hilde frowned, then looked at the dining table.
Food. There was food.
Food?
“Since when could you cook?” she demanded, her eyes slitting as she
accusingly pointed a finger at him. Underneath the action were an incredulous
expression and an excited voice. On the table was a variety of perfectly made
goods - bread, eggs, pancakes and coffee - she did not
want to believe.
He shook his head, his mouth allowing an arrogant smile. “One cannot
survive alone without the ability to cook.”
The conversation was leading to something else - and they were both
enjoying it, she realized. Placing both hands on her waist, she pointed out,
“Heero, trainees are taught to hunt and to roast - nomadic skills, not to
cook.
He smirked, “Gundam pilots were trained differently. Were you trained to cook as well?”
“Aa,” she counteracted, deliberately ignoring the intended remark.
“I’ve spent years trying to teach Duo how to cook. Till today, he still
doesn’t understand a thing about kitchen work.”
He closed his eyes lazily; “Then the talkative pilot has been making
a fool out of you, after all.”
“What?” she screeched inevitably, losing all remnants of sleep.
He shook his head, thoroughly pleased with her reaction. Lifting a
finger, he pointed to the refrigerator door near him. Her large eyes followed
his direction to the receipt attached to it. Her eyes widened even more.
He threw her a glance and stood up to walk away before saying, “I
used the money found by the mirror in the hallway to buy our breakfast from
the eatery downtown.”
Hilde took in a sharp breath.
He proceeded in leaving the room.
That was when her hand suddenly hit his head.
Heero snorted at the barely painful, yet increasingly insulting action
(he was satisfied with it though - as strange as it is, he thought, smirking
again). He turned back to Hilde, who was behind him, her hands white from the
fists they had formed at her sides. He sneered a loud, “What?”
She shook behind him, anger and embarrassment evident in her face,
“That wasn’t funny.”
Obviously. “Duo Maxwell
doesn’t cook.” he clarified, to appease her. “That would amend.” And
he furthered in his trek to the door leading outside.
Hilde sighed, muttering a discreet “Heero Yuy doesn’t play tricks
either,” before turning to sit by the table.
An alarmingly mollified and fulfilled look marked his face at that. His
eyebrow raised at his reaction… he seemed too much attacked by those
feelings these days, darn.
But he was caught when Hilde asked out in a confused voice, “Heero,
wait - what happened last night?”
He stopped in his tracks.
Hilde stared intently at the loaf of baked bread in her hands. “I
don’t remember anything,” she said quietly. “But this morning seems
strange, I was late. Did I do anything last night? Do you happen to know
what’s wrong with my alarm clock?”
She shook her head, “That was stupid. I know I did something, but I
don’t remember.” She looked at Heero, “I…”
There it was. He was glaring at her again.
This one was more intense.
“W-What?” she stammered, confused by the sudden change of behavior.
“Did something bad happen last night? An attack, or anything?”
His eyes narrowed. “Or was I dreaming again?” she whispered with a
low voice, suddenly worried.
But he kept looking at her, the upset gaze morbidly lancing through
her. He did not reply, and she immediately wondered if what happened the night
before was something too worse to be true. “Heero,”
After long minutes of stony silence, she racked her brain, but the
aftermath of sleep covered her memories of the night before. A chase…
screams, and Duo… that was all.
But Heero’s enraged stare stated more than just that
What happened? He was being stubborn, and the need to know about the
former incidents grew within her. Desperation seized her, and irritation soon
inched its way into her consciousness as she struggled to control herself.
More confused and urgent, she asked this time, “Heero - what the heck
happened -“
“Nightmares,” his voice cut coldly through her words. His incensed
tone continued, “You were hurting yourself, I had to do something. It was a
nuisance.”
She gasped.
Silence settled over the room once more.
Hilde turned away and bowed down, ashamed. My
nightmares… he’s seen me in my sleep. Oh Lord, what am I to do? she
asked her Maker painfully. Wetness found its way into her eyes as she
recognized the danger of such an event, Heero would know - and she didn’t
remember a thing, curse it all. It was embarrassing, for he saw… he saw
her…
She choked.
Her damned, shameful Past.
But… Of all things,
He
thought it was a
nuisance.
Her eyes became moist, she knew that was going to happen. It was
expected.
“That would be all,” she attempted, drawing a shaky breath.
“Leave.”
Then she withdrew from her seat and left, walking out, then dashing
upstairs.
A loud sound representing the shutting of her door resounded through
the room, but Heero didn’t notice, for his own pained eyes were staring at
the door she had gone through.
Cursed complications…shameless
past, no wonder the people will
condemn me.
Hilde raised her head from its morose hiding in her pillow when she
heard the door shut from Heero’s departure. He’s
gone, so she immediately jumped from the bed and hurried to her window,
making sure to be concealed by the curtains as she took a look.
His straight gaze met her eyes.
He was looking directly at her. There he stood in the driveway, yet he
was watching her, and he knew she
was doing just the same. A shiver ran down her spine and prickled her skin.
His look was unnerving.
So intimidating, despite the distance, his look held hers with such
power.
And
her eyes, he ravaged it, tore through it. Without warning, a flash appeared in
his eyes, and it opened to hers. The link suddenly made its way to her eyes
from him, threatening her as it approached.
And
she wasn’t able to stop it as it reached her eyes and went past her walls
and shattered them all, freely entering
She
gasped.
And all of a sudden, he was inside. He knew from her eyes, and he saw.
He delved within ravenously, drinking in the site of her soul, taking
everything in site. She stepped back. Impossible…
no! Her emotions were under his vision, within his sight. Her life had
suddenly become an open book ready to be read. All at once, her mind and heart
was bared to him… and he studied, saw, learned and knew.
And he went on and on… gathering… searching… finding…
No!
He noticed the pallor and the deathly feeling in her eyes, then had
enough. He tore his gaze away from her. She had to grab onto the window frame
for support as she fell from exhaustion and inner fatigue. She gasped,
realizing what Heero had just done.
No.
She
dreadfully looked at him again.
His
eyes had narrowed, but there was something in his gaze.
She
shook as she placed a hand to cover her mouth. He looked scornful, furious,
indefinitely angered, and his sight was running through her. He heaved deep
breaths as his disbelieving face shook with wonderment. He stepped backward,
nauseous, but his eyes never left hers.
No.
Heero,
no
one could come in.
He
couldn’t have… he should not have done so… How could he just step in
when…Ashamed, she turned
her back to the window. Clutching at the front of her shirt, her eyes
narrowed, and she fell short of containing her tears. I
knew I could not hide this forever, Duo had known too.
She
placed her head in her hands and hid, but the tears soon escaped her palm and
showed her remorse and desperation. Maybe now, he hated her as well. She had a
disgusting origin, so destructive, so dark...
She
then glanced back; Heero was still there.
He
had a hand raised to her, as if reaching for her. There it was, his powerful
eyes, yet the same glaze within it was gentle, as if sympathizing, knowing.
Her eyes widened at this. But then he saw her tears, and his face softened in
concern, yet did not lose the determination within it. Her mouth opened to ask
him why, but he just shook his head.
And
as he continued looking, words from him flew to her mind, “You are so
alone…” Her eyes narrowed, weakened.
He
offered her a scarce grin before he placed his hand over his heart. She looked
on as his arms moved, leaving a final position: his hand was wide opened, palm
facing her as it went before his face, giving glimpses of the intensity and
deathly seriousness in his eyes.
“Gundam…”
she whispered.
And
he didn’t speak, didn’t nod, only looked at her, then turned around and
walked out of her sight.
“Schbeiker, Hilde… OZ militant, succeeded in base attack… head,
SCS volunteer group, Pilots First Class, 195 AC… Released from OZ due to
disobedience to orders… alleged ‘accomplice’ of a Gundam Pilot…
Heero scanned over the results of his search through public and private
files, as well as government documents. Nothing he didn’t know about… only
gave him a clearer picture about how she and Duo Maxwell met. He grunted about
this. There was nothing related to her misguiding words, or her seemingly
honed skills. There was no record of her past - not even a birth certificate
in the government’s files. Her life was questionable, and he needed answers.
He wouldn’t stop now, not after hearing her nightmares.
His eyes glazed over. He should not have done what he had said… but
it was what had to happen. She had been hurt, and it took all of his will not
to go after her and apologize. But it would be him
who would be revealing too much if he did that.
He never apologized to anyone. She was lucky enough he did so during
their last argument. No, he would not.
And it pained him.
Curses, what was happening to him? No one, not a girl, would do
anything to affect him. Not Hilde Schbeiker.
He returned his attention to the screen.
“Query: No files found.”
His brow rose wryly at this.
You’re just like the rest of us
Hilde Schbeiker, with no identity. I had no name wherever I went too. He
thought, smirking. You’re just hiding - like us.
Then he remembered her eyes.
Kami, her eyes.
He had the opportunity then, and so he took it. He did it like he did
to no other; he tried to see her soul.
And he got what he needed.
Goodness, it was more than what he expected. He saw.
He shifted his feet. So tender her eyes seemed, so innocent she looked
whenever she spoke or walk, but, of all things, what he had done had revealed
too much. There was abuse, misguidance and pain in her life. She had seen so
many deaths - and the same hands she used to heal his wounds were the same
ones that might have killed the lives of many… she was young but she had too
much. She had escaped, labeled a spiritual refugee, a rebel, or probably a
traitor, but only wanted to leave everything behind. She had no character. And
everything, all of her being was bordered with shame.
He knew, because he felt that way once.
And there was the fear, fear because something large and utterly
destructive was coming… for her? No, it was for much more… involving not
only the ones she valued most, but spanning on to wider, more destructive
boundaries. Those, he needed to know.
And there was another kind of dread for her. That was when he released
his hold - out of shock. She feared him.
He knew she loved Duo Maxwell, and he knew that she feared for
Heero’s life as well. But what he didn’t understand was why she was afraid
of him. He hadn’t hurt her, though he almost shot her once, and that she
knew he was dangerous - but she had never been scared.
And suddenly, in the midst of his continuously going thoughts, he knew
why. It was ironic, yet pleasing at the same time. Yet now was not the right
time to contemplate on that.
With that, he opened his status device, and typed in the government
files, “Black Star.”
A series of query results appeared, all varying from cults, to aliases,
to top secret organizations once foiled…
There he had it.
“… All withheld prisoners… escaped… no results for
interrogation… suicide… suspected reestablishment… much larger sources
… cases suspected to be affiliated with the said group…”
His eyes widened as he read more.
The Source.
He stood up and left.
Heero dashed through the door to the house and slammed it shut, as if
to prevent anyone, her, from leaving once he started questioning her
“Hilde, where are you?” he half-yelled as he made a quick
inspection with his eyes. Her walking boots were left on the floor beside him,
and her coat remained at the convenience hanger. He was positive; the female
was in the house.
But there was no answer.
Grumbling, yet suddenly worried, he stalked over to the kitchen, where
she usually was. There was no one. Sighing, he left for the living room,
seeking to at least find the woman dozing off. No sign, empty, he thought as
he accepted his failed avail. He ran upstairs, blindly searching through all
three rooms. The bathrooms were cold.
He frowned - she hadn’t left the house, he was sure of that. And
yet, she wasn’t in the house.
Where could she be?
He gave a smirk, he already knew.
He then walked calmly out of the room and made his way downstairs to
the garden. As large as it seemed, without doubt she should be there.
Eyes scrupulously scanning the greenery, he strolled through it, noting
that he would have to enjoy the peace it offered later on. His vision traveled
as he put on his pace. The garden wasn’t really that large after all. It had
only been the effect of the studiously arranged plants. It was a comforting
place.
But still, she was not there.
His eyes slit as he suddenly wondered if she had
gone out after all. Probably left him because of his sudden intrusion. He
swore under his breath… cursing everything in sight. If that happened, well
then, he’d be damned, no one could stand him after all. But he would have to
follow her, especially now, now that he had found out.
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Ah, but what
frustrated him was something else. He knew he didn’t believe such a thing.
Hilde wasn’t capable of such.
And that was what he hated. He just realized that he could not bring a
single negative thing on the woman. She had taught him hard lessons, and could
have very well stood on her own. He knew immediately that she had spunk,
judging from the way she hit him that morning, or how she gave smug grins or
muttered small barbs. Aside from that, she was very much opinionated, always
having one thing to say about anything. She was… to darn different, or
similar to him… too affecting…
His trail of thoughts stopped as he heard a sound. Suddenly alert, he
traced the source… there was nothing unusual with the place.
He smirked, but this was Hilde Schbeiker he was talking about. She
knew.
He studied the ground and tapped his foot on indented places.
Suspicious looking planes and spots caught his attention. After two minutes of
examination, he saw what he needed when he stomped on the ground made obscure
by trees in the back of the yard. “Thump!” His assumptions were
correct - metal.
He then knelt over and knocked on it, then feeling over the ground,
looking for handles. Soon finding one at its base, he lifted the surface from
the ground.
And saw a steel cased passage leading downwards. The side was lined
with ladder railings, making a south movement to what he presumed was a base.
With a silent, concentrated move, he lithely dropped down without using
the ladder.
He grunted a sound of satisfaction as he made a perfect landing on his
feet. Viewing the newly discovered place, he nodded in acknowledgement as he
recognized the computer equipment before him.
Hilde… he thought, why
would she need this? Everything was as advanced as the machines used in the Preventers
base.
Moving around them, he stopped when he finally gained sight of her.
It was something he’d never seen before.
There she was. Hilde was standing in a straight, open position, one
that was obviously meant for combat. He noted her clothes: a short spandex top
that was covered by a rather loose jersey; cycling shorts donned her legs, and
she was wearing sweatbands and sneakers.
Training? His mind asked,
interested.
And then she suddenly lashed out with organized and perfectly matched
attacks. She made kicks and various hand and arm assaults with speed, and she
turned around at the right times precisely. He realized at the moment the most
of her attacks could easily immobilize someone, and others were, he conceded
as she made escape spins and somersaults lined by returned offense, fatal.
There was a desperate, yet determined look on her face as she
continued, and the combinations improved. They had become faster, harder to
avoid. Heero knew that it was not yet the right time to interfere.
She was heavily trained, he
realized as he saw the hidden muscles contract and expand - and every move
was done with experience and ability. No
wonder she had killed before, he continued. It was the Black Star.
And his comprehensions were proven correct when he looked at her as she
faced the opposite direction.
There, tattooed on the upper right side of her back, near the joints
behind her shoulders, was a small black star.
His eyes slit at this. There was also a diagonal scar marring the
drawing.
That was when Hilde stopped, and she noticed him. She gasped, but
didn’t turn around. She then shook her head afterwards. “Heero,” she
whispered.
He nodded, “I think you know.”
She looked forward as she heaved a deep breath, “That you already
know? Yes, I’ve already expected this the moment you left this morning. And
you are here.”
He shook his head as he walked nearer, “Would you care to answer what
I need to know?”
She still didn’t move from her position, “No.”
His right brow raised, “No?”
Hilde closed her eyes, “Not yet - not when the times are…
uncertain. Heero, I shouldn’t have made you stay, and you shouldn’t have
tried. Now, you have affixed yourself inside our world, and you will be made a
part of this complicated mess.”
He nodded as he gave a grim, cynical smile; “All of us will
eventually be a part of this ‘mess,’ Hilde.”
“Not like me, and not as dangerous as you are making yourself.
Nothing will happen, not if I can’t help it. But you’re throwing yourself
on the line.”
Silence breached the room, and Heero didn’t answer. With that, Hilde
went on, now moving to face him. She still didn’t look at him though. Her
eyes were more fraught and distressed, yet she kept her ambiance the same as
she stared into the vast space beside him. There was a pleading light in her
expression, “I left so that Duo would not be a part of this. Heero, I
wasn’t given a choice. Now, I give you a choice.”
More silence ensued.
He shook his head, “I’m not leaving, Schbeiker.”
She kept her face still, but hope erupted in her eyes, “I need your
help. I really need your help. But I can never force you to do so. I was
giving you one more chance, Heero. I want your assistance, but I don’t want
you to be harmed as well. Your wounds are already healed. And if you do this,
you will bury yourself deeper into your own destruction. Choose, Heero - and
choose well.”
Her form wavered as he thought. Yes, Hilde was alone against them all.
He would want to leave, but there was no where else he wanted to go. She was
asking him to go away, after everything they had been through. But it was too
late. Now, the action seemed impossible. Her own fight affected his
principles, and could very well harm the world he once believed in. He
couldn’t leave; it was for the mission.
You are so alone…
It was for her, he thought harshly and without acceptance as he looked
down.
“I am not leaving.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~