DxH Addiction In The Arms of Destruction
Part Three--Retaliate
by Annabelle G.
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            “What do you think should we do?”

            Sally looked up as Quatre voiced the question. The progress reports in her hand showed no trace of Heero anywhere on Earth. Apparently, he had escaped from the planet quickly enough to get to one of the colonies before authorities could search for his whereabouts. It was either that or his skills had outsmarted them again. She knew what Heero was capable of, and it would be hard to detect him now.

            She and the former Gundam pilots were in the Meeting Room, discussing alternate ways to find Heero. It was the wake of a beautiful new day, where the fresh rays of sunlight grazed past the windows and washed the room. But despite all this, the room was filled with a serious atmosphere. They all had no time to relax and enjoy, and their morning started off immediately with a serious debate rather than the comfort of breakfast. This just shows the real gravity of the situation, she thought quietly, realizing how urgent the priority of the meeting was that it couldn’t wait after the meal.

            “I’m not sure. It would be hard for us to do this alone. Even with all the Preventers’ forces, it would take months to follow up on an exact location. He’s so exceptional with covering his tracks it would seem impossible to locate him.” She announced with a bit of exasperation. For the past few days, they had tried so many ways to locate him. They had all travel and port data scanned for his whereabouts, but they were unsure of his mode of transportation, as well as the names he used… he had probably erased all leading information - and as a result, supposed paths lead to anonymous locations.  

            “The best way to find a Gundam pilot is through accident. Civilians, specifically,” Duo suggested out of the blue, tapping a finger at his lip. His violet eyes were still tinged with remorse, but the determination to get the mission over with seemed to drive him to give all that he could. Sally knew how hard it was for him. The brown-haired youth straightened at the questioning looks the others gave him, “Hey, for all I know, Relena found Heero that way. Even Trowa knows what I mean, choosing a circus as a base. I know it worked for me. Hilde and I met that way…” His eyes softened a bit with amusement, “It would be safest to reveal yourself to a non-dangerous source. One that preferably has no knowledge about who you really are. Heero can’t hide forever. More or less, others may have spotted him now, or he may be sporting a new identity. The thing is, we still have no concrete idea what his reasons are for doing what he did. This could key in his position.”  

            Quatre smiled at Duo’s perceptivity. “I see what you mean. I just wish we knew what exactly Heero’s intentions were.”

              From beside Sally, Wufei spoke up. “That would really be helpful. But we have to settle for what we have. What Duo said stroke something true - Heero would probably show up in an uninformed place… or at least a discreet part of a city; where he wouldn’t threaten people, or have them threaten him in the same way. Yet we still have no concept of where he might choose to appear.” He gave her a subtle glance before turning away completely.

             Sally gave small smile at the way he freely opened, respected, and believed in her now. It was as if yesterday hadn’t happened, though she still knew that Wufei was more than a little affected personally by this subject. But there was no time to dwell on sentiments. “How about if we took it from Duo’s perspective? If we used non threatening examples, things may come easier for us.”

              From Trowa’s contemplative position at the end of the meeting room, he suddenly spoke, “What if we deploy undercover agents?”

 

            “That wouldn’t help much.”

 

            Huh?

              They all turned to see Zechs Merquise standing by the doorway, a ghost of a scowl on his face… yet the serious, intense look remained in his gaze. And Sally nearly bristled - what was so important that it brought even Zechs away from his fast-paced yet contented work in Mars? Could Heero alone do this?  

She turned her gaze and saw Lucrezia Noin standing by his side. She was likewise, not expected, but was much warmer in her appearance. She had a smile on her face, and had tipped her head to wink at Sally and Quatre. Yet her hand lay firmly on his elbow, as if restraining him.

It was evident now. Zechs wouldn’t be there if not for a sufficient reason… and this reason clearly involved their problems with this new organization, and much more with Heero’s supposed involvement in its plans. From Noin’s vantage, she knew how much Zechs had been affected by the incident; himself having been Heero’s archenemy once. He had been deeply disturbed by the sudden switching of sides, and demanded to go to Earth from Mars to see to the problem personally. Somehow, Heero’s decision seemed to confuse feelings and learned values within him. And be it best for her to be there in case he lost his own way or had too much. “What? No welcomes?” she teased, giving a hurt glance at Sally.

            “Noin!” The latter exclaimed, standing up. Then she stared at Zechs sharp glance at her, then at the pilots around her. She then sighed. “Explanations later. Sit down, you two. I’d be wanting an update, so be prepared.”

            The dark haired woman winked at her friend, then turned to take the vacant seat beside her. She’s… different, somehow, Sally observed, but was surprised when Zechs stopped Noin from approaching her by quickly slinging an arm around her waist and gently pulling her to another place to sit beside him. Sally rolled her eyes, after all these years, Zechs was still wary of the Gundam pilots. And with Heero’s sudden actions there to rekindle old doubts, it was no wonder he felt that way.

But Noin? She could surely take care of herself. She shook her head; Zechs’ sudden tendency towards over protectiveness was none of her business. She then had a look at the woman whom she had been closest to for the past few years and noticed an increase in weight. It wasn’t so obvious, only a slight of a lump on her stomach that was barely noticeable unless she was sitting down.

 

Then it came to her. Oh my goodness! Of all things-I mean, so that’s why-

            Wufei narrowed his eyes before continuing, “What do you mean by the plan not helping much?”

            Zechs raised an eyebrow, “You know Yuy more than I do. And better yet, you, yourselves are Gundam Pilots - you should know how detecting the nature of a person comes by instinct. If Heero perceives an agent, he would immediately know this. Agents are too suspicious, and I don’t think Heero is stupid enough not to notice, having done so many covert operations himself. Aside from this, we lack trained men. Even while using all of our undercover agents, it will still not be enough. It will take time, more than months, for these trained men to get a hold of him by spending time in each region. We need more, barely suspicious subjects - those which can easily surround him yet not deem a threat.”

 

            Silence filled the room.

            “What do you mean?” Sally finally asked.

            Zechs stared straight ahead. “I meant that we should use what exactly was said earlier: civilians." 

            “Huh? What do you mean?” Wufei immediately demanded. “That we recruit most of the civilians in various regions and train them slightly to help them detect Yuy? That’s absurd!” His brows met in frustration. “Aside from the fact that the people would panic. They would wonder what emergency could be so dangerous that even their physical cooperation would be needed. That just won’t work.”

            Noin finally spoke, wording her sentence out carefully. “Well, Mr. Chang, what if the civilians would see it in a different manner? Something that wouldn’t scare nor frustrate them but would prompt them to cooperate when needed? Something that wouldn’t sound so urgent and yet is still important? This would give us huge amounts of opportunities and would quickly lead us further to Heero.”

            Wufei frowned, “And how would you do that, woman?”

            Noin eyed the others, and Trowa quickly spoke, “We lighten the situation.”

            “Exactly.” She snapped her fingers.

            The others nodded, interested. “How?”

            Sally’s eyes widened as her mind started analyzing what they needed to do. “We use media televising, of course. But if we sought the support of people without scaring them about Heero and his involvement, well, we could gain much.”

            Quatre then began, “So as it is, what exactly is the reason why people would fear Heero?”

            Duo returned the question slowly as the solution started unfolding before them. “Because they think that he is responsible for the bombing if the Space Colonial Stars Embassy. They think he might be involved, or even be the one leading this new group of terrorists.”

            Wufei brought down a fist with renewed cooperation, “And this means that we have to eliminate the source of fear and get them to cooperate - hence, Heero’s involvement in the bombing should be -“

            “Null, cancelled, not against the government. We must admit that we ‘made a mistake,’ so to say, in accusing Heero as the bomber. We would then view him as a much-needed witness instead. This way, the people would be more enthusiastic in finding him because aside from the fact that it would help the government a lot, they know that who they’re looking for is the good guy, someone they can trust.” Sally finished.

            Trowa lifted a copy of the said proposal. “This might work.”

            Zechs shook his head, “No, this will work. So what are you people waiting for?”

 


           

            He wondered how she was able to do it.

            Heero stared at her as she moved around the small kitchen, seemingly frustrated but amazingly calm. Hilde smiled as she walked about, taking a few looks at the concoction she was brewing while humming tunelessly. She didn’t notice him as he stood in the doorway to the kitchen.

            He forgot how she agreed him to even stay there in the first place.

            She then took out a mop and had somehow managed to make a bucket of water appear out of nowhere. Then, she straightened the nice jumper -he frowned, he had never taken partiality to clothes before - she was wearing and started soaking the mop, laughing as water spilled due to the concentration of space. Her eyes sparkled with laughter, innocence, Heero might have thought, but decided against it. It probably brought back a distant memory of her with Duo or probably something earlier than that.

            Heero felt disgusted, and he started to lean on the doorway, then edged into the wall away from her. The reason he stayed was because of the answers he was seeking. He didn’t offer belief to Hilde’s philosophy about another, more important reason and purpose for his stay to come soon. But if he did…

            She seemed to know something. It had been only two days, but he had noticed as much. Too much, in fact, that it had taken away all his attention from his other problems. Was she related to something else? He had remembered hearing about her in Duo’s conversation with the others; she had been a former OZ volunteer, and had also been at the top of her batch. Strange, a female.

            He suspected that she had training. She was good at the use of medical equipment. While he knew that many people could do just the same, he was more skeptical. The way she handled him felt familiar, not like the way the others had done so (Relena, his eyes narrowed painfully), but the feeling of dexterity, of experience and expertise; he knew hands like those before, when he had been in training. And he knew how they worked as well. Yes, she had been a trainee, as a soldier? In OZ? Highly unlikely, he concluded. Operation Zenith was different, no matter how specialized it was; he just couldn’t shake the instinct telling him that she somehow knew things like what he had been through. It was something much deeper, more hidden… more dangerous. Like him.

            She even had a code, for crying out loud, enough proof-that was, for him. She spoke with wisdom about a fighter’s honor, about things he had learned - and ignored, unfortunately, though he knew their meaning and significance-through his own experience. She just knew, but was unwilling to tell, often smiling and talking about other more casual things. Such moments irritated him, since he wasn’t used to them, often finding the answers to questions about his missions easily. He had become frustrated.

            The girl was different… yet why had he pushed himself to try to find out about the other things? He might as well had left if not for the astonishment he felt when she had insulted him. Yes, he had been insulted, and placed into wariness… Why?

            He never needed to concern himself with her, he conceded. Once the wound was healed, he was to leave, and to mind his own life, never to return again. Yet the hanging questions about her, questions he could not ignore…

            He didn’t know why he wanted to find out more. Maybe the woman had been right; for he felt like he just needed to, sensing something deeper, something he should be involved in. He didn’t know for sure, but he just felt the need to discover more.

            Pain, she was even being followed! And the questions, what was the truth about her? Was she related to something out there? He shook his head over the sudden stupidity of his thoughts. Was Duo ever like that with her? She was his, after all, or was his own woman able to keep secrets away from him?

            He sighed, then Duo was stupid.

            “No, he was too innocent.”

            He suddenly broke from his chain of thoughts, looking around to see if anyone was talking to him directly, or if he had unknowingly said his thoughts out loud. He saw no one. Frowning, he turned to look back at Hilde, and realized that it was her who talked, yet, she didn’t seem to have noticed him him, for she was still looking away.

            She sighed and laid her head on the top of the mop’s stick, “I shouldn’t have…”

            Heero smirked, so she had been talking to herself. But then, she spoke again.

            “No, I couldn’t let them put Duo and the others to harm. They nearly had us again.” She sighed as she looked down; “I’d have to handle this, him on my own.”

            His eyes widened, and watched as she slowly removed the activator of the recording device that he had found her yesterday. The urge to question her then and there and to demand for an answer to stop the tension rose with unimaginable speed within him. But he stopped himself and continued to watch as she fingered the sign on the device.

            “Black Star…” she whispered, her eyes narrowing faintly as she turned the object in her hand, stopping at times to continually stare at the logo, “I had already left you behind. Why won’t you let me go?”

           

His eyes slit.

 

            “I’d want to curse you now, damn you with everything I have learned from you - but doing so would be returning to what I used to be; Number Twenty Six, Schbeiker.”

            She choked angrily, more desperately as she slammed the activator back into her pocket. “You already have everything, you are the undeniable Source, and you were given a hand on every single power you can control. You already took everything from me -“ Her eyes narrowed more, glittering, “I already gave up all on you. Why can’t you just leave me -us, alone and set me free?

            Furiously, she started on the mop and began on her cleaning session again. But the sound of boiling water interrupted her task. She gasped and turned around.

            Her soup was bubbling with steam, and was in the process of spilling.

            She gave a small sound of surprise and quickly set out to stop the mess in progress. Stepping nimbly towards the stove, she took a piece of cloth and wrapped it around her fingers. She then turned to remove the cover of the pot. But the heat immediately penetrated through the thin defense, and she dropped the scorching cover. As inevitable, it dropped over the small spill, and splashed an amount on her; she gasped in pain over the frantic events.

            To her surprise, a hand slowly covered over hers, and wrapped another piece of cloth around it. The palm had calluses, she felt as she recognized the cold feeling the linen strip provided. Heero, she finished, shocked.

            He didn’t mention a word as he slowly wrapped the cloth filled with what she conceded was Calcium Fluoride… toothpaste, enough to cool her hand’s skin.

But her attention was diverted as he reached out another hand to turn the knob that removed the fire from the stove. He didn’t talk, silently tending to her hand, then offering her a wordless look, though highly unnerving, before setting her hand down. He nodded at her, his eyes warning her, before he moved off to a seat in the dining table without a change in his demeanor.

            She stared back at him reticently, astonished, and slightly embarrassed. She felt timid all of a sudden, and a bit worried - had he heard?

            She then shook her head and snorted, varying over the stupidity of the moment before turning away to mutter over her clumsiness. It must have been Duo affecting her. Continuing her litany of self-insults, she just sighed. Duo, that idiot!

            Heero’s eyes raised to hers due to this, and she suddenly felt uncomfortable due to his dull intensity. But her pride suddenly took over her awkward situation and she immediately started with her way out of the complicated web.

            She smiled at him, knowing that it might confuse him, at least a bit. She then noticed the irritation in his eyes, and immediately felt pleased, “Good morning, Heero.” And she walked over to the table near him and switched the television standing idly open. Be it better for him to be preoccupied, she thought, then laughed out loud, that was impossible. Oh well.

            Then the news came out, and she noticed the headings written dark, bold letters. All of a sudden, the entire bright orange splendor of the room bathed in the morning was left without attention, for the screen had caught all conscious thoughts.

 

             Heero’s face was in there.

 

            The news came out in full, generalized detail. The Preventers squad, the Earth’s officials, had just announced the termination of the warrant of arrest for Heero Yuy, declaring him innocent. Convincing proof was withheld within the said squad’s premises. He was free, so they said.

Heero gasped.  What were they talking about? It was he who -

His eyes narrowed angrily.

            “Investigation proves him innocent, but awareness of his location is still set to order for his knowledge is further needed to venture deeper into the sources of the investigation…”

            It was an insult.

            “What?” he asked, silently enraged. Perplexed, bewildered, relieved and irritated, he was feeling everything all of a sudden. He was the one who activated the bomb. No, it was a hoax, a pretended way to get what the officials wanted. How dare they? He slammed a fist into the table-he was willing to wager the participation of the other Gundam Pilots in the decoy.

            “Cheap,” he muttered heatedly, “All cheap.”

            “Tactful,” Hilde suddenly echoed, “All very tactful. I wouldn’t have thought about it.”

            He turned to glare at her, but he was greeted by an offering look. “Look, Heero, be glad that you’re not on the limits anymore. You have no major reasons to go on hiding. This way, you can move freer about than when you were under chase. As much as how possible a hidden agenda is under this proclamation, and how highly risky it is for you, you can still use it to your capabilities, and to your command. You should know that: look at what you can do and analyze the situation, just like what you used to do.”

            He didn’t have the time, or the effort, to ask her about that statement. The immediate turn of events all flowed down within him again. Then what was his own bombing effort all for? What did that prove? Was everything, all the release of emotions all for naught? They had diminished his doings, but why did that make him feel so uneasy?

            His hands formed tighter fists as he proceeded to stare at the television. The impulse to try and hit anything just to release his anger was overwhelming. Where had he gone now? He was back to where he started ever since Relena, an old, unassuming, self-confused fool.

            He stood up, well if-

            Two small hands grabbed the collar of his shirt with surprising strength and skill. His appalled eyes met Hilde’s burning ones, “Look, Heero. You’re a Pilot, you were trained to be one. I can’t help myself from stopping you. You’re being immature and very conceited. Well shame on you! We all have our pride, and whatever that incident meant to you, it will always be there, in all glory of reality and sense.

“Now if,” her voice lowered with a deep, German English brogue as she pushed him back to the chair. “-You think that the lack of knowledge of the world will kill it, and your purpose as well, and let yourself be deeply affected without looking at what’s at hand, at what you can do, then you are haughty. So haughty, you can loose your Fighter’s code.”

            She let go of him, and his eyes started burning with fury as well. Unusually feeling degraded- he then seethed… How dare she insult his code? She had no right to continually lambaste him about all his worth and what he had done. She didn’t even know him. “Damn you,” he whispered.

             Enraged, he stood up, forgetting about the loosened bandana on his neck. He straightened his shirt to show he wasn’t affected at all, and angrily stalked over to her back turned position to give her what he thought she deserved and forgot everything. He forcefully tried to turn her to meet him, but she already did so on her own.

            “What?” she asked, equally acrimonious. “Will you try and kill me, just like you did recently? Go ahead, do so, try to intimidate me. I know you’re stronger, and I know that I’m inferior to you. I understand how dangerous you are. But you will just do it; you’ll kill me and leave, be hunted again for murder, and be ceased again. You will then find out how what you’ve been doing has no meaning; you have gotten nowhere-and you will never learn. What you will feel that moment will be a hundred times more difficult and frustrating than whatever you feel now, and, pray tell, I hope you don’t destroy yourself.”

            Heero didn’t move nor flinch, and neither did she. They both stared at each other, Heero’s hand on her shoulder and her hands clenched at her sides. Their eyes penetrated through those of each, yet both refused to move.

            At the next moment, Hilde suddenly closed her eyes gently. She stood there, her eyes shut, yet not moving. She released a deep breath, and opened her arms out wide, as if waiting for persecution. She thereupon opened her eyes, “Go ahead Heero Yuy. I know what you’ve been through. Then learn for yourself.”

            And then she looked at him. His eyes stood motionless, and he raised a gun to her face. And she waited, be it for him to know the truth, good bye Duo.

            And suddenly, Heero’s eyes widened; then he faltered. And with that, he gave an outraged sound then turned around and dashed towards the doorway. He went out and the door fell loudly behind him; he was gone.

           

            Hilde’s arms dropped to her sides as she stared at the door blankly, a little angrily.

            Learn, Heero, she thought fleetingly, suddenly sad.

Then her eyes narrowed weakly, and memories long buried in the recesses of the mind began surfacing. Suddenly vulnerable and very frail, she fell behind to the counter and tried to support herself. She then choked and placed a hand on her cheek; it was her injured hand.

            Not again…

            She cried.

           

 


 

            Duo joined Quatre as they both stared at the display of TV’s for sale in a local electronics shop. The television showed the news report about the diminishing of the accusations about Heero. “Do you think this will work?”

            Quatre shrugged, “At best it will, at worst it will be ignored, or less, not even noticed by Heero. It may shake him a bit, he’s not stupid, but it may anger him, or even insult him. But he would know about our motives. I presume he’s thinking we’re involved in this.”

            Duo nodded, then watched over the screen, taking in the daily news. “And what about the other plans?”

            “They will all rely on Heero’s return, though Sally is starting on the covert mobile suits. Advanced, I may say. But it was good to know they are just manufacturing them now. They had held our trust, and had been honest. The production of the machinery will take only a month,” his brows knit together, “I only hope we have enough time before anything serious happens. No one knows anything.”

            Duo understood his words and turned away. A frown found its way into his face as he remembered her. “Hilde,” he muttered, and shook his head. He had this strange fear that she was involved in this problem somehow. He groaned, Darn it, now is not the time to think about it. He faced Quatre again, “Do you think we will succeed? No matter how hard it seems…”

            Quatre averted his gaze from the display, his blonde hair fanning over his forehead, “We will Duo. Times are uncertain, but we will try our best.” His blue eyes sparkled with determination.

            Duo smiled, and they both turned their attentions to the screen again in silence.

 

 


 

            “Noin, I know you’re hiding something.”

            Noin looked up from her dinner and saw Sally standing by the doorway, her arms crossed and her foot tapping with impatience. She then looked away and gave a small smile; Sally was always like that. Sighing, she shook her head and gave a mischievous grin.

            “Luc, if you don’t start talking…

            She lifted her spoon immediately, “Sal, can’t you see I’m, uh, eating?” She tried to look innocent, just to goad her friend a bit. Just … a bit…

            “Eating - my foot, the only place that food is going to end up in is in your face if you keep on with the suspense!” Sally snorted before crossing over to sit beside her. She then took a look at her meal, “C’mon Noin, tell me what happened. How’s life been? I know that we talk every week but I’ve got this really strong feeling you haven’t told me some very important details.”

            Noin raised an eyebrow as she forked a lettuce leaf, “Like what?”

            Sally gave her a bemused look, “Like the humongous appetite. Should I say ‘duh’?”

            Noin froze.

            Sally waited expectantly. Finally, she hoped Noin was going to confess-

            “I don’t look fat, do I?”

            Sally didn’t hesitate as she took the glass in her hand, “Noin, I promise you you’d be dripping bloody wet when I get over with you-“

            “Bloody? Heck, you’re taking over my expressions,” Noin exclaimed incredulously. “My gosh, what happened to you, Sal? I could recall how you despised my so-called ‘enhanced dirt’ of diction-“

            “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” Sally began suddenly, ignoring the taunts Noin made to divert the subject.

            Noin stopped laughing, then finally released a sigh and nodded. “Was it that obvious?”

            Sally patted her best friend’s stomach tenderly, “No, not really. It’s only noticeable when you are sitting down and bending over. For how long and with who?”

            Noin gave a soothing, yet proud smile, “I think it’s going three months. As for the father, well, the child belongs to my husband - which is apparent enough…”

            Sally gave her a chilled look, “Noin, you’re not married.”

            Noin smiled a knowing look that was half-pleading and somewhat exasperated.

            “You mean you got married without telling me?” Sally hissed.

            Noin grabbed her shoulders, “Sal, tone down!”

            But her best friend’s lovely features had already contorted with an angered expression, her eyes flashing a violent blue gray. “Aw, heck no, Lucrezia. My best friend just got married without telling me, why should I calm down? With who, with Zechs? And if ever, does he know you’re carrying? Goodness, if the baby doesn’t belong to him I can almost see him running over to murder whoever the father is. But not after I murder you for keeping this big secret-“

            Noin gave her a glass of water to silence her, “Don’t worry, Best - it’s Zechs’ baby alright. And before you ask, we got married before this baby was created, thank goodness. And for your information, I wanted to tell you but he wanted to keep the marriage as low and discreet as possible.”

            “As discreet as possible?” Sally flipped her hair and gave a small laugh, allowing herself to talk freely “You’ve now got the name ‘Peacecraft’ attached to yours, what could possibly be discreet in that? And you’re carrying the possible future heir to the Cinq Kingdom -oh, wait, again, does he know?”

            Noin took a calm breath, glad that her friend finally slowed down. It was amazing how honest and blunt they could be with each other - and how sharply direct to the point Sally could be at times. She grinned a bit. “Okay, one, if ever, you would have been the Maid of Honor, I promise you (she grimaced at Sally’s sarcastic ‘Uh huh. Yeah right’ but was pleased when her best friend followed the comment with a smile), but I had to take consideration for his feelings, you must understand. I’m really sorry. Second, that means you can’t remit my own Maid of Honor if ever you snatch that chauvinist Wufei and get to hitch him (Sally glared at her). Three, no, I haven’t told him yet, but I think he already knows, okay?”

            Sally stared at her, then slowly nodded. But before Noin could further apologize, she already spoke. “So that’s why he couldn’t leave you in Mars. But what of you two now, with this new incident rapidly rising?”

            It was Noin’s time to be silent now, and she stared straight ahead into the window, watching the stars a bit before she spoke. “I’m not sure. He seems to be really affected by it, and I know I can’t stop him.” She met her eyes with Sally’s, and the latter immediately knew that what she was experiencing with Wufei was very similar. “Frankly, Sal, I don’t know.”

            And they both turned contemplative eyes towards the scene outside the window as they worried about how Heero had just affected their futures once more.

 


            Damn her.

 

            Heero ran away from the cursed house, dashing past the trees and shrubs to anywhere his feet could take him; he’d survive. Nighttime had already fallen, yet he knew he would do well, after traveling around to release his anger for hours. He would go anywhere until his anger had ceased, anywhere that is, as long as she was not there.

            He ran and turned around, wondering where he was. He then cursed; he had never been lost.  But ever since Relena’s recent confession, things had changed.

            He released a gruff sound as he continued to walk further, ignoring the darkness; no, things hadn’t changed generally after Relena, they had all gone ablur and incomprehensive ever since Hilde’s invitation for him to stay. He didn’t understand what had been happening to him and his conscience at all. The stupid woman, what had she been doing to him?

            He then realized that his small time with Hilde had suddenly become a dangerous factor to his life, with the impact of her words and attitudes, with the secret knowledge well woven beneath what she did. Damn it all, he never even planned to go near her, but the sudden phenomenon of her life and her involvement had been too much.

What happened? What had she done? Well then, he wasn’t searching for answers, he was wanting to leave, at least that was what he planned to do when he saw how his arrest had been dissolved.

            But he gave her his word, as a fighter and as a man of honor. Ha, he’d been used to breaking his word; he’d done so to Relena many times before. What good would it do him now if he kept it now?

            He walked into the open of the trees and watched the scene before him.

            It was a lake, so large, and so impossibly beautiful, in the verse of artificial land and controlled factors. It sparkled ever so peacefully against the dark, dotted blue sky. A lone sailboat stretched along the vast expanse, wading gracefully with the wind and the small waves.

            Heero stared openly at this. Here he was, and here was where he was going to stop.

            He jumped down the grassy hill and treaded carefully over the rocks that lead downwards toward the lake. Jumping cautiously over another small-sized boulder, he reached the somewhat sandy borders of the lake and sat down quietly. He then kept silent and closed his eyes for several minutes. He was used to the feeling of anger and stress… all he needed was time to himself. It had always been that way. He was good at the control of emotions, but he also needed an output. But outputs, no matter how important, were always placed after the mission. And there, he would place his whole being in visualizing. He badly needed the meditation now.

            That was what he had been doing for the past two years. And after the years of acceptance and thinking, he finally came back to start for the future, only, his future had already given up on waiting for him. Relena, he still didn’t understand.        

 

            “Why?” he whispered after a few more minutes, his eyes still closed. “Why do you do these things to me?” Hilde, what is it again? She had started the distracting fit of thoughts once more… She was not worth his time, but he knew now that she had problems, and…

            He then shook his head, hesitantly admitting that he didn’t want to leave the woman, not after the words he had heard from her in the kitchen. He didn’t know if there were other reasons for that, and if there were any, he wasn’t willing to admit more. But he had actually given his whole honor in his vow to stay; no, he didn’t think he wanted to leave just yet, not until his promise was accomplished. Though he was still confused about his own reasons for giving the promise, he still believed in finishing it. He could take care of himself already, but the vow was still intact.

            He heard the whispers… the girl was in trouble. He had (he shook his head, disgusted with himself) even suddenly felt surprisingly willing to help. Yet all was gone with the heated conversation. Who was she to tell him all those things? No, she hadn’t even gone through what he had been through. She had so much impulse to start on him, when she had no idea what it was - and he had taken bait.

            He was so mad… she pointed on his code, and haughtiness, no wonder he had left in fury. She had the nerve to…

            Pilot, you are stupid.

            His trail of angry thoughts stopped with the flitted words. He suddenly found himself pondering. What did that mean?

            “Look, Pilot, you were trained to be one. I can’t help myself from stopping you. Shame on you for being immature and conceited. We all have our pride, and whatever that incident meant to you, it will always be there, in all glory of reality and sense. Now if,” her voice lowered as she pushed him back to the chair. “-You think that the lack of knowledge of the world will kill it, and your purpose as well, and let yourself be deeply affected without looking at what’s at hand, at what you can do, then you are haughty. So haughty, you can loose your Fighter’s code.”

 

            Her words drifted back to him and his past realizations resurfaced. His eyes widened, “No.”

            She shook her head; “I am unable to tell, as is my own Code.”

            Impossible, he hadn’t wanted to believe.

            “Tactful,” she suddenly echoed.

            Her eyes were too open; she smiled too much…

            “Her name is Hilde,” Duo said steadily as he stared at her body being set into the stretcher to be sent to Intensive Care Unit. “She’s a former OZ leader on the voluntary section.”

            OZ, the female had lead OZ - how could she do that just as simply? Duo never said anything about her…

            “A fighter should know the right time for everything.” She began. “Even I wouldn’t be stupid enough to leave care when I very well know my injuries are not well enough yet. No matter how fast I would heal,” she paused, “I know what to do to protect myself and my mission - to think wisely and to keep myself protected. My own body is my weapon.”

            A realization hit him. She was hiding…

            “I know how it feels to hide, Heero.”

            “Why won’t you let me go?”

 

 


 

            “He’s dead.”

            The man breathed cautiously as the leader took in the news. He showed no reaction of anger though. The man merely adjusted his crisp business suit and watched through the mirror leading into the panel of computer specialists. Highly unlikely a reaction for him these days, the man thought.

            “You mean?” he asked calmly, but terse lines had formed along the verse.

            “The one you sent to watch out for Schbeiker, there had been no contact from him for days. And when an investigation was initiated, it was found that the man was turned in to the police. He didn’t speak, though. Attempted to kill someone, not your pet of course. But then, he attacked the officials. He had been scheduled, so to speak, with an investigator from the Preventers. However, he had ended himself in the cell.”

            The man a nodded steadily. He then gave him a small smirk. “Impudence. You have ruined my mood, truly you have. And don’t dare speak to me in that manner,” he said softly, a warning look in his amber eyes. "Get a replacement soon, that hit man hadn’t found Heidi, but it would be best to start where he left off. You, on the other hand, should leave me before I issue a suspension.”

            He knew not to speak to the leader in that way again, “Yes sir,” he said quietly before departing from the room.

            He closed the doors and rolled up his sleeve to reveal a tattoo of a black star, “Wonder of wonders, Schbeiker again. That girl is causing trouble once more… Bloody heck, the girl does take after her mother. She's becoming another rebellious troublemaker. But no matter, I will succeed.”

            I must.

 


 

 

            Heero gasped.

 

            She was right.

 

            He had been stupid.

 

            His eyes widened yet grew dark with defeat. Curses, she had actually out lead him. No wonder she had been shouting at him… and he had been so blind with anger. She was a soldier, or had been one. Not as a cadet at OZ, but a real one. And she had told him what was right: to make the best out of the situation.

            He shook his head as he recalled her words, “Look, Heero, be glad that you’re not on the limits anymore. You have no major reasons to go on hiding. As much as how possible a hidden agenda is under this proclamation, and how highly risky it is for you, you can still use it to your capabilities, and to your command.”

 

            She knew what she was doing, and most of all; she must have been through what he had been through. He now realized how he had seen another side of her, other than the usual, calm and friendly face. She had shown him a part of her she most probably had kept hidden for who knows how long - only to help him. And in his anger, he didn’t listen and thought her intrusive and assuming.

 

            Damn it all, she had been right.

 

            He should have listened to her, had taken care of the situation and studied the factors he could use to his own command. Assessing has always been the first step in a mission. He had forgotten all about his responsibilities ever since Relena. And Hilde had tried to help, and kuso, he had attacked her and nearly killed her return.

            He dejectedly lowered his head. She had proved him wrong again, and had turned out to be the helper instead of the betrayer again.

            He sighed; somehow, the realization made his burden lighter. Again, he didn’t know why. Yet he knew what he had to do, for honor and gratification’s sake.

            He stood up and left for the house.

 

 


           

 

            He entered the hidden workplace factory underneath the base and smiled, Well done.

            The men were working dutifully and quickly, as he had expected. In no time, the project will be finished, and they could all work on what took years to plan and activate.

            “Quasar,” he called out to one of the men supervising the work.

            “Yes, sir?” the lad immediately replied, hurrying to his needs.

            “I want to see,” he ordered, smiling slightly. He removed the cigarette from his mouth. The coded man smiled and nodded obediently as he was led to a very high-ceilinged room. As dark as it was, light entered as they opened the technology-secured doors.

            The scarce light placed the four large subjects into view…

            The Power, a series of reds, blues and whites, the prevailing Wing Upgrade

            The Weapon, a powerful instrument attached behind the intimidating dark structure, Deathscythe Upgrade

            The Mind, halves of long, dangerous blades hanging, just in reach, Sandrock Upgrade

            The Force, heavy artillery placed securely on every angle, Heavyarms Upgrade

 

            Gundams.

            Clones.

            Yes. He thought as he varied their weapons.

 

 


 

            Hilde’s head rose from it’s lowered position on her arms when she heard noise outside. Heero, she thought incredulously. She didn’t expect him to return. Not after what she had done to him.

            Ever since the incident, she had moped around, dropped her head in her arms, and cried. Against all odds, she’s tried to cheer herself up with the dismantling of some machinery and the usual popcorn but pathetically failed. She didn’t know why, but the sudden departure brought back old memories… and the unexplainable pain. She had wanted to stop him before he ruined his life. Instead, she had hurt another person again.

            And her pain… her anger, all released - all over again… She had done it again… she had been her again, after trying so hard not to, for how many years…

            She jumped up from her position and wiped her sullen eyes before turning to open the door. She had the sudden overwhelming wish, hoping that it was he. Maybe so she could apologize, or at least bring him back. She yearned, with all her heart that he would return. And she didn’t know why.

            But as she turned to the hallway, she found out that she had been late again, for Heero was already standing by the foyer, his eyes softened, yet serious, and his mouth drawn in a tight line. Her heart pounded at the fact that the man never needed any keys, he could get anywhere without them, not that she couldn’t.

            She was suddenly unexplainably so happy she felt like bursting into tears. She shook her head at the surprising emotion and felt stupid. Avoiding the awkward silence, she spoke. “What are you doing here…” Darn it all, she was choking.

            Heero looked away, his eyes passing through her. Yet he didn’t speak, only nodded.

            Her eyes faltered, and she stepped forward, So that was it. She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair, ignoring the fact that she looked horrible with her eyes puffy, her face pale, and with dark circles beneath her lids. She needed to release everything, “Look Heero, I’m…

“I understand why you would want to leave, and I won’t stop you, by all means. I shouldn’t have pushed so early. I had pressured you and insulted you when I knew I should have waited for you to sort everything out. And it was very much obvious that I had no right to do so.”

She looked away, her eyes suddenly watering without an explanation “I wanted to help you Heero, but it’s clearly I hadn’t. I’m sorry, I’ve been wrong and stupid.”

            She waited for him to respond, suddenly too ashamed. But then, she slowly found Heero’s hand on her cheek, and she gasped as he turned her to face him. He then let go of her and nodded. “Do you realize,” he began quietly, though a trace of amusement was in his facial expression, “how you call me ‘Pilot’ whenever you think I am mistaken?”

            She stood speechless as he faced her again, his face turning serious. Hesitantly, so slowly, he began, “I apologize, Hilde Schbeiker,” It was the first time he had said her name ever since he arrived in her house. And now he had said it in full, “Because I was the one who was mistaken. You were correct; I should have been calm and given more thought to the situation. I had just been confused.”

            Her eyes widened, and she turned to interrupt him, “But I hadn’t given thought to your situation, and I had only thought about what I truly felt. Instead of giving you the consideration you deserved, I had lashed out and…”

            Heero stepped back. “If you hadn’t said those words to me, I could have gone out and done something I might have regretted for the rest of my life. I could have left, and destroyed my life again. I would never learn, as you said,” oh, he allowed her this much, she realized. “I should have been grateful.”

            She heard his words and kept silent, then soon smiled, her eyes brightening hopeful. Losing all self-defenses, she asked, “Then please, tell me, are you staying?”

            He nodded at her, looking down. “If it isn’t much of trouble, I ask to stay, so that I may be able to keep my promise and heal myself until I am able to use my body well again.”

            Heero would never speak to her in such an open manner again, she concluded. He might have been uncomfortable just now. But she smiled, embracing the realization just as well; he had used her very words to him. “I will allow you to do that, if you would forgive me for what I have done. If just for a friend.”

            A flash gleamed past his eyes, but she observed him as his eyes widened with a sudden insight. He then nodded, and slowly turned to her, a rare, small smile on his face. “I will forgive, if you forgive as well, as a friend.”

            She smiled in retrospect; “I forgive, as a friend.”

            He replied silently, “And I forgive.” Then, slowly, “As… a companion… a friend.” His head raised, and his burning brown eyes reached hers, somewhat vulnerable, yet very powerful. She nodded.

            Hilde felt the joy in her surge somewhat powerfully, “Well then, my friend, I welcome you again into my home.”

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