He’s flying, and drowning, and standing firmly for the first time, all at once. I can see it in his eyes, the way the light glints giddily in them. Unfathomable steel, beautiful in and of themselves, but more so now that genuine happiness lights them. It’s reflected by a thousand mirrors, refracted to pour over the rest of us like a crystal splitting light and I’m amazed.
And I’m ecstatic.
And I’m jealous. But not as much as I should be.
I watch the way those eyes in hue of condensed fire, weep when they leave the one by his side. How they falter, retract; chill when his soulmate is out of sight. It’s terrifying, the sheer depth of emotion that echoes there. And again, I’m amazed. How can someone feel so much, so deeply, so soon?
But not shatter?
Because they ARE soulmates. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the tears course unchecked, and the screams of molten rage, and the tender, undisturbed moments when they press their foreheads together, twine their arms around each others waist, and are content to gaze into each other’s eyes. Two halves of a whole, twin spirits, lovers and best friends and so much more.
And I’m jealous.
Some say it should have been me to catch the untamed wildfire in his eyes. I was his match, the princess and the hero. It was destined. Even he believed that for a time, as did the boy wearing his ring. It took so long for them to realize that the hero didn’t have to ride into the sunset with the future queen in his arms. That he could settle in a small apartment with the second soldier from the left instead. I helped them there, I think, inadvertently.
But now I see the rewards of my sacrifice, and I understand that it wasn’t so much of a sacrifice as a revelation.
And I’m ecstatic.
It is often said that love is the most rare and precious gift a person could be given. I disagree. They don’t love each other. What they share is too incredible to be defined so poorly. It’s the draw of magnetic souls, the red thread materialized as two identical bands of gold. It is eternity. It is the comprehension of forever. Aeternus.
And I’m amazed.
But I'm jealous. I want my own.
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Relena shook herself from her thoughts and stood. Dusting her white, knee-length skirt free from crumbs and sand, she glanced at the motley group crowding the wicker furniture and floor of her villa’s sunroom. Heero and Duo were being predictable, focusing totally on each other and watching the waves crash against a rocky outcrop to the north. Dorothy, Quatre, Wufei and Sally played a game of back-seat chess, each cheering on either Trowa or Catherine (Dorothy-being the feminist that she was- was practically hanging over Cat’s shoulder in her eagerness). The siblings themselves were too absorbed in mutually stilted tactics to notice much else. Hilde was curled up alone on a floral cushion, watching everyone with an amused half-smile and a bottle of premium water. No one looked up as she gathered the forgotten tray of pastries and tea and headed towards the kitchen.
After depositing her burden in the sink of the small kitchen, she slipped out through the side door, down towards the beach. She didn’t understand fully what she was doing, only that the sound of the waves on the snow-white shore seemed to be calling her name.
As she walked, the crisp autumn breeze lifted the edge of her skirt and ruffled her white tank top. It teased her, pushed her until she was running towards the waterline. Hot breath panted out of her parted lips. Her hair yanked loose from the pristine ribbon binding it, and instantly the wind had taken that up as well. She felt -more than saw- the honey strands whipped like butter about her shoulder and chin. If it weren’t for the sand shoved up through the toes of her sandals, she would’ve thought she was flying.
Or drowning.
A foot from the surf’s edge she stopped, gasping. Beneath her feet, the sand was still dry. Slowly, she bent and slid her sandals off one at a time, carefully setting them beyond the reach of the water. Bits of broken shell dug pleasantly into the soles of her bare feet.
So she was standing firmly on the ground.
The sun was setting. The first dripping rays of gold were slipping into the horizon. Shades of tangerine orange, brilliant yellow and crimson stained the light blue sky. To the East, the house was framed by deepest indigo, much like the color of Duo’s eyes. And stars were already sparking into constellations. But Relena had eyes only for the wavering reflection playing havoc on the waters of the sea. There it seemed each sky-shade was tinted Prussian, glowing in intensity. A soft breeze floated like breath from the water. Warm and feather light, it brushed across her face and arms, it lifted her stilled skirt and ran innocent fingers through her loosened hair.
Relena followed its command and brought her eyes up to the sun.
Earth’s Star, unlike anything she’d ever seen before. Instead of the magnificent aureate, it was breath-taking pink. Shocking, neon, lava-fire pink. The girl felt her heart wrench and her eyes water. It was so incredible. A single tear cascaded to the ground. Aeternus…
The wind, the moment, the image…
Languidly, Relena grasped the phantom hand of the wind and stepped into the surf.
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Hilde chuckled at Catherine’s explosive expletive. Trowa’d gotten her last knight, and was slowly breaking her lines of defense. At this point the game was pretty much decided. Quatre, grinning like a maniac, red-eyed Dorothy. She returned the childish movement with a round of curses and a glare. Sally shook her head tolerantly at the bunch of them, still in the process of combing Wufei’s silky hair. As for the Chinese pilot, he was purring rather loudly. Duo and Heero continued to ignore all of them in favor of each other and the cuddle-worthy couch they’d swiped. Relena was…
Gone?
Surprised, the shorthaired teen stood up. How had she missed that? Wasn’t she the princess’s unofficial bodyguard? It was her job to keep an eye on her. Hilde set down her empty bottle, distractedly.
She sighed, disgusted, when a search of the house turned up no sign of the missing girl except a dirty tray in the kitchen. Some bodyguard. Couldn’t even find her own charge. With a groan, she pulled open the sliding glass door to the balcony, strode out and leaned against the rail despondently. Cradling her chin in her hand, she regarded the nothingness of middle distance.
WHY do I do this to myself…she asked silently.
On the beach below, a figure in white caught the light, and caught her bemused eyes. Instantly Hilde focused and tried to make out the person’s features, but the distance was too great. He was just a blur of white. And moving away, slowly.
An unnerving thought interrupted right about then.
The Princess…kidnapped?
Without another regard, the Swede leapt over the rail and pelted as fast as she could after the fading form. Her bare feet dug violent rivets from the sand and sprayed water as she ran unheeding of the ocean’s nearness. Salty air tore breath from her lungs. Worry haunted her heartbeat in the enclosing darkness. The sun was half-set.
It wasn’t until she was twenty feet away that she stopped, stunned.
Princess?
Relena was dancing…no, waltzing, clasped in an embrace Hilde could almost SEE at the surf’s edge. Her dark aqua eyes were closed as she spun and twirled, mimicking the guiding movements of her phantom partner. The girl was moving with her heels arced up off the ground, the arches of her feet clearly defined. They barely touched the ground, and when they did, stepped delicately into the waves, tearing up tiny droplets. The spattered sea clung to the folds of her skirt, carried up into the air and whirling like a sheath of clouds around her long legs. Where the skirt ended, a wide-shouldered tank top had come untucked. It formed itself to every curve of her slender waist, ribcage and breasts. Golden hair spilled like the disappearing sunlight into the air. Breathtaking. As breathtaking as the moonset.
And in her imagination, the specter had his strong hand in the small of her back, the other gripping hers. Her articulate fingers were resting lightly on his supportive shoulder. One, two, three, one two three…rhythmic.
They danced.
Suddenly, volens nolens, Hilde was propelled forward. Though her faded cutoffs and grunge T-shirt were nothing compared to Relena’s magic, she couldn’t stop herself. The moment was too beautiful to withstand merely watching.
The phantom stepped aside gracefully.
Hilde closed her eyes, and blindly took his place. A smooth hand settled on her shoulder, and warm, elegant fingers clasped her own. She sought the gentle hollow at the small of the princess’s back and let her hand press into the crisp cotton there. Unconsciously, she continued the waltz without a hitch in movement. It was as if they’d begun the dance together.
The sun was setting.
It took Relena six seconds, six blissful seconds, to realize.
----------------
Somehow, the imaginary arms of my wind-born partner seem real, living. The shoulder braced firmly beneath my hand is bone, muscle and cloth. The hand on my back is pressure and heat. And the hand in my own is knuckle and flesh. The perfect fit, like two jigsaw pieces finally finding their way into a whole. So insanely perfect, if only it were true…
Then, warm breath washes over my cheek in a sigh.
With a choked gasp, I stop. My eyes fly open in shock.
And I’m amazed. She fits me perfectly.
“H-Hilde…?” I can hear the stunned question in my own, throaty voice, as the waves lap over my stilled feet. The sand shifts with the pull of the water.
The black-haired girl opens her own eyes slowly, looking at me soberly. “Relena.” We still haven’t moved from our final step, close, only an inch separating us. And I feel my heart speed in time with hers.
The ocean’s roar has increased, drowning out any words we possibly could have spoken. Just over Hilde’s shoulder, I can see the brilliant sun finally settling into it’s dreaming cradle. For an instant, it’s last ray catches in the sky and lights the entire world in an amazing, unfathomable shade of blue.
The same color as Hilde’s eyes.
And I’m jealous. No one should have that color but her, for me.
I think I’m flying, and drowning, and standing firmly for the first time, all at once.
“I…” she begins to whisper, but the whisper of the waves, and the wind and phantom lover, who led us to this point, shush her.
And I’m ecstatic. Could it be…?
And I think I’ve found my own Aeternus.
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Aeternus means Eternity in latin
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